Help! Unabe to penetrate her

Discussion in 'Genitalia' started by bobby80, Apr 21, 2013.

  1. bobby80

    bobby80 Guest

    Since a couple of weeks I'm in a relationship with a very nice girl. All is great but there's just one significant problem with the sex. She's practically a virgin (she's just 18, I'm older and more experienced). So far I haven't been able to penetrate her. We've tried many positions, lubrication and I've pushed really hard without success.

    When I try to penetrate her, she quickly tenses up her legs and vagina and it becomes impossible to enter. I tried to do it with my finger and even then it is very difficult. It feels very tense to get in, I can only enter about one third and she cannot hold my finger in for more than a minute or so. She experiences pain, but my impression is that the pain isn't enormous, but she isn't very clear on that.

    I tried to relax her more with some breathing and relaxing exercises, tried alcohol, but it doesn't seem to make that much difference. She was penetrated before by another guy when she was really drunk and could finally relax.

    I asked her about her background to find out why it could be like this. She told that she didn't have abuse but when she grew up many boys were interested in having sex with her and she had to say no many times because she wasn't ready. She thinks that must have closed her pussy. Now she is ready but her pussy is still closed.

    We both really want to solve this problem but don't know exactly how. I've now told her to practice by herself with her finger to get inside while remaining more relaxed.

    Can anybody, especially the ladies, help us with this? Any tips are more than welcome! That would be really awesome.

  2. scratcho

    scratcho Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Jaws of Life.
  3. silk896

    silk896 Member

    Only an idea, because I have had no real experience with your problem.

    My way would be forget about actual penetration for while.
    Don't make it the raison d'etre of your "making out."
    make love to the rest of her. Kissing works wonders with women! She has this thing called a clitoris. Do heaps of stuff with that! Kiss her all over, massage her (non-sexually moving to sexually)
    make her feel sexy without fixating upon penetration.
    A little bit of oral, hand jobs, blow jobs, playing strip-Scrabble etc.

    Take your time. Almost start again.

    Just be gentle and kind.
  4. tricky69

    tricky69 Member

    why the hell are you trying to force something/anything into a hole that is trying to push it out ..dumbass ! obviously your experience isnt as good as you thought , or you wouldnt be asking such stupid questions. Tell the poor girl to get a new "lover" would be the smartest thing to do before you give her problems for life
  5. PineMan

    PineMan Senior Member

    I would advise spending more attention to foreplay & manual stimulation in order to get her aroused. It's not only the male genitalia that increase in size when aroused. Most people are aware of the clitoris becoming erect & increasingly sensitive, but the labia can also become noticeably swollen, often with the pink labia minora presenting themselves outwards in readiness to accept the penile penetration. Some women take longer to reach this state than others, making penetration far more of a problem if it's not fully prepared.
  6. creampie00

    creampie00 If you can't DODGE it....RAM it!

    Listen to what all these people are telling you, it is true, if she is totally turned on, you should have no problem getting it in there. Take some foreplay time so when it comes time to "insert" she will be ready. Or use some lube if all else fails.
  7. desert-rat

    desert-rat Senior Member

    Assuming this is not a troll post , i would say to do some 69 the next few times , then maby let her get on top . All the women I have met have been used a bit before I met them so I have never had this kind of problem .
    Let me know if you dont know what 69 is .
  8. bobby80

    bobby80 Guest

    @tricky:smash:: What a funny boy you must be, hahahaha. FYI: Maybe it's because she wants to have my dick inside and is saying over and over: push it harder!!!!! push it harder!!!!! Next time, take a moment before farting out bullshit about that what you don't know shit about.

    @rest: Thanks for the suggestions, it's not a matter of being turned on enough, believe me, we are turned on. We're also having an excellent time without penetration. Actually I think it's even better (more BJ's and so on).

    After doing more research I found out it's probably a medical condition called "Vaginismus" and that there is a device called a "Vaginal Dilator" that could help. I hope this information helps other people. It's totally not a problem for us both, but obviously a dick should be able to go in (and she wants it badly) so she's going to visit a doctor.
  9. bobby80

    bobby80 Guest

    LOL, did I really come across as such a rookie? Haha. This is a funny forum, got to spend some more time here!

    Sorry, can't stop laughing.
  10. odonII

    odonII O

    Probably should have done some research before posting your original post.

    Problems resolved.

  11. Touch of Eros

    Touch of Eros Member

    Bobby my boy? If I may be so bold, the only info any of us have is what you have given us. And from that, you sound either like a troll or a rookie. I'm going to go with rookie so that we can try to like you. So. If you would like us to know the back story, so that you don't sound incompetent, arrogant, and inexperienced, you might want to tell us. So that, you know, you don't sound incompetent, arrogant, or inexperienced...

    ...On the off-chance that you show up again...
  12. odonII

    odonII O

    Well, the same question was posted on atleast four forums with pretty much the same response...I doubt the chap will be back here, given there isn't anything further to add.
  13. PineMan

    PineMan Senior Member

    'Funny Forum'? Perhaps. But one thing I can say is this ever since I first joined Hip Forums I've found them to be, on the whole, a very friendly & helpful community each with their own character traits.

    I'm not saying that your post was intended to be trollish in its nature, but we have all come to accept that many posts, especially when made by new members, can tend to be troll orientated, but even when this is the case they can often inadvertently raise questions that may assist others, so a sensible response can backfire on the troll.
  14. Hoping this is not a trolling thread...

    Had this years ago with my first real girlfriend when we both were 15. Wasn't a lubrication/foreplay issue either, as we made out big time before any pants came off, so she was thoroughly soaked prior to any entry attempts. For a couple months - trying once a week - I only got the head in. Then a little while later, the head and some shaft, which that went on for a few weeks.

    She'd get sore after numerous tries per attempt and I'd back off.

    One Friday after school before her parents got home from work, I finally got it all in there. No cum though, as it was tighter than a vise. I remember thinking, "So this is it? This is the supposed greatness of sex? Bullshit on this overrated crap!"

    But, maybe a month or two later it was stretched enough to where I could pump it and cum. Then a few weeks later, she started discovering her own happy places - clitoris and g-spot and she got hers each and every time we did it.

    The above detailed timeframe was October 1990 to May 1991. In hindsight, one hell of an effort! But, we were young and didn't know anything. I was happy to get it at that age so I wasn't going to turn it into an issue and possibly jeopardize my progress. You know the deal when you're young - make any waves and those panties aren't coming off for a LONG time.

    However, during those failed attempts, I do remember my balls being super sore where I'd have to go home and pump it out myself and it came out like some massive viscous slop at the temperature of probably near core magma. She was nowhere near ready for oral or handjobs...yet, she was okay for screwing, which the risk was far greater comparatively. Oh well. Young Catholic girl she was, so take the good with the bad, I guess. Now she has 3 kids, divorced and probably 80 pounds heavier. WOOF! Good thing I got it when it was in shape!

    Alright, I'm blathering on here, so rant over.
  15. Cutted

    Cutted Cutted

    She has issues with intercourse, probably from a bad experience. Try to get her relaxed - perhaps some pot? And a lot of foreplay...

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