Help!! Don't care for sex =(

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by ihilani, Jan 3, 2005.

  1. ihilani

    ihilani Member

    I need help! I love my boyfriend and love being with him but i just don't care for sex. I feel guilty. There is just no feeling in the vaginal region when we have sex. Sure i can feel what is happening but it doesn't feel good nor does it feel bad. Same when I masterbate.
    Does anyone have any advice for me? :(
     
  2. greeneyedbaby

    greeneyedbaby Member

    I would take some time to myself, and really "explore" what I like and what I don't like.
    If you find that a bit too difficult on your own, there are many articles online about how to stimulate different areas etc.
    If that doesn't do it for you, I'd recommend the book "Hot Sex" by Tracey Coxx. :)
     
  3. velvet

    velvet Banned

    Even though I'm sometimes completely non-horny I do have sex (intercourse) at those times because I love the feeling of being so close to him. I don't orgasm from intercourse either but I still like the stretchy feeling and seeing him cum.. I dunno, maybe I'm strange that way but I often see intercourse as 'cuddling plus' :)

    And needless to say, he doesn't mind :)
     
  4. greeneyedbaby

    greeneyedbaby Member

    I know what you mean velvet. sometimes I have sex just because i'm in a very cuddly mood. My boyfriend hates if I have sex while i'm not really horny.
    He'd much rather I just cuddled up next to him without having sex if i'm in a non-horny cuddly mood.. which i guess is the easiest.. man, why do chicks (me) have to make things so complicated..?
     
  5. Honestly, you need to seek a professional. I mean someone sexually experienced. Question, ever tried being with a woman? Sometimes I just don't care for sex with a guy, but I get with a girl (especially an experienced girl) and it fixes the problem real quick.
     
  6. velvet

    velvet Banned

    Ihilani,

    What worries me more is that you don't care for sex AT ALL.. like in.. never.. even not with yourself. I don't know your age but I do think that this is a problem (if it's not a phase). It could be as simple as a physical or hormonal cause but usually this stuff is purely emotional. Are you familiar with your own body? Are you totally at ease with yourself? Are you comfortable with everything 'down there'? Take greeneyedbabies advice and maybe take some time for yourself to 'explore'.. to get yourself going. If nothing helps, although you are totally relaxed and open to it, then I advice you to go seek help (either a physician and/or a psychologist)..

    Best of luck!
     
  7. Takemenow

    Takemenow Senior Member

    sounds like somethigns up to me too... are u on any medications? sometiems t hat messes things up. is it just with this bf or have u never had an intrest?maybe and inbalance of some sort
     
  8. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

    if you're not on any meds maybe he's not paying enough attention to you both in and out of the bedroom, I know that surely kills my sex drive.
     
  9. 1FASTMF

    1FASTMF Member

    Since the OP has been well answered, all I can say is:

    [tried to post Nikki's pic here]

    WOW
     
  10. mary0229

    mary0229 Member

    I also think that you have to see a professionnal, specially if it's also when you masturbate, but I think it can also be psychological. I think you have to tcheck how you see the sexuality, sometime it can affect.
    One day, I a reporting on a clinic specialize on that, maybe you can search on net you could have resolution.
     
  11. rg420

    rg420 Member

    Has anything major happened in your life. Like the loss of a loved one. Depression sometimes will cause lack of a sex drive. I know when my GF's mom past away I didn't have sex with her for almost a 6 months. She just didn't want to have sex and if you knew her you would be shocked. She always wanted sex
     
  12. urbangal

    urbangal Member

    I've been there; still am. I find I only enjoy the sensation of sexual intercourse but never orgasmed with a guy. I haven't had the chance yet with a girl (they like my experience but are "too tired" to reciprocate). Since I've taken like a super long break from sex with anyone, I've discovered what I do and do not like. Turns out, straight up in the pussy sex with me doesn't cut it, I need stimulation on the outside.

    I think someone already said that maybe you need to find what makes you tick, so take a break! Just not a near 3 yr break like I did.
     

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