Do you receive criticism from others on the way you choose to raise your children? What differences have you noticed from your morals and your parenting vs. the conventional? :2thumbsup:
I don't receive much criticism but if i do it usually comes from my inlaws. They will seldom give criticism directly in my face but you can see in the way they react (bodylanguage or little remarks) that they don't approve. Regarding morals, we try to raise the kids in a way they learn to have respect for others and other peoples properties. To be nice and kind to people. This seems conventional but if you look at some kids these days and how they act, our way of raising kids seems unconventional. We also have no problems with nudity (to some agree ofcourse) and we try to teach our kids that you don't have to be ashamed of your body. So during hot summer days we swim naked and walk through the house naked. Another thing is that we try to make them understand that they are valuable for who they are and not for what they have (owning an Iphone, laptop, big car is not a must). Which is sometimes hard cause it seems that even 8 year olds are walking around now with smartphones and Ipads.
me and my younger sister are raising her baby,because she is to young to take care of him alone,when she got pregnant she was extremely young and im 18 and she lives with me in my home,we both try to give her son a very free feeling home,we dont let him use electronics very often and we also to try to show him skin is nothing to be ashamed of,he goes on the computer for maybe an hour every almost 3 weeks,were very open about being nude and often we too will walk around naked,we try tp punish him very little,of course hes only 4 so he doesnt do much wrong,and he learns about many things kids his age dont and wont know about for a while,we look at it as preparing a mini adult to enter the world soon,and we dont lie to him rather help him understand the truth like for questions like "where do babys come from" or "whos santa" we have a very open family dinamics and many ppl around us like other family members disagree.
My own family despaired at first especially as I was only 18 and still at school when my oldest daughter was born and my labourer dad in particular couldn't get his head round my whole lifestyle but rather than lose his little girl he's gradually accepted me for who I am (can't be arsed to do a war and peace life story right now but feel free to read my other posts and you'll see I've embraced a number of alternative lifestyles!) I'm known as the barefoot mum with other parents and teachers but that hasn't stopped me helping out as teaching assistant at ny younger daughter's school and some other teachers are also of a similar mindset, if not taking it to the same level as me or hippie lite as I call it! Like only wearing flip-flops in a heatwave and thinking it's radical bless them!
The worst was from the mom in law. Everything I did was wrong. I had PND with my first LO and she kind of took over, it was like her and my husband were mom and dad and I missed all the joy of his first year. The problem is she tried to carry on with my other kids. She tried to talk to my midwife and convince her my breastfeeding was a problem, she always told me my christmas presents were inappropriate, she even said she'd report me for child abuse for bringing up our kids veggie. In the end I told my husband it was her or me, so he had a word and things have calmed down since then. I also got some very odd looks carrying our daughters in their slings as babies! As if that was unnatural. People don't have a clue!
I was part of Amatol an alternative communitie in very northern Canada. My parents were like hippies and I have no reason to complain. I think I am more stable and sane than most people. I also have peace in my life because I know when problems are bad I can always leave and go back to the forest.
No, can't say so (at least to my face that is) My girls have been given the freedom to express themselves in a productive and positve manner - just as my parents allowed me to do
I have constant arguements with my fucking MIL as to my alternative parenting style with my two boys, however my mum is very supportive thank god. My MIL criticises my lack of parenting discipline, the fact I let my boys go barefoot everywhere, and the way I let them have alot of freedom around the house and the bloody neighbourhood. I am completely laid back with my 3 and 5 year olds, they jump on our furniture and play anywhere they fucking want in our small cul de sac street. Often they do damage to neighbours gardens, which I shake my head at and giggle. When we go shopping I dont have a problem with them running round the supermarket aisles. Because both my bf and I swear alot at home they follow suit, the eldest boy gets told off at school constantly for his swear words - I just shrug my shoulders and smile. For me its neat that they can express themselves, I certainly dont want to stop them from having any fun!:devil:
My father and mother-in-law constantly get on me about the ways I raise my children. I am actually having an issue right now with the whole 'santa' and 'easter bunny' things. Once I learned of them as a child I never felt right about passing that tradition onto my children. I have done the whole Santa thing with my oldest who is four but this year was the first year she really grasped the concept and it took everything I had not to face her and tell her Happy Holidays from Mahma. I don't know how to handle Easter either. My family is pretty religious but I am not, at all, and I do not feel right acceptingthese gifts nor giving them Easter Bunny gifts when I am not goingto teach them the Christian story about Easter's meaning. If I went to my family and told them I will not be participating in religious holidays with my children they will flip out, nor do I want to seem like I am keeping my children from family on their important days..
Not really. It can be hard when you feel like you have to explain why you don't want your child to get a vaccine, or why you let them dress however they want, or why you feed them kale brownies, etc..... But sometime a few years ago I just stopped feeling like I had to explain. If someone asks I will tell them - I'm not ashamed by anything! - but I am really not here to impress or force my values on anyone. Right now I am focused on bringing up our children to be conscious and kind. I would rather lead by gentle example than smash people's faces into things. And if someone feels like they need to critique the way we parent, fine, but don't be mad when I totally ignore your advice! My parents are actually pretty laid back people too and have recently started to live a more natural and tolerant lifestyle as well. I would like to think that part of that is having me as a daughter but I think that our country as a whole is changing for the better in some of those ways.:daisy:
My children are grown, some with kids of their own. I have nothing to say to them about how they raise their kids. I want nothing but their happiness and what makes happy is a personal matter.
I wouldn't say 'criticize' they just don't understand our parenting style. My husband is veeery laid back, super peaceful, (very much the personality I strive to have.) He deals with the kids in a calm way, asks 'why' when they do bad things. As Christians we try to instill good morals, so no swearing in our house. but we teach the kids that Christ first and foremost taught love. Love everyone, treat everyone with respect, we're all created beautifully, despite our differences. I homeschool, as does my sister - she's very "structured" (having been a teacher before a sahm) I however am much looser, and like to teach organically what I can. Peace, -Niff
I'm worried about how I'm going to deal with religion when my child is born. I'm not religious, but I was raised in a Baptist church and I live in the south. At some point my brother or my great-aunt or my religious friends with children or a school friend will invite my child to church. Its inevitable. I'm not going to forbid my child to go to church because I think everyone should have the right to choose....but at the same time, churches essentially use brain washing tactics on children. How am I going to respond when my child comes home convinced of all these childish religious ideas? I think the best thing may be to take my child to other churches in the area...a Vedic temple, a Unitarian church, a buddhist temple, a jewish synagogue, and just try to expose my child to as many different religions as possible to make it clear that they all have value but they are all neither right nor wrong. Or this could end up confusing my child more than anything lol...anyone else have any experience in this?
You are fully entitled to say no when your brother or religious friends invite your kid to their church. That's what I would do I would certainly not drag my kid to all kinds of religious centres if it does not feel like it. And I am very openminded to religion. I'd just raise it as a normal kid, which means give it some sense on what is common practice in your country (like take him to church with eastern or christmas for example) and not impose any dogma's on him (atheist or religious). I have only experience as a kid myself and of course observation
