well i will try again, i did post earlier about this but well i didnt get very far with it! i have never in my life done this (masterbated) and as i accept the concept that to have my husband learn what i like i need to find out for myself first i am willing to give it a go, well since i posted earlier about this i have been trying, and im talking about using my fingers here not a vib as i dont see why they should benefit from me!!!! and the battery manufacturers!!!! well im getting absolutely now where! not even a slight tingle nothing! ive looked at a load of porn ive try fantisizing everything i can think of and nothing happens its not as if im just not in the mood, jezzzzzz i could climb the walls some days but still nothing, help a seriously frustrated and dissapointed person please
Just relax dont try and force it, and i would say do try some toys (rampant rabbit, iv bought them for a few female friends and they'v all loved them, or even maby just a clit stim set or a pocket rocket). if that fails just try getin your husband to do it 4 u, tell im to do what he likes lol if u like something he's doing let him know. that way you can both lern what to do how to do it and when. thats my 2 cents
thanks for that but did you actually read what i said! no vib use want to use my fingers cause we already have a rabbit one and well he is hurting me with it, and apart from that i cant even get the bloody thing in me and then the ears well they are just in the wrong place, my pee hole actually hurts then.
Ah rite sory (world o me own most o the time :& ). u can try useing lube if you havent already, some women like to use a peice of smooth cloth (something silky) over there hand, it kind of depends wether you profer vaginal or cliteral stimulation. there are also those stay hard creams that u see on the net for men, all they do is stimulate blood flow to the are so u could try that (although iv never tryed that with any1 so read up a little first) might giv you the boost you need tho. as i said at the beggining of my first post, dont try and fore it (as hard as that may be) try and get yourself reely horny then go 4 it. im not an expert tho thats all i can think of rite now.
oh god i hate lube its just so slimey! the only reason we got it was cause itt was hurting me when he fingered or penetrated me, but i dont find that stuff a turn on at all. trouble is im feeling like im climbing the walls and already have tried about 4 times today, but get nowhere
i know im goin over the same ground hear but hav u tried like a pocket rocket, 2 advantages are that they are realy slim only like a finger wide, and also that they vibrate quite intensely but dont um well gyrate at all, puting it directly on or circleing your clit might hav some afect. also you know you can get thost big bumpy sheet things that cover a chaire, the ones that are suposed to make it like a massage chaire, well you could try rolling one of them up into like a log shape (i know that wouldnt exactly help with technique but atleast ud get off) , and well siting on it, sound stupid i know but if ur willing to try anything. thers the option of anal sex aswell ofcause this isnt 4 all people but u never know u might just finedits what youv been looking 4. the only other thing i can think of is that if your having trouble with sex as a whole you might want to look into medical or psychological issues, something you may not realise might be holding you bak.
no i dont climax at all with intercourse or oral just that bloody vib!!!! we have tried every position know to man and when i here how people (women) get of by sitting on top then i cant help wonder how the hell! my clit is so far away from anything about 4 inches to be exact if it was just an iche then it might be possible but not that far! we are having treatment for our problems, but she frightens the hell out of me! at the moment she has said we do this sensate focus, i cant talk to my husband cause i know that whatever i say it will be forgotten in the next 2 minutes! thats the whole point of that excersise to tell him
just a quick update on the sensate focus, well the first night was a complete disaster! we both showered, lit candles etc, and the he lay down on the bed, i sat next to him, and then i got this awful feeling in my arms as i tried to start on his head, so i sat back took a couple of deep breaths and strecthed out my hands, try again, no go, by now my heart was pumping big style, i was getting short of breath, and the panic was starting to set in. so i tried to start with his neck, i knew that he had pain on one side so i tried touch that i couldnt, it was like someone was holding my arms back!!! we swapped over, my turn to lie down, my heart racing now, struggling to get controll of my breathing, so he started with my head, as we were instructed, the panic washing over me more and more, he continued, i dont make a sound, i couldnt feel a single thing other than the panic, eventually i turn over and he starts on the front, about half way down i started shaking so bad that he realises somethings wrong and stops, im now in full blown panic attack and cant do anything, like that for a long time, and eventually fall asleep for an hour to be woken by a really bad drean and so frightened to go back to sleep, he wakes up and 4 hrs later im asleep again. last night we decided to give it another go, i have some diazepan in the house and i took a quarter of the pill, and although my heart was racing and i had to grit my teeth to start i did get on with it, and managed to get through the time with him. just a point to be made its so damm hard to give a massage without being able to oils as we usually do, well its not a massage as such its making all kinds of sensations but even so, not easy. im trying to get hold of some grass and see if that helps me out a bit, cause i certainly dont want to be dependant on the pills for long. i was talking to my hubby about when i use the vib and the only way i can get off with that is when i push my legs out till they feel ten feet long and keep that up for a long time while using the vib on my clit and pressing the ears in there and then push the phalic end against me, but not in me as the thing wont go in, which is surprising as my hubby is larger than the vib and i can accomodate him ok, but i just cant fit it in, but he can get it in there fine, for a while then it starts hurting me. the point is with the vib it is really starting to hurt my knees, even just walking around now an i feel twinges, that isnt a good thing.
