Hence the name CHILD SUPPORT

Does "child support" mean like shoes or a stick the kid can lean onto?

 

And if the supporting custodial roles were reversed?
(including cast of characters/ situations - ie: not the specific quote above)

nvm - it can't happen as this thread's inferred Absolutes state

• men = deadbeat/ guilty/ bad
• women = martyr/ innocent/ good

I suppose I've been Living a Dream...
not R/L by any stretch of the Imagination.

Now all I have to do is convince my kids of these revelations.


Any more?
Feels like it's gonna be free shot day all day long...

 

Where's that thread about needing to take a test before you have kids...
Eveyone could go argue over there now....?


Suffice it to say, people are wayyy fucked up, both genders...Our system, created by fucked up people, is worse.

 

it wouldn't have been reversed, dad abandoned us. he WAS a deadbeat, guilty, bad person. however, i have several friends (one family) who lived with their father whose mother had to pay support, despite the fact that she could hardly afford a place to live (cry me a river, bitch). she was a whore, basically. i mean, literally and figuratively. and to be honest, from personal experience, i've met very few fathers who actually wanted custody of their children full time. too hard.

 

Im a dad, divorced, never had to be court ordered to pay a dime, I pay for anything asked for and with pride and happiness. My doors are open 24hrs a day for my kids, anything they want Im there. One lived with me and the other with his mother, they got to choose and know Im always there for em.

There are plenty of mothers who abuse the system of support and use it for money to screw around with but again there are plenty of mothers who care for thier children as well as fathers. There are also pieces of shit that have not right to breed but did and thier children suffer now.

 

Second wife view point. We paid child support for the first 14 years of our marriage. I had no complaint paying the support my complaint was how the money was spent. In our case there was a huge misuse of $ being spent other places.

 

then you're very much like my own husband, which is fantastic. but as we both know, the human race has an incredible variety of entities within it. you shouldn't take a statement on deadbeat fathers to be a personal attack. not everything is about you.

 

Im not the center of the world, oh the horror of it all! LOL

 

hehehe. that was stupid bitchy. i didn't mean it to sound like that. what i was actually intending to say is that while i know for a fact that there are brilliant and wonderful dads out there, i also know that there are dad out there who don't give a shit, and to comment on that fact is not an attack on good fathers, but a pointing out that bad fathers exist. therefore, it is not an attack on you, but a differentiation.

 

Nah did not think for a moment you were bitchy, I took it as you meant it, the smart ass in me came out and took over for a moment. Im funny in my own little world and sadly for the rest I end up with an audience once in a while.

 

HA. well, i think i'm hilarious, too.

 

I think this thread has gone remarkably off track...even for random thoughts.

so let me clarify... I know this guy and he has several children, all of which he takes care of (child support and being their father). One child lives with her mother less than 3 miles away from him. The mother has no other children and makes a pretty penny. The kid is a brat but that's a whole nother topic. Anyway, as soon as school lets out the kid stays with her dad until school is back in. The mother still expects child support payments during these three months and he pays it. I just don't think its right. I see what lynsey's point about shelter expenses but i'm not saying she should pay him support. If the kid is using lights, cable, eating, and getting all of her summer entertainment from her dad, why can't the mom suck up the mortgage? It evens out because her food, light, and kid entertainment bills have been reduced by the kid's absence. It's a wash.

Anybody who knows me knows that I'm pro-child support and think that "making sure the money is spent directly on the kid" is bullshit, but COME ON. this chick is being greedy

 

I shall fear this as Iam about to oppose one tough cookie but here it goes (covers his nuts and braces for attack)

Why do you feel that money that is intended for the child and not to be wasted on other items should not have to be accounted for. If one was a trustee for another they would have to account for it and since the goverment forced payment and some are insane amounts should the parent who is recieveing said funds not have to account for its use?

They claim (and its BS) that the amount used to raise the child is supposed to be equal shares but since when if a father is paying $500 a month or more for a kid and also has the child on his health insurance is it viable that it would take $1000 a month to raise a child if the amount was supposed to be equal? You and I both know it does not take that amount to raise a child and you find out that the child is needing shoes, clothes ect becuase the money you are sending is bieng used for a new car payment, a jet ski payment and when they (the ex wife and her new hubby and no this is not my issue it is a friends) wanted another toy they sought to raise the support amount.

I believe if you have custody of the child you are the childs parent and also its trustee, you should have to have a break down complete with proof of what the money was used for and any extra balance should be put into an account in the childs name for later use for the child or for college. The amount for expenses should be based on a 50/50 split, if you determine that the extra bedroom to have the child cost you say $200 extra a month then out of the $500 should come $100, food ect the same.

Alot of women get robbed but others, hell they are cleaning up, there are some guys who hooked up and made the mistake of getting the girl knocked up and because they were well off are paying well over $3,000 a month to a woman who was nothing more than a teller at a bank. So the law thought it would require a woman who makes less than $2,000 a month needed an added $3,000 a month for half of the childs support, I mean yes its rare but get real. An account for every penny is seriously needed in these cases and the left over be the childs not the mother or fathers to blow off.

