How can you tell when to say "It's Over"?

I've been with a man for over a year now and we have lived together for almost the whole relationship. He's my first real romance. Looking back on the letters I wrote him early on, I find myself thinking "I don't feel that powerful about him anymore" He's polyamorous, which I didn't think would bother me and even participated in lovemaking with his ex and him. I found out, though, that his polyamory bothers me alot. I've talked to him about it, but I don't want him to change who he is, but I don't want to forever be uncomfortable wondering how many others there are. He claims that while he may love other girls, they will never compare to me.At times, I feel like I don't love him romantically anymore at all. Other times I find myself wanting wholeheartedly to make it like it was, make it last. I can't imagine being without him, yet more and more I'm giving thought to moving away.I honestly don't know what to do. I ran away from home and dropped out of school to be with him, so my family is just waiting for me to come back with my tail between my legs and now I've lost bonds with many people I used to have because of my actions... I just have no idea what I'm feeling and I was wondering if anyone else could give me some advice/feedback...?
Since running away, I have shown signs of bipolar disorder (which my mother has) and Severe Depression (Mother has also) have had fainting spells and almost been admitted to a hospital because of the severity of the inner conflict and the way it was manifesting itself.

 

Better to go home with a lesson learned. Back up, regroup and find something/someone that you will feel joy being with. Life is too short a dance to waste time when you know its done.
My personal opinion, for what its worth, run do not walk to your nearest exit, do not pass go, do not collect 200.00.

 

As much as you want things to go back to the way they were, things change. In every relationship. I admire you for trying to respect your boyfriend's wishes and his belief in polyamory. That shows real strength and you must have loved him very much. However, you must think of yourself as well. If you aren't totally comfortable with it, that's ok. Most people feel the need to be loved by one person and want the same in return. It doesn't make you a prude or a close minded bitch, that's normal and you deserve to be with someone who only wants you. He deserves someone who has lots of casual sex. He's not a bad person, either, that's just him. If your lifestyles don't match and cause a lot of conflict, it's better to let things go, cherish the fun memories you had and each find someone who will make you feel special and loved.

You are showing signs of great stress and depression and that's what you need to focus on now. Get yourself in a position to heal and rest. Mend your heart and learn how to be that happy positive girl that lives inside every woman.

 

Go home and say they where right. there is nothing wrong with making mistakes in our lives we never learn anything if we spend our lifes worrying about making mistakes. You belong with your family and friends.


You are still young and will find someone that will make you happy. You can never go backwards in a relationship. Once the spark is gone there is very little chance you will ever get that back. You learned a lot in this relationship remember what you have learned and move on.

GO HOME I am a Mom I know thats what I would want you to do if you where my daughter.

Love & Understanding
EnonEmouse

 

you should go home to your family. you should especially go home if you have had medical problems since leaving.there is no way that a relationship could work if you arent totally comfortable with his polyamory. I wouldnt be either.

 

You should really go to the doc about the fainting spells, if you haven't already. I've had six of them, luckily none since last Jan. I didn't really think it was that important (otherwise I would have gone after the first one, instead of the sixth) but it can be a sign of heart trouble! I now know I have a heart condition, which I was unaware of before!! It is definately something you should have checked out. I don't want to sound like a mom or anything... I just wish the best for you! Take care of yourself! If you don't, no one else will!

 

If one of the reasons you don't want to give up is because you're dreading the "I told you so" from you're family, that's probably a good indication that it's time to move on.

 

Honey -- you need to go home... Everyone has a relationship like this at one time or another. He may mean the world to you but that doesn't mean it was meant to be.

Good luch sweetie and take care of you.

 

wow I am sorry sweetie. i would leave him. there are plenty of guys who will treat you right don't waste your time.

 

ditto

 

When I was 19 I moved 1600 miles across the country against my family and friends' wishes to live with a guy that I thought was really someone worth pursuing. After about 3 or 4 months of living with him I could see that I had made a mistake. All of the passion of the first month had disappeared and we were only together because we lived together. So I decided that sucking it up, taking it on the chin, and going back home to a chorus of "I told ya so" was better than feeling like I was stuck with a man that I didn't love. So I left hm and travelled 1600 miles back home and when I got off the train my dad and brother were waiting there for me without an "I told you so" in sight. My mom and I talked a few times about it, like why did I go and stuff, but she was happy that I made the decision to come back home and swallow my pride instead of sticking to a dead-end situation with this guy. It's been almost 4 years now since I made that journey and I am married to my high school crush and have a beautiful son. So I chalk it up to a learning experience, and I know that as excruciating as it was at the time to admit that I was wrong, it was totally worth it because I found my happily ever after. I told you that to tell you this: Don't stay with this guy just because you saw something in him at one time. Take it on the chin and go back home, stand on your own two feet and find out what makes you happy. I mean really really happy. Oh, and maybe try to find a guy who is only interested in you, no more of these "polyamorous" guys, I hate that. Enjoy your youth and don't rush to get yourself tied down just yet, honey. When the time is right, love will find you again. Good luck. Let us know how it goes.