Look in my poetry section & tell me what you think. http://www.geocities.com/apurplethought/index.html?1090283226299
Been to your page. You're full of images but you're too random for me. I like to see words work within an inferred or perceived purpose and when you grip a metaphor, extend it. Harness your power. Focus on your muse. ucandoit
Okay, I'm not a member of the everybody-be-nice-to-each-other-club but I'm also not Mr. Nasty. I've not been on this forum all that long but the thing that stands out already is the inability of many contributors to give sincere praise or criticism. Everyone wants to improve and you won't if you don't have people who will help you. Lava has potential but it has to be focused. Tell her that.
ummmm....excuse the fuck outta me.......I don't subscribe to being nice to be nice. I'm not very good at ass kissing. I'm not very good at critism but I will point out something that I don't like too (usually I don't respond). Sometimes when I can tell they are new to writing what I will do is point out the lines that I DO LIKE. There is more than one style out there...and I didn't read all of her work closely but my favorite was the first. Sorry bub but it made perfectly good sense to me. Could use a bit of tweaking but what can't. All in all I really liked that a shitload. What annoys me actually is having to navigate her site.
Hmmm, you have a pottymouth for a 46 year old. I'm only 17 but I've read tons of verse of all kinds, all styles and I'm impudent enough now to think I know what works and what doesn't. I'll try to help when I can and show how to do it. And if anyone doesn't like what I say that person can ignore it. 'Made perfectly good sense to me...' Let me see you say that with a straight face!
~ yes dear, whatever you say dear....sorry about your virginal ears dear......sorry for your condescending attitude dear.....oh yah and fuckityfuckfuckfuck too, lmao. Lighten up mannn.......
Simmer down kids Stefan you sound like part of the posse, so your admiration is probably biased. And I'm sure kidder meant no offense and I saw nothing discouraging in his comment. (#3) Let her write, she's 15, she'll find her voice, she'll experiment, everything will be honky dory!
~ very true KittenX. You have a wonderful ability in my opinion to critique sincerly and respectfully to people. And sorry if alotta people come off as ass kissers, but at least they do bother to respond at all and maybe, just maybe.....they like the damn thing...hmmmm, imagine that
Well, a little dialogue is taking place. Good! And just to be sure, gdh, I'm not condescending- I'm just an AH. I'm sure you've met many of those in your golden years. (And don't give me one of those granny swipes- I'm just kidding!) I like to give comments on people's efforts but it is a little uncomfortable when I have to scramble over the groupies. Expecting comments to go hand in hand with contributions is an eminently sensible suggestion. And I'll give more contributions as well, although I expect some folks are gunnin' for me. I do hope they are but they'll never meet anyone who's tougher on me than- me. I'll glady join in and point out the flaws in my own poems as I've done already in one of the few pieces I've posted here. I am trying to be civil but I come from chats on the net where being a good AH can actually be a night's entertainment.
I'm not condescending- I'm just an AH. I'm sure you've met many of those in your golden years. (And don't give me one of those granny swipes- I'm just kidding!) __________________________________________ Condescend this~! * raises the middle finger salutation* Granny whatfuckinevah.....pffffffft~!....and and for granny swipe, I'd rip yer arm off and beat you with the wet end. AH? do you mean asshole? Naw, you aren't that good at it...lil toadfucker ...maybe, hehe
