HELP please.....he says i push him out and he doesnt get hard enough....

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by sweet79, Jun 7, 2013.

  1. sweet79

    sweet79 Banned


    So ive started seeing this guy who definitely knows how to get me going. Ive cum from him sucking on my neck!!!!

    Hes not extra large which isn't an issue for me but i don't know if its an issue for penetration? He gets an erection but its not super hard and he finds it difficult to penetrate. When he does he doesn't stay in. He says I push him out. Ive been told my pelvic floor muscles are strong before but always in a good way and guys love just staying still while i clench around them. This pushing out has never happened to me before. I have tried relaxing but when i get excited and am near orgasm my muscles tighten so it gets tricky. So ive been getting a bit anxious and therefore i dry up and it makes it harder for him to penetrate and its back to the start.

    Also he seems to be only able to penetrate missionary, well with my knees bent against my chest, like hes dipping into me. He gets pretty tired in this position but so far weve not managed penetration any other way.

    i know i should talk to him about it but i was hoping maybe someone could offer me some advice on what to do?

    Oh yeah and in regards to me arousing him, i get the feeling he doesnt like me touching his dick that much and i tried giving him head and he said "im still tired from before".

    This relationship is still so new and im very nervous about it all now, sex has never been a problem before and id appreciate any help.

  2. SupremeNerd

    SupremeNerd Guest

    Well i can't offer much advice since i've never had penetration issues.

    Congratulations on your pelvic floor muscles though, that's a feat and i bet once you solve this issue you'll give him LOTS of pleasure with'em, tightness feels GOOD!

    I do have a suggestion but first you have to establish frank communication, you seem quite stressed over the issue understandably, and the one thing i can tell you is if you can talk about it with him and he responds franly and respectfully (wich he should if he's a nice guy), it's all you'll need to get over the stress, wich you really have to get rid of, there are all kinds of solutions and you're bound to find one that'll get things going smoothly.
    Now for my suggestion, when communication gets going you should find out if he's comfortable with accessories. First thing that comes to mind is a cock ring, it helps to get maximum erection and size. If he's at his max size he should savour your exceptionnal feat fully, and the hard erection should solve the pushing out issue.

    It seems very simple put like this but... maybe it is?
  3. sweet79

    sweet79 Banned

    Thanks. I know communication is key. Keeping stress out of it too, easier said than done. New relationship, of all things i didn't expect to have to deal with sex issues.
  4. Mr.Writer

    Mr.Writer Senior Member

    it's either a hydraulics problem or a stress problem or both . . . you can only help the stress :)
  5. sweet79

    sweet79 Banned

    How do I raise the issue with him and when, in bed, before or after or in another environment all together?
  6. SupremeNerd

    SupremeNerd Guest

    Yeah, i'll make a wish for you ;)

    Can't tell you what works for him. (BTW i'm not hard all the time but my soldier doesn't need much "persuasion" from her to get up straight that's what i meant :p )

    What works for me is lingerie, and i also like to feel that she's craving my juice, but we all have different minds so nothing says it applies to him...
  7. tuesdaystar

    tuesdaystar Interneter

    Could be the angle. I've never pushed a guy out, but I'll push a dildo right out, every time.

    But try getting on top.
  8. SupremeNerd

    SupremeNerd Guest

    For our part we usually discuss that in the bedroom, either after once we "come back to earth" or during foreplay sometimes, but the latter may be awkward for a young relationship... I guess, if the vibe feels right...
  9. sweet79

    sweet79 Banned

    lingerie, hmmm a thought. like what though, suspenders etc???
    how does she let you know, dirty talk?
    only if you don't mind sharing....
  10. sweet79

    sweet79 Banned

    tried getting on top, hes not hard enough.
    damn this is hard. feel like im not doing it for him.
  11. sweet79

    sweet79 Banned

    by the way, thanks everyone for your thoughts, I really appreciate it.
  12. SupremeNerd

    SupremeNerd Guest

    It's a pleasure ;)

    Lingerie, she mostly has camisoles, i have moist hands almost all the time and it doesn't get better when i start caressing her, wich i enjoy. The thin fabric allows me to caress her through it and still feel her skin without my damn moist hands gripping on her skin. And the looks of a woman with lingerie, almost any, just screams "I'm ready for you" :p

    As for feeling like she craves it, i'm usually the one triggering it with dirty questions.
    "yeah you'd suck on it all night if it'd even get you one sweet drop huh?"
    (Might not sound hot, i dirty-talk in french hahaha

    She answers positively.
    I feel that the Fu**ing man!
  13. SupremeNerd

    SupremeNerd Guest

    Or she caresses my sack and makes a remark about what a big load there's gotta be in there.

