how do you get rid of annoying guys?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by _DeLiA_, May 21, 2004.

  1. _DeLiA_

    _DeLiA_ Member

    this boy calls me everyday and i tried telling him that i just want to be friends but he doesnt seem to get the hint. we dont go to the same school and we hardly know eachother. hes getting really annoying! do you think if i dont pick up when he calls and never return his messages he will get a clue??!


    i wish i was a lesbian!
     
  2. Megara

    Megara Banned

    if you think dealing with men is bad..just a try a woman
     
  3. dotadave

    dotadave Member

    I don't think this is all that unsual when teenage boys, I was probably like that myself. (I'm assuming he's your age) I'd wager he thinks your his one true love and that he could NEVER be with another. :rolleyes: He's probably not dangerous; hormones just make people dumb. Go easy on him and don't go to any authorities unless he threatens you. Do just what you said and if you see him in person remind him that you're not interested and to look else where.
     
  4. backtothelab

    backtothelab Senior Member

    I know I'm setting myself up for this, but some guys just need to be told to fuck off.
     
  5. HappyHaHaGirl

    HappyHaHaGirl *HipForums Princess*

    Oh yeah! Well, my friend Nigel gave my number to one of his friends that I hardly know and he's been calling me dozens of times a day! I'm not kidding! At first, I answered every time, but after 10 or 12 conversations a day, I started not answering the phone.... So now, he'll call and let it ring, and I won't answer, so he'll call back 10 minutes later... he'll do that for about an hour, then quit for half an hour, then start it all over again! So, a couple times, I've answered and told him that I'd love to talk, but I'm leaving to go somewhere, which I know is totally shitty of me...but, whatever. So he said okay and hung up. Ten minutes later, he was calling again! The same cycle! I'd told him I was leaving! What did he think? It's annoying. He's a nice kid, but I'm not a phone person, and I know he likes me, but Andrew and I just broke up a little over a week ago and I'm definitely not anywhere near ready to start looking around. I just want to be left alone. I can't tell him not to call me, I'd feel bad...but I might have to... :( I'm going to kill my "friend" if he EVER gives my number out to anyone again!
     
  6. Penny

    Penny Supermoderaginaire

    God this is really fucked up HappyHahaGirl! That guy has a real problem, I would have called the police for harrassment if I were you... even if he's a kid, it's not an excuse! I mean I would have yelled at him and made things clear... lol (yeah sometimes I'm a bit too frank...). I also would have forced my parents to change the phone number, I would have invented a story about an old disturbed guy harrassing me or something!! Haha... and if it was my cell phone, then I would have changed it too... sold it and bought a new one, and never give out my phone number again to someone I hardly knew! But, yeah, it's your friend who gave out your number, so it's not your fault...

    That kind of things never happened to me though, luckily... guys leave me alone, I guess I scare them!
     
  7. Penny

    Penny Supermoderaginaire

    Yeah, he might get it, but that's not the best way: what you have to do is tell him the truth one more time, and threaten him that he keeps calling you he won't even get to be friends with you, it'll be nothing at all! That might work... and if it doesn't, then he has a serious problem too... try the changing numbers thing, if possible.
     
  8. Megara

    Megara Banned

    some people do need to be told off...its in your interest and his that he is told that his actions are NOT ok. I know you two are both trying to be nice...but it is only allowing him to continue acting in that way.
     
  9. HappyHaHaGirl

    HappyHaHaGirl *HipForums Princess*

    I don't want to change my number, but I don't want to say anything to him, because I don't know if he knows he's being obnoxious...

    Maybe I'll tell the friend that gave him the number to tell him to stop calling, since I'm not really friends with the stalker guy and wouldn't know what to say to him like Nigel would....

    I'm a chicken.
     
  10. honeyhannah

    honeyhannah herbuhslovuh

    If you don't do it yourself you should definately tell your friend too. I don't think you should have to change your number over something like that it is kinda excessive unless he really is crazy, which you don't really know 'cause you haven't given him the chance to accept the truth.
     
  11. dotadave

    dotadave Member

    Don't give him the run around, that only encourages him.
     
  12. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

    yeah, but they hear "please f**k me."

    testosterone poisoning is really hard on the sufferers and the females around them.

