Help from the homebirthing mamas out there

So I have a question that I pmed Brighid with, but was hoping some more of you might be able to help me out as well.Me and my husband are going to start trying to have a baby in a couple months.I really want to try homebirth with a midwife but my husband is a bit hesitant about it.Really what I need to reassure him is what kind out tests they do, what do they test you for and stuff like that, and what I may say to him to help him feel more comfortable about homebirthing.
Thanks
BrEE

 

They do basically all of the necessary blood and urine tests in the first appointment. The test your A1C (glucose levels), for strep, blood type, etc. They make a big point of making sure your glucose levels are within normal range throughout your pregnancy and offering NATURAL ways to combat high levels. If you develop high blood pressure, they offer NATURAL ways to combat that as well. Right now, they're testing me for group Strep, which can be passed onto my child during birth and is potentially fatal. If I have it, I'll receive antibiotics every 4 hours during labor to protect the baby.

And the main advantages of a homebirth is that it's not a fear-based environment. In a hospital, they're trained to look at every symptom and assume and test for something being wrong, when in fact, birth is a natural process. The c-section rate for planned homebirths is significantly lower than hospital births, the morbidity rate of infants in planned homebirths is lower. And basically any complication that could come up, "call an ambulance."

Most of the time, the complications that warrant a hospital transfer aren't life-threatening. It's more like the labor's not progressing very fast and mother is tired, there is meconium in the amniotic fluid (sign baby is distressed), mom can't take the pain anymore, etc.

Find some good websites with good data and read them to your husband. And let him know that in essence, it's YOUR decision. You're the one going through 12+ hours of pain and delivering this child, and you can do it best in an environment YOU pick out. That being said, when I said the same to my fiance, I also added that I would pick a safety hospital just in case, to ease his mind. But now, he's so on board with the homebirth thing that he's defending my decision to relatives and all of that.

 

Oh he's perfectly fine with the homebirthing thing..he just wants to make sure me and the baby would be okay...he wants like evry little detail of what goes on during checkups and birth...he's really the best man in the world(my opinion of course ) Is there anytihgn else they do?..like any sort of other tests or like first visit checkup things?

 

One of the big things: They encourage you to bring your man with you. They don't just check test results and heartbeats, etc...They ask how you're feeling, what's going on emotionally, if he's having any fears or problems. It's really an appointment for the both of you.

 

Wow thats so awesome...and we have some awesome midwifery centers in eugene oregon, some of the best hippie mama clinics anywhere..brighid has given me some names of some clnics around here and it has helped me alot...its so cool that they encopurage the man to be there.My husband is still terified hes going to break our first child, which im sure we will laugh about later but hes just very nervous and kind of scared. alot of thepeople i work with keep telling im insane to want to do homebirthing and keep telling me ill be in excrutiating pain the entire time and i just laugh at them. i dont understand how an epideral helps anyone. the whole idea of having our babies in my bed in my own home sounds awesome...another question is ive heard that if you rent your home they wont do homebirthing in your house...is that true?

 

We were planning a homebirth, but sadly I miscarried in Dec. But the point is, my husband was really, really hesitant about it until the midwife came over. It wasn't a regular appointment, just a meeting. She stayed for two hours and answered all our questions and gave us a binder of information. My husband asked about all the things that worried him (i.e. What if the cord's around it's neck? What if something goes WRONG?) etc. We had a hospital birth with our first child and it was not a totally horrible experience but close. Our midwife really helped to reassure him that she wasn't just some quack practicing voodoo or something. I don't know if he was totally on board, but he did say after that that it was my body and my birth and he would support me in a homebirth. It takes time for some men to come around I think, because our bodies are kind of a mystery to them, and they can be overwhelmed a bit by the idea of our pushing a little human being out of our vaginas.


I know a midwives assisant who said that one of the main functions of a midwife is explaining the process and informing reluctant fathers.

The idea of a waterbirth also seemed to appeal to my husband...and me!

At this point I don't know when or if we will try to have another baby, but I know that -barring me risking out of midwifery care- I will have my baby at home.

So I would just ask your midwife, or a couple of them if you are lucky enough to have variety in your area, to come by and chat and bring information. Those meeting should be free, and help to make you both comfortable with your midwife.

Okay, that's my 6 or 7 cents. Sorry, I am just passionate about this.

 

Okay,sorry about that last, was probably more info than you wanted! But people give birth in apartments all the time, its fine. And my midwife reminded me that birth is not as messy or as loud as we might sometimes think!

 

I'm homebirthing in an apartment.

