So, I'm 29 and have Aspergers Syndrome(High functioning Autism). I usually write of my curiosity as symptoms of Aspergers. But I've been called gay, queerbait, faggot, a few times in my life but not a substantial amount of times. When I get really high, I sit here trying to fight the voice that continues to call me gay. I just got out of an 8 year relationship that has me wondering, why? Why have all of my relationships failed? I was supposed to be married by now, I tell myself. I was making payments on a wedding set. Then I think back to the time I shared another girl with my(at the time) best friend. I think back on all the failed relationships, most lasting two months, I think about the molestation that I didn't complain about, I look at the hole I punched in my wall after I realized why I started using hard drugs. I started using them right after the molestation. There's so much shit I don't know about myself. But I keep telling myself everything is fine. You're not gay. Then I think about denial, and people coming out. So, not sure how many times people here have heard this, but would anyone consider meeting up with me just to see where it goes? Knowing that it may not go anywhere? Send me a private message and we can exchange contact info there. This isn't something I'm chomping at the bit to do, so reluctantly, stoned, I write this. This has been on my mind for years. I'm not comfortable in my own skin.
