so yesterday, i took a pretty large dose of oxycontin (please dont lecture me on opiate use, it's a very occasional thing for me) and later was with my girlfriend, and we were having sex and i couldnt get an erection. i can pretty much completely attribute this to being on oxy. i eventually did, but it just wasnt great. i was too stoned, and just not in the right mood. the thing is, my girlfriend is very anti-drug. she obviously was wondering what was up, but i didnt want to tell her that, becuase it would upset her. shes ok with my blazing, but i really just dont think that would sit well. and the thing is, we don't have sex very often, were young and don't have a convient place all the time, and shes also had some difficult past experiences that i wont discuss here that she says make it difficult for her to be intimate. but anyway, would you attempt to explain the reason to her? i think she would be really upset, she doesnt understand drug use and would definitley spend a lot of time worrying, but i dont want her to think it was her..
I would only explain it to her if she is feeling insecure; like if she felt like you couldn't get an erection because you aren't attracted to her. You need to reassure her that that is not the reason you couldn't get an erection.
Jesus tell her, honesty is a good thing in a relationship. I'm not a fan of drug use either but I'd be exceptionally pissed if my bf did it, hid it from me and it affected our sex life. Tell her or she will probably be even more angry with you when she finds out.
I'm with him, and if she really pries into it say you were really upset or nervous about something else from that day.
"The reason I couldn't get it up the other night is 'cause I was all kinds of fuuucked up!" Hmm. Doesn't sound so good does it? You could always tell her you're gay.
let her know it was all you, man - that your head was somewhere else - give her some love, affection and reassurance.....being your sweet self, i think, would make things much better in this situation rather than having some kind of heavy confession session..... ....just try not to do it again
omg ok, this is like, or WAS like, a daily occurance for me. i was addicted to methadone and id be so high all the time i was pretty worthless in bed, and in my experience it makes the woman feel VERY insecure if they think your sober! you gotta come forward, i think she'd rather be with an honest occasional user than think she's with someone who isnt really turned on by her.
Just say you were exhausted and too tired to get it up properly... or tell her you have a history of erectile dysfunction.
If you're not mature enough to own what you're doing, you're not mature enough to be having sex. To be honest, you're using this girl by not showing her who you REALLY are and letting HER decide if she wants to be fucking a druggie (personally, I wouldn't). And WHY are you lying to her? One reason only - to protect YOU. If you told her, you would most likely lose her - and you know it. It is sick to fool someone into thinking you're someone you're not (and you using drugs is obviously as big deal for her) and then to have sex with them under false pretences. Shame on you! I hope this girl wakes up and realises, but in the end when druggies spiral out of control they're pretty easy to spot. If you really care about her, forget your selfishness for a minute and be honest with her. Then let HER decide what she wants. And don't come on here asking us to make up a convincing LIE for you so you can continue to mess her about and keep up your sad habit at the same time.
This is funny as hell...but just tell 'er. Trying some Oxy isn't that big a deal, and she'll probably be somewhat relieved.
Put the shoe on the other foot, man. Pick something you wouldn't want her to do. would you want to know? It's rather shitty to hold something back from someone who cares about you, even though it might hurt that person's feelings. Man up.
you guys are cracking me up......yep, it was "just an oxy" - one - not a series of days strung out til he can't get it up! if it was just a one off thing that won't happen again, why dredge it back up and lend it any energy at all?...sometimes it's better to withold the truth and keep the relationship going - i'm not saying to lie about it, i just think letting it go might be best in this case if it becomes a habitual prob, then yes, it's time for those true confessions - i see it more as someone being young and stupid - mistakes are made, keep moving forward instead of living in the moment of one small failure
it's not a matter of "dredging it up" - it's something that's just happened. which is BESIDE THE POINT. honesty is very important in a relationship - especially one involving sex. if it's not a big deal, why hide it? because he doesn't have the courage to own his mistakes? he doesn't even seem to think it's a mistake! it's 'just one' and he lies about it - and that's okay MY ASS!! what rubbish - taking any drug, ever is plain stupid. lying about yourself to someone who is chosing to share their body intimately with you is using them. it doesn't matter if it was one or a million - it's the principle of honesty, integrity and ownership.
he should have been honest to start with, i agree......but if this chick already has issues within herself, telling her the truth won't make things better at all - it's a crappy situation all the way around i do feel honesty is best, but i don't feel you should unload your burden on someone just to make yourself feel better, like you did the "right thing" while someone you love sits there and sobs due to their own issues....each situation is different, and i simply feel that in this one, it's best to let the whole stupid thing go and learn from the mistakes i also feel that if you're a hard partyin' person, you should try to hook up with someone who shares the same tastes, or is at least tolerant of you getting your own kicks, but that's another subject entirely
surely there's a difference between 'unloading a burden' (talking about issues, problems) with someone who's not in an emotional space to listen. that's needing a friend to talk to and making sure you choose someone who is in a space to help. however this is different. he is not looking for someone to unload his issues on, he's wondering if he should be honest with the person who is choosing to share her body and life with him. and the answer is YES! sure, she may be upset - i would be if someone i trusted lied to me. but simply because she will be upset (not because she has 'issues' - not liking druggies and not wanting to be lied to is NORMAL, it's not unreasonable!!), or because he will be caught out is not a good enough reason to not tell her. OF COURSE she will be upset. that's beside the point. he needs to be honest and face up to what he's done - lying is just not good enough.
he did mention that she already had some personal issues she didn't want to share with him and i was trying to take where her head might be into consideration - my opinions are based on the information he provided, and at no point did i suggest or condone being a liar. i hope he works it out, no matter what course of action he chooses to take
