I wanted this thread to be constructive and instead it feels like critique! Why? Because there is a nasty contagion of disregarding what is qualitative authenticity! But we can see how it plays out. How do we reward authenticity in those around us? What is a good measure of whether or not a person is being real with you? One of my major flaws is my delivery seems false. What do I mean? Sometimes it feels like I'm being compared or judged and it's because I don't seem natural. "Just be yourself" seems to be on someone's mind. But to be really natural I would be a psychedelics enthusiast. And so, in an effort to be more constructive (you've seen me mention a social 'carbon footprint') and not to indicate a relaxed attitude about substance abuse or drugs and alcohol I try to say things that indicate interest in more responsible things. But the feedback seems to be that I'm inauthentic. But if I were honest about sex or sexuality or substance use or a litany of other things, I'd be in trouble or labeled as someone who has problems. And already the theme seems to be family (my parents) wanting to label me as unwell for this; what is my truth and what difference does it make? And to be less authentic with the best intentions isn't that hard. I'm ok with it and truthfully, I am interested in living my life spiritually and living my life free of drugs and alcohol (for now?). It feels like my family rejects my sobriety as inauthentic because my true feelings could easily be religious. But I've rejected that. My mother was a nun. She exhibits a habit of demonstrating religious authority in my life. And I would rather die than that. And she cannot help herself or stop; I've asked plenty of times in the kindest words and been understanding for years, but the inquisition never begins to cease and I'm not negotiating. And so, we are at our topic's title: How do we reward authenticity? I try to tell people when they represent something that helps in my life. One recent example is the AI on my browser. I thanked it! We had a discussion, and it improved my mood substantially! How do you tell someone that they're meaningful to you?
Sometimes I cry. I have a very special person who has been part of my life for about 4 years and 6 months who I love deeply with a continued interest. She and I are on hold. I cried and tried to tell her how much she means to me. It made me feel rewarded that I've invested in being authentic with her; I want my words to match expectations, but also be honest. Sometimes the best intentions though aren't adequate. But if we act on all that occurs to us, we become less sentient. We lose a very human need to express and elaborate. And our reflex interrupts our reality; there are consequences for a variety of our initial inclined instinctual behaviors. I want to do the right things with honesty in my heart. When people seek to invalidate my intent by creating a context that requires response, I have to decide not to respond quite deliberately. And it makes my intentions and direction inauthentic because I'm ignoring too many things to remain real. Again with my parents, they team up with a group of religious to invalidate my spiritual independence and try to force me into a corner from which I have 'the opportunity to choose' what they believe. "You can choose to believe!" No thanks.
That would be rough---for a short amount of time---to have parents and / or others yakkin'at me about how I should act or think--particularly something as personal as religion. I think it's obvious why I said--for a short amount of time.
I cannot be authentic with my parents. I'm still worried about their disappointment although I've been a jo to them (they say) but I do express little by little things which have changed their outlook. (I have had sort of transgender friends / classmates over to the house, and my parents are forced to see that they're good ppl and not monsters. As I get older and into my own life & space my authenticity will become stronger n stronger Sometimes I know what i want and go get it. Sometimes I don't know what I want, so I can't be strong about it Going up against religion is a hard one, I still go once a month with mom and dad but I'm just there for an appearance
I think your authenticity will increase further and more quickly as you work out who you are as an adult. Knowing sometimes what you want and other times not knowing; that's normal. Religion is a personal thing as is spirituality. There's no need to go to a formal place of religion, be that a church, mosque, synagogue or whatever. You can follow/practice your religion in private with only you and your God there. You be you. x
