headlines

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by mariecstasy, Dec 30, 2004.

  1. mariecstasy

    mariecstasy Enchanted

    ACTUAL HEADLINES OF 2004:


    Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [Imagine that!]

    Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?]

    Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers[Now, that's taking things a bit far!]

    Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

    Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!]

    Miners Refuse to Work after Death [Good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]

    Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

    War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!]

    If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [You think?!]

    Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought it!]

    Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!]

    Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]

    Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge [He probably IS the battery charge!]

    New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?!]

    Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

    Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Taste like chicken!]

    Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy [That was really giving of himself!]

    Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Texas Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

    Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!]

    And the winner is....

    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
     
  2. nimh

    nimh ~foodie~

    heh!
     
  3. Green_Apple

    Green_Apple Member

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha :D
     
  4. hiro

    hiro pursue it

    HAHA. Hey Marie remember when you said this laugh sounded like bart simpson :p ;)
     
  5. mariecstasy

    mariecstasy Enchanted

    i had forgotten, but now i definately do.....thats funny, i am crazy
     
  6. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

    where'd you get those?
     
  7. peacefuljeffrey

    peacefuljeffrey Senior Member

    I love 'em!

    ...but...

    those are not from 2004, necessarily. In fact, "Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge" is the title of a book that was on the syllabus of a journalism class I took in 1991.

    They're still funny as hell, though.

    I sent a few of those to Jay Leno once. The one I can remember was "Firefighter to be charged with battery." It ran in the paper I work for.

    -Jeffrey
     
  8. soulrebel51

    soulrebel51 i's a folkie.

    hahaha wow :D
     
  9. mariecstasy

    mariecstasy Enchanted

    they came in an email...
     
  10. Bellfire01

    Bellfire01 I'll say anything

     

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