His addiction

Discussion in 'Mental Health' started by Brand New Soul, Apr 4, 2007.

  1. Brand New Soul

    Brand New Soul Senior Member

    so ah I have no idea where to post this, but here seems good. My thoughts are kind of scattered so this might be a pain in the ass to read.

    My friend who I love dearly has got me worried. He does drugs and its not just mary jane... its hash, K, X, shrooms. God knows what else! The other day he did some K with his "friends". Obviously hes was really fucked up. He never went home he slept over at his friends house. The next day he was such an asshole to me ... I was so angry wanted to give it to him straight! But I knew it was only the drugs.

    Hes done things like this to me before... I mean where close real CLOSE... and he forgot my name!!!! He cant even type english, they arent minor mistakes either! I cant take it anymore.. Im a sensitive person and when someone hurts i hurt. I cant tell you how many nights I've cried over this. I need to tell him to STOP to grow up and to give a shit! But I dont want to say it meanly and I dont want to piss him off, but at the same time I want him to realize!

    So what Im asking for... is just a little advice on how to break it to him! I hope this isnt confusing! Thanks for any advice in advance!
  2. spooner

    spooner is done.

    People have to come to terms with their addictions on their own. All you can do is be supportive.

    But you don't have to put up with shit from him either.

    You're overworrying about hash and shrooms. Not really that big a deal (compared to weed). Ketamine and E are club drugs - dunno what to say about them. Neither is particularly addictive, and tend to be sort of a phase for most people.

    Take this for what its worth, dunno.
  3. neponiatka

    neponiatka Senior Member

    i think you cant do anything till he understands the nagative and destructive influence of drugs on him...

    when he realizes this then you can help him more actively

    and now the only way is to try to talk to him or if he takes this aggressively just be near and show from your own example, that life can be amazing without abusing one's mind with drugs...
  4. wiuf

    wiuf Member

    well, the only one of those drugs that could really even be considered a "big deal" is the K, and even that isn't so bad provided it doesn't become a frequent thing. drugs, even hardcore drugs, don't have to become a big deal, and the truth is it's his life. if you don't like it, let him know, but it's his prerogative and he has the right to do what he wants. even as his friend, who obviously has the very best of intentions and cares deeply about it, you really have no place telling him not to experiment with drugs.
  5. Brand New Soul

    Brand New Soul Senior Member

    Whos trying to tell him how to live his life? I simply want to tell him to stop hurting him self, not control him.
  6. wiuf

    wiuf Member

    you don't see the contradiction in what you just said??

    I'm not saying your intentions aren't pure. it's very sweet and caring. but he obviously wants to take drugs, which is a personal choice, and it's fine if you want to influence or persuade him, but you must understand that it is his body and ultimately it's for him to decide.
  7. Pepopstico

    Pepopstico Member

    WRONG !
  8. Faye

    Faye Member

    I have only really smoked weed once or twice but I have been around people when they do and weed is pretty harmless. As far as shrooms and the other stuff I dunno what to tell you. a habit becomes an additon when his mind or body starts to think that he NEEDS the drugs to LIVE AND COPE THEN IT IS AN ADDICTION. But in the end he is not a kid and you can't make his choices for him only he can do that. Most people I know who smoke pot regularly can stop or cut down on their use of it. A friend of mine who has a lot of issues inculding PSTD from childhood trauma used smoke and drop acid and trip on shrooms. I was really worried about him bc of how he was feeling emotionally. He stopped smoking so fucking much I mean he still smokes and drops acid but not as much because he is on meds for his depression. He made a choice to make his life better that is what your firend has to do. I think that your friend will come to a point where he realize he needs to grow the fuck up and he will ask for help but in till then all you can do is be there for him and tell him how you feel.
  9. Hobes

    Hobes Member

    no one will agree with me but i do not give a rat's ass.let him know he is hurting you, let him know it is hurting him self. be tough on him for it.
  10. Stillravenmad

    Stillravenmad Member

    First off, doing drugs is not his right. Right or wrong, all these drugs are illegal, and I don't know about Canada, but where I live in New York, they are EXTREMELY harsh on people who are caught with Special K. What might happen to him in prison just as much of a concern as what might happen to his body from using.

    If it bothers you, you are entitled to talk to him about it. However, people can be really defensive about drug use, and if you're too harsh about it, it won't help. So, at the very least, you have to be polite but firm about it. You also need to understand that he won't stop until he's ready to stop, so it's more important that you're there for him when he needs you.
  11. I understand how you feel, as I have experienced the same response in my relationship. Most posters on this site are defensive about their "rights" and their "drug of choice" and will offer little support to your (and my) plight. Contrary to popular belief, pot is not "harmless" and in fact, can be quite devastating to vulnerable individuals. A new study, released in an article on April 30th from Britain, shows that the THC levels in MJ can cause psychosis and schizophrenia in some individuals. One of the studies done was undertaken to show that MJ was helpful, not harmful, to self-medicating schizophrenics, but the results showed just the opposite. The scientists had to abort the study b/c "it would be unethical to continue."

    Your friend is in a self-destructive mode and you will be unable to reason with him, unfortunately. He will continue to abuse you, verbally (or whatever he is doing) and you can either ignore it (nearly impossible...otherwise you wouldn't have posted), stand by and watch helplessly, or move on. The latter is probably the healthiest in the long run and the most painful in the short term.

    I know. I'm there now.

    Good luck.
  12. Stillravenmad

    Stillravenmad Member

    That's not a new study. That's something we've known for awhile, at least in America. And pot doesn't actually cause schitzophrenia. We're not sure what causes it, except that it's usually genetic. Pot triggers the schitzophrenia that's in people who are already at risk, as does traumatic experiences.
  13. Star Cat

    Star Cat Member

    I've once had to deal with a friend of mine who had a serious problem, and as it wore on my friend got more and more vicious, more and more verbally abusive, and just more difficult to deal with, not just to me but pretty much anybody (except the ones who were in the same boat he was and told him what he wanted to hear). I feel your pain...

    I'm going to go ahead and share with you what I once had to learn the hard way myself. It wasn't at all easy, but in the end it's the right thing...

    It's a wonderful and caring thing for you to want to help and be supportive. He's very, very lucky to have someone like you, as you obviously see the damage that he is doing to himself and you're worried about him. You do have the right to try to tell him about your concerns, just try not to be too sharp about it because otherwise he'll most likely get defensive and not listen at all. But once you do, he may flip back and forth between not wanting to hurt people like you and his addiction.

    But... and this is the hardest part... if despite all your support and your best efforts and watching, if he doesn't want help, and if things only continue to get worse, this is where what Tullamorning Dew said above comes into play.

    As you deal with him, be sure to keep one eye on what the situation is emotionally doing to you as well. When you yourself are worn out and emotionally (and maybe even physically from the stress) exhausted, and if this one individual whom you call your friend is only getting worse without showing any signs of wanting any help whatsoever, then that might be the time when you'll want to tell him in a genuinely caring way without getting mad at him something along these lines: "Listen, I know you have the right to do whatever it is you want to do. But I can't continue to watch you do this to yourself. It's scaring me, it's hurting me to watch, and it's too much for me to deal with. I care about you very much, and I hope you'll be able to find the strength to deal with your addiction, but I'm afraid I just can't keep sticking around and hoping you'll get better. For my own sake, I need to get on with my life and get away from this. If you should ever decide that you want to get help and need someone who will support you while you do so, you know where to find me."

    And as you walk away at that moment, keep in mind the best you can that you may have just provided him with the ultimate motivation to face his addicition and to seek help before it's too late.

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