Hey check this out...

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Midget, Jun 1, 2004.

  1. Midget

    Midget Senior Member

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    Here's a poem I wrote for my US History class a few days ago...enjoy. Please comment...Peace!

    _____________________________________________________________________

    Hippys

    Sex, Drugs, Rock ā€˜nā€™ Roll,
    Split a country once whole.
    One group supporting the War,
    Divided the country even more.
    Hippys wanting Peace and Love,
    Pushed away from Establishment,
    With a mighty shove!

    Materialistic the Hippys were not.
    Living in Communes,
    Sharing whatever They got.
    All They needed They had,
    The Communes were harmonious
    And the Hippys were glad.

    Long Hair
    Colorful Clothing
    Hippys were often a target
    Of Working Class loathing.
    All They wanted was Peace and Love,
    They could care less, about what Mainstream culture
    Thought about their hair or the way they dress.





     
  2. borut16

    borut16 Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    Hey,
    it's allright but the rhytme just doesn't flow too nice.
    Maybe you should read it loudly and see where it doesn't sound the way it should and then change that?

    It's quite good, anyway.

    As for the message, I don't quite agree with it, but let's leave that alone now.

    So yea, it's allright, but maybe you should improve it a little bit, but that's just a 'maybe'.

    Love,
    Borut
     

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