Help me?

Discussion in 'Coming Out and Confused!' started by BellaItalia77, Jan 24, 2005.

  1. BellaItalia77

    BellaItalia77 Member

    I already posted this in the Relationships forum, but I thought I might get a different response here. If I'm not allowed to post about the same thing twice in two different forums, I apologize.. but I'm desperate for advice.

    I met Shaina in November, through my step-sister. Ever since, we've been together and are very much in love. We haven't had any problems until now, and I'm at a loss here.

    Yesterday, Shaina's dad called her because she stayed all weekend with me at my house, like she usually does, and something came up. Apparently, someone has threatened to call DHS on him because she is gay and he lets her spend several days with me at a time, and I live an hour away. She is 16, and I turned 18 in August. The age of consent in Arkansas is 16, so there is no problem there. Her staying with me shouldn't be a problem either.. it doesn't effect her life - she maintains straight A's, she has good attendence in school, she has an active social life and plays basketball for her high school, and she hasn't had any run-ins with the law. She lives in a small town, full of small minded people who aren't really used to different lifestyles.. so that is why all this has come up. My roommate called her aunt, who used to work for DHS..and she said that there is no precendent or grounds for whoever it is to call DHS on Shaina's dad based on these things. If she is still going to school and being "good", there is no reason for our relationship to end. I'm going to check into it further, but I was wondering if I could get some opinions on this. She is definitely worth fighting for, but we are respecting her dad by agreeing to not see eachother for a while until this stuff blows over. He doesn't have a problem with Shaina being gay or being in a relationship with me, but he is freaked out about losing his daughter..and that is perfectly understandable. I don't really know what else to do, except contact someone from DHS to see if there is ANY way that our relationship could cause problems for her father..get it in writing, and give it to him. Can I get any suggestions about what we should do, and how I should handle this situation?

    Thank you in advance for any support or advice any of you can give me.

  2. peace057

    peace057 Member

    It sounds like you have a pretty good handle on this. I think its a great idea (for the dads sake especially since hes being so cool about everything else) that you spend a little bit of time apart. Now this doesnt mean that you have to break up or anything, just that you dont hang out a lot for the next few weeks.

    From what Im reading, I dont think you, Shaina, or her dad have anything to worry about as far as the DHS goes. I cant possibly think of anything that can go wrong. I mean, it isnt illegal to be gay!

    So my advice to you would be dont worry and Im sure this will blow over pretty soon. Calling the DHS would probably be a good idea just to be 100% positive that nothing bad can happen! Good luck and I hope everything turns out ok!
  3. BellaItalia77

    BellaItalia77 Member

    Luckily, everything DID turn out to be okay and things are returning to normal. :D Thank you very much for your response, it was greatly appreciated.
  4. peace057

    peace057 Member

    Good! Im glad everything turned out alright!

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