Horrorscopes And Sex...

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by bedlam, Jan 30, 2005.

  1. bedlam

    bedlam Senior Member

    HORRORSCOPES AND SEX... PISCES
    You'd think them prudish when you first meet them, but they will beguile and seduce you, lead you astray and do it with such charm you'll have taken your kit off before you know it.
    Pretty indecisive so they cant get rid of any lover.
    Power play... dont need sex need power. The sad thing is, they do tend to be able to get more people naked than any other sign.... truth is they are a bit quick...very frail ego's.. do like to be secretive about sexual relationships ...a bit lax in their personal habits.

    ARIES
    They think that they look slimmer than they really are...
    The aries do like to fall in love.. they are lazy self indulgent, corrupt and avaricious - and that's the good side of them.... puppy like in love... staying in love long after the traces of love have vanished... Tangle with them at your peril...
    Morals of a mongoose, sleep with anything that moves.. unreliable... swearing undying devotion while tryingto seduce your sister... also like the idea of sex in public...although they are quite conventional in bed.

    TAURUS
    Go to great lengths not to fall in love.. Exaggerated, theatrical and overexcited,... bulls rutting... dont take hints so will have to give them the brush off with real brushes...or go away, i dont want to sleep with you .. you are repugnant etc. and that might do it.
    Sexual tendacies towards the natural, basic the lusty and the rude. dont like kinky sex as afraid it might cost them too much.

    GEMINI
    falls in love and everybody has to hear about it.... and all the gory details.. like to dominate in a relationship..many many lovers - as many as a swiss army knife has blades... prudish holding hands - boring.. no one betrays a Gemini and gets off without a sound earbashing... whatever you do, dont employ one, they will steal the office furniture out from under you..

    CANCER
    Dirty little things..
    like to make love in chalets, country house hotels, exotic hideaways. once there willl be busy taking notes on the decor while you are busy trying to satisfy their insatiable needs.
    Once first flushes of lust have worn off... switch their attention to gardening ... bizarre

    LEO
    A leo in love - God protect us. destined to be hurt in love, nay tortured, dismembered, torn apart. They bring it on themselves... fall in love with the most unsuitable people.emotional cripples, too young, too old, too tall, too poor, already married, wrong planet.
    They are either ripping your clothes off or leaving them will alone...will pounce on you when in the mood and get angry with you if you do the same... Tame boring and unadventurous.

    VIRGO
    If yo like going t bed with teddy bears and stuffed animals you'll be fine. Sex with virgos is like going swimming - cold and clean and a bit wet...its all so healthy ..
    Over concerned when in love and will need constant resurance.

    LIBRA
    Seem to attract shallow people. Anyone with a hint of substance would run a mile from these fops and vane dandies. We are still all jealous of them cos everything seems to come so easily to them. Always have the best people on their arm. like to have sex with lots of mirrors around, candles ..In bed they are pretty good.. considerable charm... once you take your clothes off, they lose interest... love waving goodbye to ex lovers.

    SCORPIO
    They would do it in the street if they thought it would make them more alluring... if you are going to make love with a scorpio make sure you are fit and have endurance... make jealous lovers... so dont be unfaithful, that for them to be....If you betray them, or they think you have, they will seek revenge...

    SAGITTARIUS

    You get 2 types - quiet depressed hermit, or pompous, knowledgeable, know it all type.
    Arrogant dont fall in love a lot.. falling in love with totally unsuitable people - the kind who prop up their egos and pander to their aches and pains.. terrible hypochondriacs.

    CAPRICORN
    They don do romance or trivia or small talk or baby talk or endearments..
    heavy, grey and HORNY.. The only place a capricorn lets her hair down is in the bedroom ... dont initiate anything, but have stamina eand exhaust you with their energy.. not a lot of finess but do have amazing staying power.

    AQUARIUS

    What are you mad? Do you think these people fall in love with human beings? Fall in love with specimens, spiders, toads, entire solar systems, books... but never people (individuals) They love fmaily and society ... but not on a one to one basis. never understand bits marked feelings or emotions. but are faithful.. have sex on trampolines, reference libraries..
     
  2. Soulless||Chaos

    Soulless||Chaos SelfInducedExistence

    Lol, funny 'cause it's true... :D Libra is what I am. :D
     
  3. sleepy_ashes

    sleepy_ashes Member

    being a cancer is ever so much fun....

    ....damn, i better get to work!


    ...anyone wanna go to a hide-a-way bed and breakfast?
     
  4. Soulless||Chaos

    Soulless||Chaos SelfInducedExistence

    No one else has an opinon on this matter? [​IMG]
     
  5. BlackGuardXIII

    BlackGuardXIII fera festiva

    AQUARIUS

    What are you mad? Do you think these people fall in love with human beings? Fall in love with specimens, spiders, toads, entire solar systems, books... but never people (individuals) They love fmaily and society ... but not on a one to one basis. never understand bits marked feelings or emotions. but are faithful.. have sex on trampolines, reference libraries..


    spiders..........shudder

    trampolines, libraries......been there, done that. What is really fun is sex in the car.......while I'm driving. It is a little tricky, but damn!
     
  6. ZePpeLinA

    ZePpeLinA Jump around!

    I'm a libra...yeah i'm good at it...true about attracting shallow people though.
     
  7. Hippievixen

    Hippievixen Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    *LOLOLOLOL*

    oh man, it's so true :)
     
  8. Hikaru Zero

    Hikaru Zero Sylvan Paladin

    Hey man, I'm a Scorpio, and I totally resent that! Heh ...
     
  9. mystical_shroom

    mystical_shroom acerbic

    haha interesting :D
     
  10. stuntdragon1

    stuntdragon1 Member

    SCORPIO's descriptions definitely fit me!
     
  11. MinneBi

    MinneBi Bloody Hell Bonkers

    Overexcited? Yep, that's me! Sexual tendencies to the lusty and the rude? Gawd yes!
     
  12. ~jane_says~

    ~jane_says~ Member

    I'm a gemini...and yes I do talk and talk...very true about the prudish hand holding...I'm absolutely uninterested in pdas....Very interesting about those pisces...as I have a pisces lover...hmm something to definitely think about..lol...
     

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