How do you women feel about being a homemaker? And men, what do you expect from your woman when you come home? Dinner on the table, Spotless house, Baking a pie for dessert or whatever. It seems like alot of people still think it should be like "pleasantville" the movie. Every dish clean, all clothing washed, and put away. If your a mom and homemaker, its not that easy!
I wanna be a stay at home mom, but think with my education and background i would be more useful taking my kids to museums and baby sign language and all that stuff rather than baking pies everyday...plus I don't want my kids hyped on sugar everynight. I was reading an article about how in san diego (where I live) 80 percent of stay at home moms have at least a BA 30 something percent with a graduate degree. I agree that if ya stay home you should clean up and cook because it's only fair, but i also think going overboard and pretending to be the june cleaver type would be unfair to my kids considering how I've spent so much time at work and in school learning how to develop enviorments for really happy and smart kids...tide pools and long walks on the beach so i can look hot as I get older and the kids will stay active and veggie pizza for dinner... or some ridiculous meal i made while the kids are watchin blues clues and i turn pale, fat and my kids are experience deprived because ia m home cooking and cleaning all the time...im goin with the tide pools
well, i can see it fitting. the question was in regards to how being a homemaker and the requirements different people have affect their relationships.
I think I have more expectations from myself then my man does... I try and have all the cleaning done and a good meal planned out but I guess I am kinda old fashioned in this area of thinking.. I think my role as a women is to keep my man happy.. healthy.. and motivated he may may not ask me to do all the things I do but I know he is happier when I do them.
If I'm doing all the cleaning I feel like I'm taking care of an adult child. I'd rather go my own way.
you know what dave does for me? when he gets upfor work in the morning, he makes the coffee the way i like it, even though he stops and gets his own at work. he then goes into the dressing room between our bathroom and bedroom, and closes the door so it doesn't make too much noise. if it's a nice day outside, he opens all the shades and windows because he knows i like it. on his way out the door, he gives every one of us a kiss. on the weekends, he does the laundry. he never ever picks up after himself, though.
Thats understandable. I don't think I could be a stay at home Mom. I would feel like I waisted 10years in school. I would like to take at least 2 years off though but after that I should be able to work and still have time for kids.
i can't think of a better way to use my education, life experience and job training than in raising my daughters the way my mother never had a chance to.
I make dinner most nights, food shopping & laundry. moping & vacuming. My Princess works killer hours. Cooking for two is easy Esp if its salads everyday.
indeed. dave used to kind of shuffle me to the back of his life. things were kinda shitty for me. e finally figured that out. he loves me too much to see me fading away under the psychological and physical burden. he's started giving me those few little things i need to feel appreciated and to give me a couple hours here and there. and it's done him nothing but good. it's amazing how a few kind acts can bring so much good to yourself, especially when i comes to your wife. for the expense of a gym membership and childcare punch card he's getting his wife back. for the price of a car, he's got a wife who's secure and independent again. i don't think men truly understand the mental cost of going from someone who's used to working 2 or 3 jobs to having just the one. you don't socialize as much, people don't respect you as much, and you crave human contact so much. and when you add on top of the depression a lack of a reliable vehicle, no money, and no time off, you've got a bad time on your hands.
Quote: Originally Posted by mamaKCita well, i can see it fitting. the question was in regards to how being a homemaker and the requirements different people have affect their relationships. ~~~YES THATS EXACTLY WHERE I WAS GETTING AT!~~~ I guess my whole deal with the issue, is I always worked, I provided for myself, and was a single mother for a while and worked for both of us. Now I just feel wierd. Almost useless. Cus I feel like professionaly, I have nothing to show for the day. I got the dishes caught up, and washed all your underwear! And I feel like that the stereo type of a homemaker or housewife expectations are true. I dont think that the expectations have changed much since the 50s !
It would be nice if my future wife did all the cleaning, cooking & other chores around the house... especially cus I hate cleaning! but if she doesn't, I don't see that as a problem that could potentially harm our relationship. I would find a way to adjust to that, not a big deal.
several of my jobs have had part time employees who were full time home makers... they would work 1 or 2 shifts a week so that they could get out of the house, socialize, have a little separation in their life and had a little spare cash as well.. it was always a move that made a lot of sense to me
The problem that I see with being a full time homemaker is when you say "some days I hate it" because there is always someone saying "how could you?!?!" It is easy to become disenchanted in the whole "homemaker" role. When a person works they have a paycheck to show for it. I have done both and I honestly prefer working. It doesn't mean that I am a bad mom, or horrible wife. It simply means that I am not someone that likes being a homemaker. Currently I am a full time student working on a masters degree and a homemaker. I spend a lot of time juggling my life. Some days are easier than others! I do the majority of the house cleaning, all of the cooking, events coordinator, secretary, and so on. I will say that my days are never boring.
I agree with you 100%. Any homemaker (man or woman) should be able to have a life outside the home. Working part time outside the home allows a person some freedom and the extra $$$ comes in handy for a "spa day" or family trip. Better yet, the money is a great way to start a savings plan.