 

And as far as those people telling you you'll be in tons of pain and all of that...

Most of them probably don't have kids, so what do they know.

And those that DO have kids are probably the ones that opted for a hospital birth in the first place, didn't do any educating of themselves or their spouse on what birth is and is not, and were probably forced to lie down through most of their labours which creates more pain and fear than anything else.

In a homebirth, you can move freely and deal with pain in whatever way suits you best. You have a ton of people actually talking TO you and not AT you telling you that everything's okay, that you're doing fine, instead of doctors second guessing everything, ordering tests and evasive procedures that do no one any good.

I have a big sore spot against hospitals, if you can't tell. As a larger woman, though, I know that if I had gone to an OB instead of my wonderful midwife, I would have been deemed high risk for no reason other than my size, immediately slated for a c-section, not listened to at all, and filled with fear and regret instead of awe and impowerment.

And you know what? Not only does my midwife NOT think I'm high risk, but the baby's developing perfectly, I've had no high blood sugar or high blood pressure, no swelling, nothing that would even make a person think that my pregnancy is high risk. And it's not like my midwife is a fool or a quack. She's referred me to dieticians and done tests and concluded that I'm fine, the baby's fine.

I definitely recommend looking into midwifery care if you've got the opportunity.

 

mothering.com

 

Midwives are awsome. Hipyfreek basically has given you all the info you need.
They make the birth feel like it's a beautiful, natural thing and not some invasive medical procedure.
They have to screen for all the regular things, but don't make that the main focous..

my keyboard is dying, i'll write more after my dh fixes it

 

But more often than not, the complications that occur can be tested for and treated BEFORE labor, long before.

And the complications caused by a hospital birth don't necessarily make that route peaches'n'cream. Doctors push unneccesary testing, labouring strictly on one's back, c-sections when none are needed. It's ridiculous. Why take the chance of having a bad birthing experience purely because of some invisible risk factor when birthing at home as been found to be just as safe if not more so than any hospital birth (in a no risk, healthy pregnancy)?

 

I'm sure that that last was intended to get us all riled up, so I will restrain myself. But several comprehensive studies have been done comparing mortality and morbidity in hospital and home births, and they have found that mortality (mother or infant death) is the same for both, however, morbidity (injury to mother or infant) is much higher in hospitals due to the invasive nature of their care.


It is pregnancy, not an illness.

 

I've heard so many horror stories about births in hospitals that the whole hospital thing scares me.The ladt thing I want is to be in total terror the entire time im in labor...whats the point of that other than pushing fear on you and making you have more problems therefore resulting in them getting more money because they have to do more. It doesn't make any sense why they would do such a thing but hey whatever they want in money to buy more bmw's and big million dollar houses I guess.I am so stoked about the idea of home birth.My huband and I fully intend on the idea and finding an awesome midwife to help us out. Of course I am also scared if my insurance will cover it or not.I wish I knew if they would.If not I dunno what I will do.My mom has a hippie friend whos son was born in a teepee, so I can see where natural birth is the way to go.

 

Hon, if your insurance doesn't cover it, widwifery care doesn't cost an arm and a leg and you could probably pay for it with a bit out of savings (My midwife costs about $2500 everything said and done, I do believe).

But you also live in a pretty forward thinking state when it comes to things like this. Ask your insurance company if they will take a midwife's care. Then remind them that it would cost them less in the long run because even if you had an uneventful hospital birth it will still likely cost 5 times what your midwife would.

And if they still won't cover it, just start saving up!

 

whoa..thats not expensive at all..i was thing like hundreds of thousands of dollars...holy cow thats an easy one to cover ...thats like the price of an er visit..lol...and as for the whole hospitals are sensible...id like to know the proof that all of this 'technology' is really good for you..come on now im thinking that this technology makes things more difficult...im not fond of the idea of being strapped to a bed for my delivery..sorry but i want to be comfortable, in bed with my husband and doing things the comfortable way so that my children can come into the world relaxed and calm not being pulled out by a strage man and being thrown at me..i dont thing thats kind of thing i want my child born into...id rather he/she be born into the arms of their parents who love them and want the absolute best for them. also im not a big fan of the hospital when it comes to removing the baby from your room for 5 billion tests that are probably unnecassery anyways.

 

In the 28 countries that have a better infant and maternal mortality and morbidity rate than the US, midwives provide the primary care of the majority of pregnant and birthing women, and OB/GYNs, who are trained surgeons, are in the hospital taking care of the women who need them. They are not taking advantage of unnecessary technology for normal births, but yet they have less deaths and less injuries to both mothers and babies than we do with all our machines that go beep.
Birth is a normal process that the female body has been refined for eons to perform. She didn't need (for the majority of women) machines to get pregnant.

