Discussion in 'Recovery' started by mixmaster1314, Feb 20, 2012.

  1. mixmaster1314

    mixmaster1314 Member

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    Hello to everyone else in recovery. I wanted to share a bit about myself with you other members of hip forums recovery section...

    Hi, my name is Nate, and I am an addict.

    I have been clean now for 143 days. Not a single day goes by where I don't think about junk. I've been on suboxone since I got out of detox. It really is a miracle drug. I'm not placing all of my hope/incentive on the drug, I know I have to want it to stay clean, but it helps keep my mind in the right direction for the time being...

    I started smoking pot when I was 14/15, freshman year of high school. Next came the DXM/cough syrup. Then came the white girl. I actually joined this forum back in 2007 when I became curious about LSD...

    Cocaine took my life over when I was 16. I started stealing money from my parents to aid my habit. Eventually my parents found out. My dad kept about 8 thousand cash in his safe in the basement. I found the key, the combo, and the rest is history. I blew through 3 grand before he found out.

    Then came crack. The small newspaper place I was working at had an old timer named Dick working there. He introduced me to crack after a few times of busting my lines with him. I went on with crack for a good while, until I stole 530 dollars from my girlfriend at the time. Keep in mind, still 16 years old.

    After this happened, I used crack a few more times- but eventually I just stopped. Have not touched it since. I think it had to do with my LSD experience right after I turned 17. I am still a believer in psychedelics, and only trip maybe once a year. I've tripped on all sorts of psychs, probably almost near 1,000 times now. No joke. Used to be VERY heavy into it. Not realizing it isn't good for your brain- idc what anyone says- it'll fry your shit.

    Back n forth between weed and psychs....

    Back when I used cocaine a lot, my dealer also had powder brown heroin. I eventually became interested, and bought a gram. I did the whole thing in one sitting, because I didn't want to put it back into a baggie- not knowing it coulda killed me. I never touched it after that because of how sick it made me. Just went back to my blow. "Fuck opiates, I hate downers" attitude.

    Fast forward a little while, to my junior year of high school. One of my druggie buddies offered me some tar heroin, said I could smoke it. I loved the taste for some reason, and started chasing the dragon every now n then. Eventually- it led me to the needle.

    Everything changed after I discovered IV drug use. Something in my brain clicked. Yes- I was an addict before, but not like how it was about to be.

    Ever since that fateful night when I first shot up heroin- I was hooked. Even when I was "getting clean" to my family n friends- I was using. I couldn't stop. Sure I had a few periods of time where I quit. For a few months of the summer of '09, I was heavy into LSD and swore off heroin. Only to jump right back once winter rolled around.

    Heroin destroyed everything. Friendships, relationships, my finances. Everything. I hate the fact that I am a drug addict. Why would god do this to me? What did I do to deserve this?

    The good thing is- I am only 20 years old. Some posts on this forum, I try to make it seem like I am a lot older. So anyone of you who read this- lets keep it that way... Anyways- I know I still have MUCH of my life to live. And am actually glad that I could get sober to enjoy the rest of it. I'm working on mending bridges that were burned, and things of that nature.

    I guess I just wanted to ramble a bit... I lost track of where I was going with this.

    Thanks for letting me join this recovery section of the forum.:sunny:
  2. wisp

    wisp Member

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    Welcome to recovery and thank you for sharing with us .have a great 24 :D
  3. OneLifeForm

    OneLifeForm Member

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    I could relate with a lot of that man.

    I got clean when I was 17 and now am 21.. January 1st of '12 was my 3 Years clean.

    NA meetings are a good thing if you don't already know :)
  4. mixmaster1314

    mixmaster1314 Member

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    Hell yea nice job man. Yea actually I just found an NA in my town that is great. I started reading the NA "big book" too, and am finding it to be very... helpful actually.

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