    If she keeps it going and make a remark on how she's eagerly expecting said load :p, even better.
    (That's one detail i'd like to work out with her, she heads very well but she often just gets straight to work too quickly when there's an opportunity to get me boiling with desire and expectation to deliver the goods to her.)
  14. sweet79

    sweet79 Banned

    I love that im getting to hear about what you like. Need to know what my guy likes, guess id better ask him, hey?
  15. SupremeNerd

    SupremeNerd Guest

    You sure should, 'cause as far as i know it won't do him a thing... Or perhaps it will, very much!

    I'm sure at some point the ambiance will let you speak it out with confidence. Just be careful with words concerning his power or such, and it should be just fine.It's just that we can be sensitive on this topic no matter how tough we are, You're speaking of the epicentre of his male identity, his monument of manhood, his WTC of sex XD.
  16. SupremeNerd

    SupremeNerd Guest

    Good night!
    Sleep tight! (That shouldn't be a problem for you, right? lol)
  17. sweet79

    sweet79 Banned

    its only 320pm in the afternoon here but sweet dreams to you
  18. curiousziggy

    curiousziggy Guest

    I just posted something similar to this. I'm having a similar issue. Like you, I've never had sex issues before - so this is new for me and I'm just like wtf... kinda at a loss. I like him and care and what to be patient and kind and understanding, but it is so frustrating!

    My new guy's penis is below average. Which is fine... I've had below average size before and it was never an issue. But, he doesn't seem to get rock hard - that's an issue.

    It's hard, but not super hard. I don't get that. He's also not circumcised, and I have less experience with non circumcised penis' and thought maybe the extra skin makes it feel less hard? I don't know. I don't think so - I think it just doesn't get super hard. Which, in my non expert opinion, and some research, points to an issue - either physical or psychological, or both, that will require dealing with. ugh.

    We can do other positions - but not well. I can be on top, though. I think he thrusts out too far or too much which causes his not-so-long penis to always plop out - but I think he thrusts so hard because he needs that to blow his load, which he also has great difficulty achieving. This sucks (this pounding hard) because I need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, thrusting alone does nothing for me - especially when I feel like a cheap whore getting pounded the shit out of.

    Anyway. I should listen to this advise and talk to him. But like you I'm nervous and don't want to make him uncomfortable. I have brought it up before - he told me he has problems ejaculating, we talked about some techniques to try, he did seem open to it - but then nothing got better, I raised it again, and he said he tried some techniques I had researched and suggested, and I asked him how (as it was not obvious to me) and then he got frustrated and was done talking about it. I felt bad because he must be embarrassed and feel stupid, but I'm so nice and patient and expend so much energy trying to be understanding... yeah, sex issues are tough!
  19. sweet79

    sweet79 Banned

    That sounds pretty much the same :(
    I managed on top the other night for a whole 30 seconds, he started out hard but he came out after pumping up hard furiously and was floppy again! I love to ride on top, that and laying flat on my belly with guy laying over me from behind but can't do these with him.
    I end up satisfied in the end and so does he but it seems a struggle for him. He also comments on how wet I get when he comes out. Feel like its a criticism about me. You get so wet dont you or you keep pushing me out.
    Cock ring was mentioned but how do I bring that up? I just feel like sex is stressful for me, a little unexciting and tiring for him and maybe boring for him?
    He used to take some prescription hormones for body building I'm wondering if this has affected his performance?
    This relationship is so new, he is such an awesome guy and I don't want to embarrass him or damage his ego. He pleases me a lot but I want the stress taken out! And I want to know both of us are having fun. The other thing is we don't have a lot of time as he works away, two and one.
    What things did your guy try? Have you thought about Viagra or other drugs like that?
  20. leeds85

    leeds85 Member


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