help me figure out if this was a date or not. (long!)

so i met this chick on a dating site. people meet on there for friendship too, but it's primarily set up as a dating site. anyways. we exchanged maybe 6 messages. short little notes, mostly about what are good things to do in this area, because she's new. well, so am i, so we talked about that a bit.

then she asked if i wanted to meet up for coffee. i said yes, and gave her my number. she called, but i was too chicken to answer. so i called back, left a message, and then we arranged when to meet on IM.

so yesterday we met for coffee. she showed up looking really really cute. casual, but super cute. like she tried to look cute, but in a casual way. she gave me a hug when she came in. we talked for like, a little over an hour, have a lot in common, sometimes the conversation flowed really smoothly, sometimes it got a little awkward... in part because i was so fucking nervous i thought i was going to have a heart attack or projectile vomit. or both at the same time.

anyways. she slipped in a couple of really sweet, amazing compliments to me. but i was so fucking nervous my brain shut off, and i was having a hard time complimenting her back. my feeling is that she was trying to see if i thought it was a date or just friends. and i probably gave her the wrong impression.

when it was time to leave, i kind of botched that up (i had to work) and jetted a little more quickly than i should have, because i was so nervous and just wanted to be able to breathe again. but i sent her a message saying i had a really great time and that if i acted weird it's because i'm such a dork that i got nervous about meeting her.

so what do you guys think? was it a preliminary date? or does she just want to be friends?

 

i don't know....ask her!

but, if she's into chicks she probably likes you. if it's ambiguous in that regard, maybe take it with a little more caution.

 

haha. touche.

 

i mean, i dont know how it went. but if she seemed to like you, she probably does. worst case scenario: you don't see her again and life goes on.

best possible scenario: you meet her again and take her home :tongue:

 

hahaha. yeah, good point. we definitely have plans to get together again. i just can't tell as friends or not. we both dig thrift shopping, so we're gonna go thrifting in SF sometime.

hopefully that'll be the perfect chance to make out in a dressing room and such.

 

i'm gonna jump off the bridge and say that shes interested in you and it was a date

 

i think its likely, given the way in which they met.

dont people on sites like that generally make a point of specifying that they're only looking for friends, if thats all they're looking for? i think most people use such services as a way to find someone to hook up with:cheers2:

 

hehe. i like your opinion, fitz.

 

Man, I'd love to be a fly in the wall on that one. Seems like lesbians have the same problems guys do. There is no hope.

Sounds to me, you didn't talk about your feelings. That's why you were nervous. It was the elephant in the room.

 

not just lesbians. same with all humans.

the differences between men and women in this case are mostly invented.

 

I agree.

 

so what was i supposed to say? i'm nervous as hell because i'm wondering if this is a date or just friends and i don't know if i like you yet or not, but i think you're hella cute, and i hope it is a date? or that i'm terrified because i haven't dated in a LONG time, and i'm not sure how it works here in the US. i dunno. i suck at dating.

i wish i could just relax about it. but i have a tendancy to say really blunt things. i'm so not smooth, so i get freaked out.

i'm way better at going to bars, saying you're hot, wanna fuck? and then going home with someone. dating is so much harder.

 

That's because you're anxious for some kind of approval. I know I have a problem rushing things too. And I think it's because I can't tolerate not knowing whether the person likes me or not. Or in what way.

Yes, that was what you were supposed to say (1st paragraph). My opinion, of course.

 

i really gotta try that someday

 

i know what the dudes are saying, but i don't think you need to come out with questions like that. just treat it like a date and don't worry what she thinks. you will be sending out the vibes you need to and she will pick up on them. i'm sure she wants to get in your pants. who wouldn't? frankly, i think a chick who just moved to your particular area and is on a primarily dating site to find female friends is most likely a lesbian, and most likely interested in your hot ass

 

I agree with Zilla. And you're hot, too. I don't know what that has to do with anything, but I figured I'd throw that out there. Confidence boost.

 

lol, fitz. my thought is that it works better woman to woman, but who knows. try, let me know how that goes.

cherea... yeah, i probably should have said something like that. i said it in my note i sent her. hopefully that will work.

 

thanks girls!

laura, i know she's bi. so there's that at least. i think it was a preliminary date, and hopefully we'll do more things together and maybe end up hooking up.

 

psh dork. she is so into you.

*rollz eyes*

 

Speaking as a sexual person (I decided I'm not bi, I'm sexual, lol), I would be compelled to dig you, Isis. Compelled and propelled.