[His Optimism]

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by MistysFrosted, May 8, 2004.

  1. MistysFrosted

    MistysFrosted Member

    The three freckles under his squinted eye remind me

    of connect-the-dot pictures, the smile he loosely throws

    hits me like hail, like fire.

    His fingers are flat and round and speak volumes.

    They whisper: I hold you close because it is dangerous to

    cross a street alone. He

    explains, how futile your optimism is in the summer.

    On the
    first day of school these rubber erasers, pink and fresh, like promises,

    give way to the grubbier

    sandpaper forms of well-worn school supplies.

    As soon as class starts, they cave in like martyrs, like saints.

    It’s starting to smell like summer,

    It hits me when I think about him, and I’m worried, I’m concerned,

    he might forget me come the snow.



    Any thoughts/comments/criticisms would be greatly appreciated. Especially on the title, since I've had a hard time deciding on one. Thank you!
     
  2. I love this because it is simply real. I especially love the freckle part. Good job!
     
  3. osiris

    osiris Senior Member

    ah, but it is decay that ensures transformation, stability of nature, beauty of spirit. in all of our attempts to live forever we futiley stave off the recognition of our eternal essence.


    much love :)
     
  4. MistysFrosted

    MistysFrosted Member

    Very true, Osiris. I appreciate your commentary on so many of my pieces!:D
     
  5. Pablo

    Pablo Member

    the imagry in that brought back some memories, how it was at the end of the year of school, all the posibilites.
     

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