Here's how it is, Read if you want to get to Heaven

If your beliefs do not fit within the narrow definitions of Christianity, you will burn in hell for all of eternity. If you are not 100 percent Christian, your soul will go to hell and burn forever in the fires of eternal damanation!! Repent, get saved now, before it's too late!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I have dibs on the Penthouse suite at 1 Satan Lane then.

(laughs ... --no, wait-- laughs manaically ...)

 

Do not judge a wave by it's foam.


Blessings

Sebbi

 

Foam is made of Bubbles!!!

 

LMAO I must get extra points for not even believing in hell.

Was a perfect Christian once mind you .... at four months old.

 

Hahaha, I was a perfect christian too, I made the huge decision when I was three years old. Such a big decision for such a young child.

 

!

heeeey! that was gonna be my home! dammit.

 

In the spirit of true religious love and charity, I command you to change your personal spiritual beliefs immediately, and believe exactly whatever I decide is the correct interpretation of whichever one of the multitude of scriptures in the world that I say is the ONE TRUE RELIGION.
If you refuse to believe me, I am compelled to warn you, the most hideous tortures that the worst criminal minds that ever lived will be enacted upon your person for no less than a googleplex to the power of a googleplex millenia. That is a fairly long time, I might add.

 

We can share, if you like! =)

 

Sharing? In hell? Not bloody likely.

I tell you what, you have to earn your station in eternal damnation.
I have been working on it for years, here is an example.

"Hey satan, you bonehead....are you still as wimpy a little suck as ever? You are such a chickenshit coward that it makes me laugh. Why don't you go stick your head in a toilet and flush it, you loser. I would do it for you, but you are such a total scaredy cat that I can't find you. I dare ya to come see me face to face, just you and me, mono a mono. You can't run forever, I'll catch ya someday you candy ass jerk."

There, that should earn me a pretty good address in the pit of fire.

 

Replace the word "satan" with "God" and your on your way

 

Why don't you just do what I plan on doing? That is, make an attempt to assassinate Satan, and then if you fail, just boast about how if it were anyone else, they'd be dead, and then tell Satan that you're a man of big dreams and big places, and one day you'll have both his head and God's on a trophy rack. He might even make you the General of Hell's Armada. =)

 

I am with ya, okay, we have to come up with a plan. He is likely to be pretty hard to kill. I think we will need to combine all the anti-monster devices. A wooden stake, silver bullets, a crucifix, holy water, and garlic wreaths to start.
That is all I can think of, please add, and suggest our course of action.

 

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU GOD! Wait, I am God.

 

which version of christianity do you speak of?

 

god, tell us about the ultimate spiritual orgasm

 

is it even possible to get in heaven? i suppose it depends which version of heaven we're talking about

 

i hate people like you

 

I'd prefer hell... I'd rather listen to good music for all eternity than harp crap.

 

Relax! Can't you see it was just a joke? Read all the posts here and you'll see.