Help required for approaching a crush

I'm 25 and have huge crush on this girl who is 29. We were working in the same office.I guess she also likes me as I caught here staring me several times. Also she was the first to start the conversation most of the times when we met.

But when I asked the reason for staring, she got tensed and said there is nothing like that and I'm like her younger brother. But I think, she said this in stress because she might have thought I was complaining and I'm younger than her. But I'm not sure about this. How can I approach her to know her true feelings? Or do I need to drop idea of approaching her at all as she hitted me like a brother. I like her very much.

 

Ok, dev. Here's what you should do. Approach her and try to ask her to coffee. This will get the message that you are interested. Also, have a backup plan if she doesn't like the coffee idea (or if you don't like coffee, you'll want to do something else). Instead, offer to take her somewhere casual. Maybe something close to where you work. I know the last place I worked went out to lunch like it was a tradition or something. There was a woman who I thought was mildly attractive, but I never asked her to do anything. I guess I wasn't that interested. But the point is sometimes there's an office tradition like that which gives you some room to explore! Another place I worked at had a food truck. They have these at my school too. You could offer her something from the food truck. Like a piece of fruit or something cute like that. Just ideas, but don't let the opportunity pass you by! Office romance is awkward, but could be very intense, like a fifty shades of grey kind of vibe!

 

I think the question about staring might have freaked her out. But I was expecting a positive response from her on that question. Also I have said sorry to her if I have hurt her and she said it is OK and have forgotten about that. What does this implies?

 

That was good advice, and I'm sure I couldn't do any better than that. Hope VG doesn't get on here, hahaaa!!

 

Yeah, small steps first and gradually make things obvious. Give her a time to adjust. SoulCompromise definitely has offered very good advise.

I think the big problem these days is that people pay too much attention to the "signs" that other people supposedly give off. DON'T do that. This really is for people who already know about the other party. Don't READ. We're NOT mind-readers. Just concentrate on getting to know her BETTER. Baby steps.

Once you do that, who knows, it's entirely possible that she begins to seem not at all desirable. Or, maybe she begins to seem even more desirable. Whatever happens happens.

All the best.

 

Go for it. Nothing ventured nothing gained. And if you strike out at least you tried and got an answer. You're not sitting there wondering what could have been if you'd asked her for coffee...

 

In that case, you may be able to play off of that situation.

1. Approach her and open the conversation: You know, I'm feeling a little awkward, but I was sort of wondering if you'd like to go out for lunch.
2. Be prepared for automatic rejection. Her: "Thanks, but I don't think so." You: "Could we maybe do something else?" This could be her automated defense mechanism. Tons of women are on the defense immediately with things like this.
3. If she doesn't like you, be prepared for final rejection. Her: "You're not my type." or "I'm into women." or "I'd really rather not".
4. Last but not least. If she says yes, be prepared to spend spend spend. If you get her out on a first date, don't let it be mediocre. Let her know you mean business!

 

are you close with the boss? have him tell her she has to go out with you or she's fired.

 

Thanks guys for the response. By the way I missed out one important detail that she had left our work place 3 weeks ago (for better job opportunities) only making my chances to approach her difficult as hell. And she dont have profile on any social media either. She can be contacted only through phone. But contacting her on phone seems somewhat awkward to me right now. Or how do I initiate conversation/message on phone that will not make her awkward either if possible? Any advice on this?

 

I would not, considering that she left. There are other fish in the sea!

 

What I'm getting from this is that she shot you down and you don't want that to be true, so you're going to pretend it didn't happen.

If I turned someone down--at work of all places--and they kept approaching me, I'd be very uncomfortable. Just sayin'

But that's me.

 

OK, I agree you are saying to move on but somewhat disagree for saying - "There are other fish in the sea!".

I think the person we genuinely like cannot be compared with the fishes in the sea. Because we form a mental connection with that person and you know mental connection is not that common, at least in my case. And neither we are hungry or craving for the crushes nor it is a game that if one person we like has left then we search for other. The mental connection with them is formed naturally, unintentionally. It cannot be intentionally, forcefully formed. It is just damn hard to let such person go.

Please do not take it as offence, just cited my views. I actually liked your two responses in the beginning. They were so inspiring. Your last response is just hard to digest.

By the way she will be coming to my office within a month for last time for some documentation formalities. At that time she will be meeting all the colleagues. Any chance for approaching her that time. Most probably that will be my last time meeting her. But I will always keep my hopes high!

 

Well hey, I actually found myself agreeing with you there! You're right that there may be "plenty of fish in the sea" but the one fish you want just becomes a way of life for you. I've been there myself. Ended up bleeding from the penis, but hey, I've been there myself. So I say go for it. You know, you only live once and this might be a lesson of your lifetime. If it works out, it works out. If not, then at least you won't end up bleeding from your dick, unless that's already happened.

The actual tactics? Nah, forget all that at this point. Just ask her out. You say this is your last chance, so might as well just flat out ask her. If she says yes, great. If she says no, then at least you can have your closure and move on. Sounds like life to me. Balls are a good thing to have here. Oh, but be respectful, yeah? You're there to express your attraction and appreciation to her, not creep her out. Be a gentleman(non-stalker, though, I'm sure you know that already) about it, and she'll respect you either way, whether she chooses to be with you or not.