His Antipathy of Condoms

My honey tried masturbating with a condom so he could get used to it. He called me right after and said that the smell of it was incredibly disgusting and it almost made him sick. Putting on this stupid rubber thing was a huge turn off, and, not only that, but the idea of spermicide scares him and it seems he's decided to research it through and through.

He says he dislikes it so much perhaps to the point that he would avoid having sex to avoid the condom.
Discussing my taking the pill instead has not been discussed... and that stuff isn't what I want advice on. What I want to hear is whether you guys reacted similarly to this. (or girls--did your bf react this way?) (describe your reaction! no shirking on the details) How long did it take to get used to it?

Thanks

 

Then i would say get a new boyfriend that knows hot to use a condom. Or tell him not to be a wuss about it. Or he can buy the poyl ones.

OH and what's the deal with your PM's? Are you leading up to something? Or is this for school? I'm just curious.

 

he could try using a flavoured lube, those are scented sometimes as well. But they're more expensive.

Quite frankly, I'd drop him. If he hasn't used a condom in the past, how are you going to know he was safe before? I mean yeah, maybe he's a virgin but sometimes people lie about stuff like that. Have you gotten a doctor's report back that he's completely STD free? I honestly wouldn't trust someone with something like that until I had actual proof that they were safe. If he isn't willing to use a condom, would he pay for your birth control?

honestly it doesn't sound like he's willing to try hard enough to be with you to me. I wouldn't stay around, but that's just me.

 

*

 

okay..

*sigh*

thanks everyone for your concerns.

I'm not going to back down and have unsafe sex. I'm not feeling pressured. I'm not looking for support... He's not the kind of guy that manipulates in that way (give him the benefit of the doubt, okay?) we're very down-to-earth with each other. If he wants to have sex without a condom, he'll tell me. Now give me the benefit of the doubt.
What I want to know is what are your experiences with virgins and condoms? Don't give me these canned answers. I specifically and politely said what I wanted to hear, and what I didn't want to hear. If you're willing enough to read my post again, here is the part I want you to think about: "What I want to hear is whether you guys reacted similarly to this. (or girls--did your bf react this way?) (describe your reaction! no shirking on the details) How long did it take to get used to it?"

As I said, I really appreciate you taking the time to read and reply.

Unnecessary explanitory bit:
He's not really my boyfriend... we have an atypical relationship which is basically about being ourselves, grounded, centred, honest, and communicative. Sexuality is a part of us and thus a part of our relationship. So, if I want sex, and he won't give it to me under my conditions, I'll get it elsewhere. (I would tell him). I am no longer 14 and easily pressured and manipulated. Do you doubt that? If you do, your post will likely be irrelevant I request that you telepathically communicate it instead.

Oh and Unkle John, my apologies. Would you just forget all about those PMs.

 

Well, from the guys perspective, I've always kinda liked condoms. Its sorta pavlovian for me. My first partner was older than I and worked the condom into foreplay, so in my mind condom=sex and its a turnon. Maybe you could try putting it on for him and what not.

If its the smell hes not digging, try the plastic ones. To be honest, I've never heard of a guy not liking condoms to the point of not having sex over it, but maybe he's just really different.

I respect you holding strong on the safety issue, and I respect that you respect his feelings.

I hope all works out.

peace

 

why?

Unkle John, what's a poyl condom?
^lol that sounds funny

 

are latex and plastic the same thing?
what's the alternative?

 

smell?
i never noticed the smell...
but masturbating with them is a little silly.

but being disgusted by them? wierd

tell him to save his sperm in a bank and get a visectomy haha

 

well dont give in to him not using one. it took me many many years before i had the proper control to not use one. guys your age here the word "titties" and need to change thier shorts. a guy my age needs a dozen positions befoer he can get off.

 

(because thats what wayfaring was like when he finnished highschool)

 

Your "honey" sounds like a self-absorbed, selfish jerkoff. Sorry. He would avoid having sex to avoid using a condom? WTF?!

I have always been very pleased to be getting to have sex -- being willing to use a condom for both her and my benefit has never been a problem! Unwillingness on that count is just unforgivable.

Has your honey been living under a rock that he does not know there are NON-spermicidal condoms, which are just essentially latex with a little bit of powder in them? Try Trojan-Enz, which have a semen receptacle at the end (it's helpful). They are available non-lubed, which has no spermicide, or with spermicidal lubricant. If you need lube, use something independent of the condom, like Astroglide.

But I would really recommend instead getting a boyfriend who's not quite so thick-headed. I don't think he has much of a head for sex -- because I find that anything can be made "hot." I've been with girls who put the condom on me and took it off me afterward! That made it fuckin' fun! And putting a condom on and being gently squeezed by it is almost like having it in a vagina in the first place. It's fun, too!

He's being intransigent, and I don't think you should have to deal with that.

-Jeffrey

 

Ihmurria is ALWAYS RIGHT! Listen to this woman. Her last two lines say it all.

-Jeffrey

 

i hate condoms and always have a terrible time with them, the smell isnt so bad but the lack of sensation really kills the majority of my pleasure. i need a condom i can glue on the very tip of my head, so my cock can be free but without the wprries of pregnancy. if i was fucking someone randomly or fucking someone who doens tget tested after eveypartner, i'd wear a condom, but that situation hasnt ever really...arisen.

 

Could you enlighten us what "the proper control" required to not use a condom is?

How does "proper control" prevent disease transmission? Does one need to ejaculate in order to spread herpes? Genital warts?

Condoms are not solely about preventing pregnancy -- and, you can get a woman pregnant even if you pull out before you full-on ejaculate. You are constantly leaking fluid during the time you have an erection, and some of that may contain active sperm.

Maybe you are not as wise as you are trying to convince us you are? If I'm being too harsh, please explain where I'm wrong. What was the meaning of this "proper control" condom? Like you have reached some point where condoms are beneath you?

-Jeffrey

 

*

 

why do you hate everyone jeffery?

 

Well, if your boyfriend dislikes condoms to the point that he'd rather avoid having sex, then he'd better prepare himself for years and years of either limiting his sexual pleasure to masturbation or complete abstinance.

You have to tell him point-blank, "No glovin', no lovin'!" and stick with it. The era of guys having sex without condoms is OVER. Any guy who feels that wearing a condom is a blow to his masculinity is going to have to get over it, if he doesn't want to become a father before he's ready (both psychologically and financially) to be one -- AND he wants to stay healthy.

-- Skeeter

 

how can I make this more clear?

He is not trying to make me have sex without a condom. He's not trying to manipulate me. Even if he was, I am not going to do it.

Ihmurra is not always right, because she didn't even get my question.

This is about him getting over the smell of it and all that. So the suggestions of the condoms without spermicide was welcome! Thanks Jeffrey! And yes, he has been living under a rock.

 

Try the medical grade polyurethane aka Microsheer condoms. No smell, or taste(or so I've been told) plus there's more transfer of heat and sensation. They just plain feel better and they are stonger and less likely to break. The only real downside is that they are a bit more expensive(barely) but then again can you put a price on protecting you health while gaining more enjoyment from such a wonderful act?
I prefer Microsheer and the ladies I have used them with tell me that they prefer them as well. Give Microsheer a shot (pun not really intended).