 

I have a kid's father who pulls that 'the money should be used for the kid' bullshit. he feels that he has the right to count my money. He feels that I don't have the right to get my hair done or do anything for myself because he pays child support. Little does he know what money i do and do not have. But he runs around telling people that his $300 a month child support pays all my bills therefore if I get my hair done or buy a pair of shoes, i'm taking away from his son. how dare I have guys at my house that he pays the rent on . Its bullshit. Anybody that has a kid day in and day out knows that you spend money on that kid all the time. So just because he pays 300 doesn't mean that i have to buy my son 300 dollars worth of clothes, toys, and treats a month. that boy has what he needs, if he doesn't then his dad has a legit beef but otherwise, he can kiss my ass. Having a kid by someone doesn't make that person my financial keeper. I don't dictate how he spends his money as long as fulfills his obligation so he shouldn't dictate how i spend mine as long as i fulfill my obligation to feed, clothe, and shelter his son. its a control issue

 

but child support by law is supposed to be an equal division of the support for the child thus if you recieve $300 a month from the father you are to match those funds in theory to total $600 a month from that number is supposed to come out the amount spent to feed the child, provide shelter, personal needs ect. If you were a trustee for an individual you would have to account for everything and why should money that was set up to provide for the child not be used strictly for that purpose? I dont mean buy then crap but rather after required shared expenses the balance should be in an acount for that child for the possible future needs like special needs for school ect. The money is not there to take care of the mother or the father, that would be spouse support.

 

I can feel her rage all the way over here and its really gonna hurt bad!

 

so I guess I should walk around and count how many times my son cuts on the lights, weigh his food before he eats it, count how many squares of toilet paper he uses, measure out how much laundry detergent it takes to wash JUST his clothes, add a half a cent every time he use s a paper towel, measure how much water he uses to bathe everyday, note the meter usage before and after i vacuum his room....etc.

sound ridiculous? it is. cause all that stuff gets done whether his dad pays or not. his dad was made to pay child support by the courts when my son was 2. Prior to that, he paid nothing and had no job for my son's first year of life. Back support was set at 60 bucks a month because of this. The price of diapers didn't reduce because his father didn't pay and yet..my son always had them. I don't know anybody that can take care of a baby completely for 120 a month so the money had to come from some where....ummmm....ME! I don't know what goes on in your state but here support is a percent of your income. I , as the custodial parent, don't have the percentage luxury...if he needs it, I gotta get it. End of story

 

but again the short falls of the support by the father like you said should be held against the father meaning he should owe you more to cover for his short falls.


Im not saying it will be ever done Im saying in a perfect world this is how it should be. In a perfect world of this he should have been man enough to see the hardship he put upon you and the child and made good for you two. I believe there should be an estimated value of things and yeah becuase of waste. I do not think a little mommy time from time to time is not needed like a little gift now and then but reasonable is out of the question as any kid growing up that loves there parent would like to do something special now and then for them.

I do think that if a woman wants to keep a child and the man did not want the child he should have the option to sign away his rights to the child as he does not have the right to decide on the outcome of the womans choice to keep a baby or yeah. If he did not want a child but shit happens then either he forfiet his rights or pay the piper.

Yup my views here are gonna fetch me a killing from ya Im sure.

I commend any single parent its a tough job and any parent not holding up there end is a disgrace but reality is it happens alot.

Your childs dad has no right to your money matters but the childs money and that is what it is would be another story but you have the right to set value for his shelter, his food you feel he eats and value for his personal needs and value of his share of your care for the child, meaning if you were not caring for the child some one would have to and so since you are caring for his son, you should have an amount of compensation comming too, so since your not working outside the home that makes you a full time mommy so $$ for you to be a mommy. In the end without a job the $300 he sends is short.

 

this is gonna be my last post on this:

perfect world logic never works cause its never gonna be a perfect world. the world is as it is and folks gotta deal with it as is. I personally deal in bottom lines. Bottom line, the kid is taken care of, his dad pays his support. I'm doing the best I can, I'm assuming that he is too. Bottom line, if you don't want kids, don't fuck. That's how I operate, hence all the damn kids i got. my current boyfriend knows that, knew it before this kid came, I don't believe in abortion. that was a choice, good or bad, a choice. I should have never had sex if i wasn't ready to deal with the possible outcome. That's anything. if you make a choice and get a outcome you didn't want, oh well, you knew it was possible. so as much as i may bitch and moan, I don't blame. my kids' fathers are assholes but I should've thought of that before i had sex with them so now I have to deal with it. Don't have to like it, but deal with it. I am ultimately responsible for my life.

why should anyone else be different?

 

Well that was not my intention to make her mad but knew it would, I guess I shall keep my views to myself, day late dollar short of an idea now but I learned.