Hi there, My name is Nigel, and while I was putting up some nice new curtains to go with my cute little parlor garden I just planted yesterday, (oh what a mess that made, got my hands all icky sticky) I was wondering if any body could give me some good advice on trying some nice heavy metal tunes on my kazoo I had for a while. I'm hosting a feminine rally party, and want something new and festy to add some spark to the agenda. Thanks in advance!
Dear mister N. Hipster, I don't know what to imagine when I read 'feminine rally party'. I think I can be of more specific help if I knew of what nature exactly this rally/party is, so I could find some music that fits the event! For my hottest parties I often play Ildjarn and Thergothon, most usually on the toe harp. My Ildjarn brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like, it's better than yours. Thergothon is always a guarantee for a hot and steamy party and gets the guests naked in no time. Oh, I'd love to have a garden! I envy you so! What I'd like most would be a pretty big garden, full of plants and trees, a real refuge of nature, and a tiny little spring in it and a *what's it called?? an ARBOUR* on the bank of the spring with a nice chair in it. One like this, but more overgrown, and looking out over the water! And I'd have to have a hammock somewhere too and I'd be so happy!!
Whenever I'm hosting a tea or tupperware party, I usually have some Cannibal Corpse beautifully flowing through the airwaves. Carcass was a big hit at my last toga party, if only miss Horton would stop flashing my other guests, really, she's 60, its time to widen the toga a bit. Last weekend's bar mitzvah was a hit with the local Anal **** cover band. [/sarcasm]
Seriously though, a big garden with all kinds of plants and trees and water and a nice place to just chill in your own little patch of wilderness, that would be awesome, when I have a big garden you're all invited to drink tea with me in my arbour! I'll need to hire somebody for maintenance and cleaning and stuff, obviously I'd be much too busy being happy with my garden to work on it. I want a lot of exotic flowers too and not too many insects but many birds! And beautiful lighting, maybe with torches or gas lamps for the summer evenings...
No NO NO NO NO! You guys were supposed to get very angry and wnat to mutilate me! You were to be filled with a rage that would cause a precise systematic meltdown of the entire aggressive culture so that it could purified as it was reformed to an uglier and at the same time more beautiful beast of vile. Now slap yourselves immediately!
We're all very sorry for our lack of elitism and fundamental tr00 kvltness, and for not bashing/flaming you for being a 'poser' or perhaps even a 'nigel hipster' (god, I hate that term). I could try to bash you, if that would make you feel better... I'd hate the thought of possibly having spoiled your day.
No actually I'd rather not want to. Bashing you really goes against my pacifist nature. And none of us here really listens to any of that heavy metal stuff... duh, this is a hippie site and we only listen to the Beatles. The only reason we post here is to make us look rebellious and x-tr33m, but we haven't got a clue what we're talking about, really. Um, wait. How's this: If you think you can just come here and be all poseur-ish and scenesteur-ish and Nigel hipsteur-ish, then, well... have you any idea how, uh... No no, wait, I can do this. YOU, mister, are destroying the undeurground and the sc33n with your... obvious... non-metalness. And I think that you should go back to listening to the Spice Girls and leave us, the TRUE and ENLIGHTENED (hey, that sounds pretty neat) to deal with all things metal! Ha! So yeah! SHOO, SHOO! Go away and be gone! Or in the words of MANOWAR, the truest of them all, not to mention the brutalest and loudest and heaviest and first heavy metal band evar!!!!!!11 (they are from England): Heavy Metal Or No Metal At All Wimps And Posers Leave The Hall !!
meh... There are a few sites I could refer you to for proper abuse administering. I think it would help to develope your specific angles of late! Good read tho.
