Her secret and mine

I once read a comment from a transgender woman who said she was interested in dating men, but of course she could not be a top or versatile. I understood what she was saying since being a bottom is the traditional role we assign to women.

My own experience with my girlfriend is the complete opposite and probably somewhat unique. As feminine as she is (and she is very feminine), she loves her penis and has only been a top her entire life. She has zero interest in being a bottom even as a one time experiment.

That being said, she keeps this fact about herself a secret from everyone. She is proud of being a transgender woman but no one must know that she is a top. Not even her closest gay and transgender confidants know this about her. She says everyone assumes that she is a bottom and she says nothing to the contrary. She is content to have it this way.

Of course it is her right to have her sexual role remain a secret and I respect her wishes but there’s something sad about it to me. Likewise I don’t tell anyone that I am a bottom since no one would understand how a straight man can be a bottom by choice.

I guess I could say that I wish our society and culture were different and more accepting but I seriously doubt that will ever happen. Even if it becomes acceptable for a man to have a relationship with a transgender woman (as it should be), it’s probably too big a leap to expect that a switch in sexual roles would ever be acceptable. I think my girlfriend is wise in keeping this aspect of her life a secret.

 

I think it happens more than you realise behind closed doors.

 

Our culture would be different and more accepting right now if it weren't for the right-wing war against lgtbq people, particularly the transgender community.

 

I have to admit the idea of a preop (referring to current state of genitalia, not any necessity or plan for genital reconstructive surgery) transgender woman being a top in a heterosexual relationship is a bit counterintuitive to me, maybe even a little weird. But if that works for a particular couple I won't judge. I'll be happy they're happy doing their thing while I look for my thing that will make me happy.

 

I have to admit that it’s weird for me too. I don’t understand why I like it so much. It’s a good thing that there are people like my girlfriend and me who match each other even if it is strange and out of the norm.

 

I am only attracted to women. I am not attracted to men and I have never been with a man nor do I want to. To me my girlfriend is a woman even though she has a cock. I am incredibly attracted to her and I love it when she fucks me.

 

Actually she never decided to change to a girl. Even when she was three or four years old she had long hair, dressed in girl clothes and referred to herself as a girl. Her family treated her as a girl. So as long as she can remember she has been a girl. If I am bi or gay I don’t care - I love her.

 

Although she displays feminine aspects while having male genitals she has a personality where she feels better being in control. Therefore being on top during sex puts her in control. If you think about it this isn't strange at all. She has taken control of who she is by holding to her feminine traits without regard to what others may think or feel. Fortunately for her she has been supported all her life by those close to her. She will have her feminine body everywhere but the genital area. She will enjoy the pleasure her male genitals brings to her body and mind. She's just not going to flaunt it to the world.
Escierto on the other hand identifies as a male. Likes being called male and goes so far as to insist he is straight without any gay tendencies. It's a defense mechanism to support his personality which is submissive. I expect he is very straight until it comes to having sex with her or anybody else. Then he accepts she has male genitals and being submissive enjoys being the bottom in the relationship or giving pleasure to her in her way. Had she had female genitals with the controlling personality Escierto would still be happy to be controlled or submissive with her. His submissive personality traits respects and supports her and their relationship.

 

Regardless of sex or sexual orientation, anal sex is enjoyable but not everyone is interested in or enjoys it. Some people enjoy anal only. My wife no longer enjoys vaginal sex, only anal. I am no longer interested in pussy. Escierto is a very lucky man. A beautiful girlfriend who has a cock instead of a dildo to satisfy him. Best of luck to both of you for many years to come.

 

Wow, I read your analysis and it is very good. I think that is probably the best description that I have ever read of our relationship. Thank you!

After I go back and read it again, it’s kind of hot lol. The dominant woman and the submissive man. Hmmmmm, nice.

 

No I am not Spanish but I can speak Spanish.

Well all my life I have thought that I was straight but maybe I am not. I guess if you want a cock even if it’s attached to someone like my girlfriend, you are not a straight guy.

 

You are a fortunate man, Escierto. She's a very pretty girl, with or without a penis.

 

I realize how lucky I am to be with her and I take care of her every way a man can take care of a woman.

 

Being attracted to transsexuals is definitely not gay. From my readings on the subject, gay men are not attracted to them. Apparently straight men are the ones most attracted to transsexuals. I consider myself pretty much gay but still find women attractive, just not so much in a sexual way anymore. I am attracted to transsexuals but prefer flat chested. I guess my ultimate attraction is a CD with a beautiful face and no body hair.

 

Her photo above is a little misleading in the chest area. That’s her bra padding skill. Au naturel:

 

Wow! She is one sexy lady. For what it's worth, she doesn't need to pad. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a flat chest. Contrary to what people think, large breasts are not loved by everybody. Small to flat chests are currently popular and growing ever more so. Natural is always better. She IS a beautiful woman and she doesn't NEED breasts unless it gives her a psychological boost by having them.

 

If you are happy, then that is all that counts in my books.

 

Everything you have said, I have said. I would not change a hair on her head but I have come to realize that breasts are important to her to affirm her femininity. So this year she will get them. Not too big lol

 

I find this to be an interesting difference of opinion that comes up for discussion periodically.
On one hand, if person (A) who self identifies as straight...but, has an attraction to, or even further, sexual relations with another person (B) who has the same genitalia regardless of self identifying as a woman...then person (A) is still either Bi or Gay.

On the other hand, if straight men are attracted to trans women...then how can they still be considered as "straight?"

I see the point in both perspectives.
I consider my self identity as a straight male mainly because I live a straight lifestyle. From all outward appearances, I'm straight as an arrow...however...my sexual orientation is Bisexual. I consider myself to be a Straight/Bisexual.
If a trans woman identifies as a woman, and is only attracted to and therefore has sex with only men (regardless of how the other men identify)...then can she be considered straight or is she still bisexual or gay?
My understanding is gay men are attracted to masculinity...and therefore it stands to reason as to why they are not attracted to trans women even though they're both biologically the same. So in that respect, if you are attracted to femininity...you're not gay.
It is my personal opinion that a man can identify as straight...however, if he has sexual relations with another person who has the same biological genitalia, then he cannot be considered heterosexual. Having an attraction to a trans woman who is obviously feminine...would still be considered Bisexual.

Myself...I'm attracted to femininity. I am not attracted to masculinity...but I do enjoy gay sex.

Profound and thought provoking...indeed.
It brings to question...the roles of being a Top, Bottom, Versatile... and variances between the three.

Escierto,
You mentioned that your GF is a dominant top and has never had a desire to bottom. Have you ever tried any kind of anal stimulation with her...a finger, a toy or maybe rimming her? Also...does she assist in getting you off or are you on your own?

I find it interesting that tops aren't always dominant, bottoms aren't always submissive and being versatile is something all together different...in my opinion.
I am also of the opinion that a good top knows what it feels like to be a bottom and vice versa. The old saying "don't knock it till you try it" comes to mind.