 

Yeah, it's not nearly as expensive as a hospital birth, and it shouldn't have to be. Hospitals are there, as you pointed out, to make money. So doctors perform tests and procedures that cost a ton more but do almost nothing for most healthy pregnancies.

Whereas a midwife is doing WHAT SHE LOVES and also is being an advocate, usually, for the greater worldly good. I know my midwife drives an eco-friendly car, recycles like mad, wears hemp clothing, supports local business, and doesn't seem to be into greed. She makes enough money to cover her business expenses and her life. Good practices.

 

try www.gentlebirth.org for the best information!! I printed out the page(s) on homebirth safety, and gave a copy to DH and one to my OB. I also read aloud to DH the chapter on vbac in Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.


as far as your partner/husband's questions, have him talk to your midwife himself. That's what it ultimitely took to convince my DH.


eta - our insurance covered my midwife appointments and the birth itself, just as out-of-network providers. Didn't matter anyway, once we reached our out of pocket maximum we didn't have to pay one more penny (and that worked otu to be the same as our copay for our first child's birth, same insurance company but different policy)

 

A lot of Midwives take payments. Pay as you go and then pay the balance. I had a "lay" midwife in training and she worked in a team. Her Mentor ( with 30 years experience) and her assistant. So in essence, I had 3 mid-wives for the price of one. It cost us $1500, not including gas to go see her...

Another thing that you get with Midwife Care is better Nutrition Advise. And another things is her ability to transform into a Doula if one needs to transport, as I did.

That was fantastic, that she was able to be my advocate while I was in "labor-land" and not wanting to talk. The only reason I was there was to have the pitocin-drip thank you and no other "meds" for pain, no epidural thank you.

Somethings that I recommend: Cranial-Sacral Therapy and Chiropractic Care. The Cranial-Sacral Therapy I recommend from hind-sight experience. I was 35 and I've met other Mom's that were that age or older having their first babies and "failed to progress" like me.

My cervix just wasn't dilating. Anyway, the Cranial-Sacral Therapy would helped I think. I fell and hit my head at about 35 weeks, and when I DID have that Cranial-Sacral Therapy (my Son was about 4-5 months) My Pituitary was off center. The Pituitary puts out Oxytocin~ which causes contractions and dilation of the cervix. no wonder I "failed to progress" and had to transport and get on the Pitocin drip (just 5 units did it- not recommended, I was told that pitocin is a lot harder on Mommy AND Baby)... anyway, my Pituitary gland had never put out that hormone before, how could it do it properly if it was blocked by being off center. Just a thought.

The Chiropractic adjustments through out my pregnancy were a god send, mostly because I liked the adjustment table (collapsable and adjusted for the growing tummy) and I adjusted and kept my adjustments for a long time. I had lower back issues before the pregnancy and Chiropractic care is recommended to reduce back labor.

Another thing I would recommend is massage, but someone who specializes in peri-natal massage, because there are areas to avoid while pregnant.

Insurance (IF they will cover it, mine didn't) do it on a reimbursement basis. But it's usually NOT covered... it's politics too. Pressure to take away Birthing from Women ( almost like EVERYTHING ELSE, i.e.. Medicine & Taking care of the Dead...) Don't let me get started on that.

I had to face 30 Women everyday in Nursing School who were against Home-birth, and avoided talking to me about it, because they knew I'd stand up to them. But they were really good at trying to scare me with stories, and asking me if I was scared yet. God, the ignorance! It was a lonely time for me. Thank the Goddess for my Midwife because she counseled me through all the pressure, and through my nursing in the NICU (w/the preemies) and through the State Mental Hospital with the sex offenders...

Thank the Goddess that I had my girlfriend Joni, who gave birth way out in the boonies and named her kid Justice, because she left the hospital against medical advice (she had ruptured and hadn't start to labor yet)...

Long story short~ I labored for 3 days. Loved my Labor! Walked and walked and walked... Danced and Sang and sat in the birthing pool, had belly massage, ate lasagna and watched The Story of Little Big Man... then we decided to transport in the Morning.

The real message I guess that I'm trying to get across is this It's really about a safe delivery, if you can't do it at home safely (for Momma and Baby) than go to the ER. You want to make it to make it SAFE. It's not about having a home-birth at all costs. If you don't have insurance, then get on Medicaid and still try to have a home-birth anyway, but always have a back up plan. Your Mid-wife will!