I'm not sure how to start the question so I'll just ask. For those of you who are homosexual; what would you think if someone told you that they are not gay but have enjoyed having gay sex? Do you think someone could enjoy having sex with the same sex and not be "gay" in the sense that they could never be in a relationship with someone of the same sex? P.s. I do not mean to offend anyone with my question. I am just curious what you may think.
I would not have any problem accepting someone who says that he has enjoyed having gay sex but that he would never want to be in a m2m relationship. I know a few men who are very open about being gay but would never want to be in a relationship with another man. There are really three issues in your question here: Having sex with other males does not necessarily means that you actually ARE homosexual. There are numerous occasions of situational homosexuality, in college dorms, at military bases, and prisons, and in many environments where no women are readily available for sex. You can really start viewing someone as being functionally homosexual once a he establishes a pattern of sexual behavior which tends to lean towards having m2m sex on more or less regular basis over a significant time period. Lots of people however, ARE homosexual but insist that they are not GAY. To some this is purely an issue of semantics. I see a big difference between people who may be very homosexual but are leading straight life, not attending gay events, not frequenting gay bars, and generally not subscribing to the gay-lifestyle. Some of these people are in a very deep closet about their sexuality, and the others are all out and about but neither want to identify with the gay-lifestyle nor do they want to wear their sexuality on their sleeves. And then, there is an issue of relationships. Many men out there straight and gay alike are neither capable nor interested nor desirous of having any kind of love relationship with anyone else. Their sexual orientation may or may not play a role in this. Typically, a number of practicing bi-sexual men claim that they find other men sexually attractive but that they are emotionally interested in maintaining love relationships with women only. Needless to say, this does not sit too well with a number of gay activists. KD
