how do i politely NOT sit at the dinner table?

i usually sit with the family i'm staying with this summer, during dinner. since it was the 4th of july yesterday, they BBQ'd ribs. i thought i'd be okay sitting there. i wasn't. i had to get up and put my plate in the sink and go to my room. i cried. i was so upset of their conversation. (how much they enjoyed what thay were eating) across from me sat an ex-vegetarian. i was frustrated and saddened, just didn't want to be here.

they've joked with me before about my diet. i know whats right for me. i just say nothing back to them, but last night i almost lost my cool. the smell sickened me, the sounds they were making made me turn green i'm sure.

what should i do.. say next time they plan to eat something i can't stomache watching be eaten? i was thinking of going for a bike ride or just going out the the porch to read, but seems THEY would be offened. ugh i wish i lived with some veggies!!!

 

No matter how politely you excuse yourself, if you keep avoiding them at dinner time they are going to suspect either you feeling bad or that you hate them.
It may be that you do not like them, but if you are staying with them it will make things worse if they think that.
Mind you, if they can't extend you the politeness not to offend you by their conversation then maybe you should not extend them the politeness of sharing the table at all, with or without reason.
How hard is it in your area to find veggie housemates or housefinding services - there are some agencies that seem to have an option of 'veggie only' on their profile pages.

And if you are in the Austin TX area and looking for a housemate give me a shout. I am vegetarian except when I eat out, but still have dairy products, eggs, not too fussed about entirely veggie cakes as long as they taste good.

 

i'm staying with a lady who needs help because she is wheelchair bound. her parents live upstairs and her brother's family comes over for dinner at least 3 times a week. i'm leaving august 18th.

i didn't join their conversation because (SORRY IN ADVANCE) it was "ooh these ribs are soo good" .. "wow you really out did yourself cooking this meat" .. "these are the best ribs, look how the meat is just falling off the bones" .. and thats how it went for 30 minutes before i couldn't sit there any longer.. i know i had turned green. i felt the blood drain from my face at one point and when i no longer felt faint is when i got up.

this happened once before.. same dish.. they had even set the plate in front of me a one point .. that time i just sat there.

i know too much about the process to take it lightly, sitting there, watching them eat what used to be an alive creature.

at one point dinner someone made the comment .. "this is like corn on the cob, but alive" .. ugh!! what the hell? .. no i don't think i can do it again with out snapping.

 

Don't expect them to change, us omnivores delight in our carnal knowledge too much.

 

i don't.. just don't wanna watch them eat

 

I know what you mean, when I first met my in-laws they would crack on about how it is unnatural and unhealthy not to eat meat, sometimes saying stuff like how they would force any vegetarian to eat a steak. Its just plain rude, but as my wife (ex/still is/god knows what is happening with that and never sure how to put it) said - they weren't trying to be rude it is just how they are.

Ignorance or minor-joking is one thing, persistently doing all ya said is an other.

If you've done all you can to solve the problem, and they obviously know that they are offending you, then I reckon you would be within your rights to snap.

Stick it out as long as you can but don't feel bad about leaving if you have to, and maybe work on a few revenge ideas (theres gotta be some out there - such as the dog food curry that you might make them or whatever).

 

There are a couple of ways to handle this situation. One is to sit down with your host when it's just the two of you and everything is peaceful and just say that your vegetarian beliefs are very important to you and you are very hurt by the things her family is saying at the dinner table. That you don't want to hurt her feelings but when they talk about the animals that they are eating you will have to excuse yourself from the table. You could maybe explain about how you feel about the senseless way the animals are treated or whatever you feel like sharing of your beliefs. That way she knows why you're leaving and can decide how she wants to handle it. The second way to handle things is to tell her that you feel it is a special family time when her children come over so you will not be joining them for meals. you don't want to disrupt their special time together. Of course she'll probably say that she wants you to join in in which case you go back to plan one.

Kathi

 

It's a tricky situation.

It's extremely thoughtless and rather malicious for them to tease you with there comments.

But if you try explaining to them your reasons for your vegetarianism too strongly then you'll get accused of being preachy.
And if you get angry and start yelling at them that'll solve nothing and probably just make things worse.
But also if you simply keep your mouth shut and take them all this then it'll also solve nothing and eventually you'll crack.

Basically you need to talk to your family members, on an individual basis would be best as then they would probably be more receptive than in a group where they could bully you. You need to explain why you are a vegetarian, and then explain to them how you feel when they make nasty comments regarding your choice and how you do not like to be around meat. If you make them understand how you feel then they'll be much more respectful towards you.

If you really cannot make them understand no matter how hard you try then it's probably best you explain that you do not feel comfortable around them at meal times and you'll be eating your meal seperate from them. Explain your reasons clearly.

This will show them that you serious and it will show them how hurtful you find there attitude, and hopefully they'll learn to respect you.

But don't lose your temper no matter how tempting it is.

 

I once was reprimanded for refusing to eat pepperoni pizza that was offered by a client and refusing to tell them why I wouldn't eat it.

You cannot explain things to a person with a closed mind. It will not register. All you will get in return is ignorance and anger born of fear. Excuse yourself and state that you prefer to dine alone.

Better yet, you shouldn't have set the precedent from the start.

 

E=mc2........the author of this equation was a meat eater......
The world moves forward because of the contribution of meat eaters.....
Oh, by the way, if you don't want to see something all you have to do is close your eyes....

 

Well now, that was mighty insensitive.

 

Insensitive ?? That's the way truth is several times....though my intention is not to hurt anybody.......

 

"Nothing will benefit human health and increase chances of survival for life on earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet." Albert Einstein

 

he never said that....he had his mouth full of pork chops, words were misunderstood...
so now veggies are re-writing history ?? so orwellian......

 

LOL!

Better luck next time Crosslight.

 

tell me where i can find that quote....i want to see that quote with my own eyes....

 

...and please don't send me to wikipedia......

 

You must have some serious issues to come trolling in a vegetarian forum. I mean, really.

Besides, we don't lecture you on how many nickels you earn blowing sailors, don't lecture us on nutrition.

 

Just do a google search on Einstien--quotes and it'll come up in alot of places, including sites that have nothing to do with vegetarianism.

Here's one (sorry, my stupid-ass mac won't copy links);

Scientists Quotes - Chinnappan Baskar

 

I note that "evolution to a vegetarian diet" implies that we are several generations away from being able to live on a vegetarian diet. Even geniuses can be wrong when it comes to food.