hello everyone, I would like to know, how could we be sure that a relationship is to last forever? Do you think that love is more important than anything else in a relationship? Or are there other things? Thank you.
You can never be sure of anything, except that nothing lasts forever. One way or another, a relationship is going to end. But this is a good thing. Realizing that all things must come to an end will enable you to appreciate the things you have while you have them. I don't think a single one thing can be identified as being the most important in a relationship, there are many factors to take into account. Love, trust, communication, etc.
Trust and communication are more important than love. Fairy tale romance doesn't exist. The brutal reality is that relationships that work are a partnership, two people working hard to make a life together work. After the "honeymoon" phase, it becomes a union of companionship and work. Marriages that last a life time are people (generally from a different era of morals and standards than our own) who learned that/knew that and have made it work together, out of respect for each other and a want to keep their lifestyle.
No relationship lasts forever - that's why marriage vows end with the clause, "till death do us part." Because even the happiest, most loving relationship WILL end. How it will end is up to you and your partner. But it WILL end. Sound bleak? Not to me - and I'm happily married. But part of my happiness comes from an acceptance that someday my wife and I will be parted. But how we will be parted is our choice. What do we choose to put in our relationship?
A lifetime isn't forever. Love does not equal romance. While I think relationships can be stressful at times, I don't think a life-long commitment should have to be considered hard work. As long as you are under no romantic illusions about life in general, it should be easy to be with that someone for as long as you live.
You cannot know, you can decide to try, to have faith, to make it work, but the ebb and flow of energy will be different all through the relationship. Stability: whatever your personal definition of that is. It's a lot harder to get through tough times if one partner is carrying all the weight. Passion is good, and it has to be reignited regularly. Never take your partner for granted. adaptability: things do change: accidents happen in life and the couple who can be flexible will survive together, if they want to.
:cheers2: It has been like that for me and my wife - although there are of course times that are stressful and trying, in general we don't really feel that we're working hard. Or maybe the hard work we put in our relationship doesn't feel hard for us. Maybe we ought to rethink how we use the word "work" here - it seems to connote that life-long commitments are no fun. But work and play are not necessarily mutually exclusive - not in relationships, and not in life.
I like that. I was married for 18yrs. And this was why it lasted. She died of an overdose. And again I have found a girl who shares these same ethic's. This works. My g/f now is a stripper. We've been together 5 1/2 yrs. now. I trust her 100%
We can't. Period. Hmm... Drummingmama mentioned passion, which has to be re-ignited regularly and I agree. I'd like to add that compassion is also good. I do not mean pity here. I mean com+passion, as in shared passion. What is your shared passion? Do you not both share a passion to be happy? To be loved? Compassion is about realizing that it's not all about you and your own happiness and your own need to be loved. Your partner yearns for this too. Also, wisdom is good. Although that will come in time, as you both mature. But a willingness to be open to life's lessons, as well as to reflect every now and then, can help you on the path to wisdom. Drummingmama also mentioned faith - again I agree with her. Let me just share with you my definition of faith. Faith for me doesn't necessarily have to be religious (though that might help too). Let me use swimming as an analogy. When you swim, you don't fight the water. You don't struggle and flail your limbs wildly to keep afloat. Instead you trust in the water. You trust that it will naturally hold you up. You trust in your body's natural buoyancy. Because of your trust, you are able to relax, and your motions are limited to those that are actually helpful in keeping you afloat and moving across the water. Does this mean that you will NEVER EVER sink and drown? NO! There are NO GUARANTEES that you will not sink and drown. No matter how good a swimmer you are, and no matter how calm the water is, there's no 100% guarantee that the water will not kill you. Maybe you have a 90% chance of not ever drowning. But there's always that 10% chance that you will. AND YET... you don't let that stop you from swimming. Now THAT is what I call faith. It's about bravely taking a chance and surrendering to the unknown, be it the unknown waters of the sea, or the unknown waters of a lifelong commitment to a person. Ever wonder why we use the phrase "a leap of faith?" Because faith is exactly that: a leap into what we don't know, trusting only that we will be okay even though there is a chance that we won't. That's why I find those relationship quizzes and articles in magazines about "how to keep your lover" and "how to tell if he/she's the one" laughable. They want to sell you something that will guarantee that you will never ever drown - but no such thing exists.