    Since we are talking young guys, stop shaving your pits, wait a month, wear a really frilly tank top and raise your arms! this works well with inhibited souls... if he likes this, maybe you should have a soda and chat to see if you click.
    Worked for me and we've been together nine years.
     
  13. Levi

    Levi Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    Some people are probably going to think I'm overeacting, but....

    I was once stalked by a guy. He acted like he worked in the building I worked in. (I later learned that he actually just wore a tool belt and came down to the basement to see me. I also later learned that he was a serial rapist, which the teenager hassling you probably isn't.) He started bringing me gifts. Then writing me notes. I told him I had a boyfriend and was totally not interested. I refused to accept his gifts and left them where he set them. I refused to read his notes. He waited for me at the time cards and tried to walk me home.

    I quit my job because of him and didn't tell anyone where I was going to work. Two weeks after I started my new job he showed up when I was working but the business was closed. I answered the door and he wouldn't leave until I took a letter from him. I was shocked that he had obviously been following me and probably knew where I lived, too. The letter had a drawing of what he imagined I look like naked. It said he wanted me to pose for him in his apartment so he could take pictures and make me an amulet that looked like the picture.

    I was afraid to go home, so I went to my boyfriend's after work. My boyfriend always boasted about how tough he was and how nobody better mess with me because where's he's from people don't call the police, they deal with their own problems and blah blah blah. Well, Mr. Macho said he didn't know what I should do.

    I went to a payphone and called the stalker. (I didn't want him to get my home number off of caller ID.) Trying to sound really tough, I said, "Yeah, I have a message for you. If you ever call me, or talk to me, or so much as make eye contact with me on the street again, I will have you dealt with. You'll be a problem I don't have anymore and you'll wish I had just called the police. Leave me the fuck alone."

    He backed off.

    While that was more serious than your situation sounds, you are obviously very uncomfortable. I think you should give him a very clear message, such as, "Stop calling me. I don't want to talk to you." Don't threaten him like I did, but if he doesn't stop tell him that he's harrassing you and you want him to stop.

    What do your parents think of this? Don't beat around the bush anymore. Make it really clear to this guy that you're sick of it. You shouldn't have to hide in your house and listen to the constant ringing of the phone. He needs to learn, sooner rather than later, that fuck off means no.

    And you need to stand up for yourself. Unfortunately, there are some people who think no means 'keep asking'.
     
  14. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

    Will Southern Bell allow blocks on certain numbers?

    Do tell the caller that you are filing a report with the police. Whether you do or don't is really up to you, but the threat should help.
    Unless the kid is savvy enough to peruse police reports (they are open records), he'll never know if you did or not.
    Treat it like crank calls for now, but if he physically pesters you, get some backup.




     
  15. AutumnAuburn

    AutumnAuburn Senior Member

    I think being honest with this guy is probably the best thing. You are young and will have to deal with these kind of people for the rest of your life. You need to learn how to be strong and stand up for yourself. Tell him straight-up to stop calling, that his calls are not welcomed. Tell him he's being annoying and ruining any possible chance with you. You don't want to hurt his feelings, but maybe he doesn't know that he's being annoying. The next girl he does this to might just call the cops on him and that might not be neccessary and think of how hurt he'll be then. Maybe all he needs is to be taught that his behavior is unacceptable. And, it would be better, for BOTH OF YOU, if you are the one to tell him. It will make you a stronger person and it will make him know you're serious. If your friend tells him, he may adopt the attitude "I'll believe it when she tells me". But, he definitely needs to be told. If after you tell him, he continues, then I would say that you should take it further. But, first, try being strong (there is absolutely nothing wrong with standing up for yourself!). Sometimes we have to be mean, that's life. Sometimes we are dealing with people who just don't get polite hints, they need to be told flat-out with no softening. This is a good thing for you to learn how to do. And you will feel much better for it, too, trust me. You need to develop your voice and you need to learn how to say "NO!". The phone calls might escalate into showing up at your door. Then what will you do? You need to stop him, before it gets out of control.
     
  16. aspirine

    aspirine Member

    What did you do with the chump from estalker.com?


     
  17. Brand New Soul

    Brand New Soul Senior Member

    I had a similar experience with a guy at my school... i'm still not quit sure how he got my number. But he would call me everyday twice a day, i just avoided his calls he'll eventually get the hint. But it sounds kind of weird.. just be careful.
     

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