how do you deal with fighting with your sig. other?

if you have one- if not, im sure you have at some point

and there are ALWAYS fights, arguments, whatever you wanna call them

how do you deal?

do you say mean things? ignore? get away? talk it out responably?

do you say things just to hurt? do you scream? cry? call a friend and vent?

etc??????

 

The only relationship of mine that has ever been that bad resulted in breaking off the engagement.

 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH wll ya want the truth??

oh me an dilli will school ya if ya wanna listen..

But before we waste a finger,We gotta know ya wanna here it...

 

no no no... i mean, even the couples that get along GREAT argue... how do you deal with getting mad at that person though?

do you walk away or yell... or other?

when ever i get mad at dan, i feel like im gonna explode and i dont know WHAT to do.

 

Talk about the problem immediately. I have a lot of "philosophies" when it comes to my relationship. I feel that it is best to talk about things immediately because if you don't then contempt for that person can start to build and that isn't a good thing to carry around on your back because they contempt will continue to grow more and more and cause the both of you to lash out at each other instead of talking civilized wow this is a long run on sentence. Having someone to talk to also helps, but be wary of other's advice because I've known many a relationship to get fucked up because someone took someone's else's shitty advice. If it helps you can talk to me anytime Trish..I haven't talked to you in a while anyways so hit me up in IM sometime.

 

well, NOW i wanna hear it.

 

thanks do you still have me on msn? im dnbgurl22@msn.com there if you dont.

um, i dunno... dan brings up shit from three years ago when ever we argue and says REALLY mean things. really really hurtful things and then later says he just said them to hurt me. well, i just dont know what to think.

 

but do you?? an would it shock you that what ya percieve to be reality wasnt??

an if yer reality was squashed,, would ya still llisten an learn from the truth??

 

oh and he LOVES to call names when we fight. i just think that is retarded.

i mean, say what you mean and be mature about it. that's how i try to be but when im called "fat", "ugly" and a "retard", all in 30 seconds... that rule kinda goes out the window.

 

I'll add you. I was offline for so long that I deleted anyone that I didn't see logged on after a couple of days whenever I got back. As for these things that he brings up... talk about them. If you have to talk them to fucking death to the point where he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Just remember to stay cool and calm about it or it will become an issue again later. Maybe that will stop him from bringing them up all the time. It's obviously eating at him inside or he wouldn't bring it up.

Edit: just saw what you wrote about the name calling.. I hate to say this but sometimes you have to know when to cut it off. Even if you have been together for years. You shouldn't have to go through emotional abuse. You deserve better than that, and if he can't give it to you...well you know. I'm sure you've heard that before though, but it takes two to make it work in a relationship. It wouldn't matter how logical and rational you were if the other person wasn't. It just wouldn't work.

 

if the shoe fits... NO,,, I KEEP tryin to get dilli to reply,, but shes dilli...


AN SHE AINT FAT UGLY OR RETARDED...

 

i always listen and try to learn.

 

who ya callin fat, fatty?

 

OK im gettin slammed,, i appolgize ,,, ya want the truth,, well in all fairness,, im way past 420 to give it nicely...

However,, im hoping that my soul can grasp a second or two of unrealighty to give ya the low down on the hoe down..

OWWWWWWWWWW NOW LET GO OF MY HAIR...

 

hahaha... hi dill. just dont call me fat.

 

AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAHAHAHHA,, yeah right..

ya really dont want dilli reality do ya???


OK..


Dilli says she aint touchin this one..
i tried..
sorry..

 

damn it! now i want a pm.

 

an she wants to slit a enormous amount of inanimate amount of throats in her dreams,,an im sure im onher list tonight..


JUST DAMN...

 

It's a rare occasion if my hubby and I fight, and even when we do, I wouldn't even call it fighting. More like disagreeing.

Seriously though, my husband is one to do the silent thing when he's pissed. He just won't talk. Me, I'm a lot like you and I want to explode, gush every single thing I'm feeling all over the place, and then hash it to death. So what do I do? I usually give him some space, do some destressing and thinking in another room or place, and once I feel calm, I approach him and we talk things out peacefully. We can never stay mad at each other for long at all.

We have never called one another names, and we don't scream or insult one another (no hitting either). We may disagree at times, but we respect one another.

I think it's a good thing to have a little space when you're upset with one another. It gives you a chance to think more rationally, and lets you cool down.

Life's too short to spend fighting with someone you love, and if you find yourself doing it more often than not, you need to examine your relationship more closely and work on what it is that is really causing these fights. Sometimes, even as hard as you try, some things just aren't meant to be.

Much peace, and many hugs...

 

damn, we CANT always get what we want, can we?