Here's the story I'll cut the bullshit. Have you ever met someone and your like this person could definitely be the one? I've had a crush on this girl my friend introduced me to and I asked her out two months ago she turned me down due to her life being a bit hectic at the time. She recently gave me a shot and now we're dating she really likes me and I'm just knocked on my ass by her. She is everything I ever dreamed of. Shes pretty, shes smart, shes cool, we both want to wait until we fall in love to have sex, and like me she also has a 4 year old son. We have a really good connection but I have never been in a good relationship so I have self esteem issues and I tend to get down on myself and stuff. I always feel stupid. I don't want her to leave me because of these issues I have I want her to be there and help me get over them and I'm so afraid I'm going to push her away with all of this. I'm a really put together and happy person on my own but I feel like I'm going to fuck this up by telling her all these things. Shes kind of perfect for me because she's so put together where I'm the most insecure person on earth. I just don't want her thinking I'm crazy telling her all this. Someone help me, please?
The only one that can help you with your insecurity is yourself! Don't expect others to do it for you. It is up to you to do some soul searching and figure it out. Being insecure can be a big turnoff for other people and may cause them to go elsewhere. Sorry if this is not what you want to hear, but I was there after a bad marriage and made sure I got my shit together before giving it another go with someone else. The only one you should count on 100% is yourself and when you do the rest will fall into place.
It's understood that we all have insecurities. The battle is individual. For now, keep it private, and work it out within yourself. And, I suggest you see her as one of your "successes", and let that be something that makes you feel better about yourself.
Thank you both for your replies. I agree about the soul searching. Which I've done and its really hard to make your self more secure. I should have mentioned that I suffer from depression which sometimes it just hits me out of nowhere. My biggest thing is I need to know that she's here for me which part of me knows she is but the other part is really like "she'll never understand". I do see her as one of my successes and when I think of her I can't help but smile I really adore the hell out of her. She's really everything I could ever ask for. I have kept my insecurities private in the past due to the fact that I tend to shut people out, I feel like when I see her tonight I may talk to her about this stuff and kind of get it all out in the open and just hope she understands that when I get down on myself it isn't her. I just don't want to doubt the relationship. It's really difficult to just try to let the insecurities just roll off my back. As I said I just need to know that she's here for me and willing to work with me on this. Thank you both. Any pointers on how I should explain it all to her because I really want her to know that its not her at all.
I don't recommend that you do so, as I already said. I'm thinking it isn't really appropriate to make this her concern. If you insist however, say "I want to apologize in advance if it seems I'm hard on myself. I tend toward buckling under my insecurities, and i don't want you to take it personally".
I agree with this, but there's no reason why you shouldn't bring this up with her. Be open and honest with her with your issues. Getting help from her is fine, but don't expect her to do all the work. You have to. Good luck buddy.
the confusion in intimacy levels between two people can cause more pain and frustration that even a break up...btw, why do you want to be in a relationship that you have to feel insecure about yourself all the time anyways?
This girl has a son so she has had her share of bull shite. If she's going to leave, thats her choice. Btw she probably knows your insecure!!!! Don't dwell on it, just enjoy each other. Dont be serious, relax, time will tell the story. good luck
This. You just have to be confident in yourself. Look, you are raising a 4 year old kid, you got the girl of your dreams....you are the man.