You really, really need to relax, first of all. Its your husband- he should want to make you feel good, and you should just relax and be comfortable with that. My suggestion is to maybe just masterbate alone first, and them let him watch you when you get used it. Start out just laying on your back, and breathe deep and relax. Do this alone when no one can interuppt or bother you. Run your hands over your body, caress your breasts, gently rub between your thighs, rub your nippes. Think sexy thoughts, fantasize about whatever turns your on until you feel wet and horny. Your vagina should probably feel slightly swollen. Start out by gently touching your wet hole, and move the wetness up on to your clit, gently flicking it at first, then moving to rubbing in a circular motion. RELAX, breathe, and think about something that makes you hot- whether its getting/giving oral, intercourse, a one night stand, whatever. Maybe take a few minutes while you are rubbing your clit to pinch and play with your nipples. Above all, you need to relax!!! You can do it.
but thats the point! i can sit down and play with myself until the cows come home with him there or not, but on my clit i never get any signs to think "oo thats nice i ll go with that for a bit" its like your playing with your nose! i have done all the other things that you suggest and yes it feels nice! and i keep doing that for a long time, but the instant i touch my clit its gone! feeling horny? boy oh boy more than you can believe, even to the extent that it wakes me during the night and i cant get back to sleep again! i am having so many dreams i wake up, i try playing with myself and carry on with the dream, but ended up so frustrated.
It is a matter of attitude. If you are trying to be competitive with yourself and/or your husband then it will not happen. Try using yoga exercises before you masterbate.
I remember you. Suppose you're still having problems with whole things, eh... Well, at this point, the most sensible thing that I can suggest is to seek professional help. It is obvious this isn't just your physical responsiveness, or the way your husband has been dealing with it, that is preventing you from enjoying sexual sensations. I think the real problem lies within yourself, and you are unable to quite put a finger on what it is exactly. I don't see how seeing a sex therapist AND a phychologist regarding this matter would hurt, provided that you can afford them. Good luck!
we are seeing the theraphist and as i said shes started us of doing this sensate focus, first night while recieving the "massage" i had one mother of a panic attack! it took over an hour to get me to talk again! also seeing a phychologist, here in the uk we dont have to pay for that just had to wait a long time on the waiting list!
he tried but as with all things i just start to feel something then he goes and moves away somewhere else! so i think the answer to that one is a definte no! i want to but as he seems to want to try everything out in a short space of time its going to be so damm hard getting him to stay in one place.
forget to say i cant reach in there myself, well i can even get one finger in on my own! it just wont go in.
This is why discouraging and punishing children and teens for masturbating is stupid and completely wrong. If she would have been taught about the benefits of masturbation when she was young she probably wouldn't be frigid. It's bad enough when your partner can't bring you to orgasm, but it's completely wrong when you are so filled with guilt and shame about masturbating that you can't bring yourself to orgasm.
