He can't get in when we try to have sex...

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by Dunno, May 26, 2006.

  1. Dunno

    Dunno Member

    On a number of occasions we have tried to have sex but it just doesn't happen. This is the first time for both of us...I don't know what the problem is. We do a lot of fore play and he gets turned on alot but when we try, he cant get in!
    I duno if its me, maybe im not turned on enough cos i am hard to please or i am too tense or something....

    When he puts da condom on he goes flat and we work on it again...and as it has happend a few times i think hes nervous the next time he tries to get in....
     
  2. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

    you may get more responses in love and sex than in the women's forum

    Is the problem because you're too tight, or because he doesn't stay hard?

    If it's him not staying hard, you could try putting a cock ring on him before the condom. Make sure the condom is the right size too... too big is weird feeling and too tight can be painful for some

    If it's you being tight, more foreplay particularly penetration foreplay (ie finger fucking)

    Talk dirty to him too, it works on the vast majority of guys... let him know how much you want to feel him inside of you, how good he feels in your hands/under your touch, how sexy he is, how much he turns you on, etc etc etc.
     
  3. You may feel turned on but then when time comes for the entry, your subconscious may be tightening you up like a fortress making it nearly impossible for him to penetrate.

    I've had that happen even after I wasn't a virgin.

    That's why women have such damage during rape, because our bodies tighten up to protect and the men shove through like a batter-ram.

    Learn some relaxation techniques and just take it slow. Maybe have a glass of wine to loosen up your muscles and make you feel a little euphoric.
     
  4. Aristartle

    Aristartle Snow Falling on Cedars Lifetime Supporter

    Do you masturbate by inserting your fingers? Have you ever inserted a tampon? Do you menstruate regularly?

    Take a good look at your vagina love. Women are born with all different types of hymen, and since you are a virgin, your hymen could possibly look like one of these:

    [​IMG]
    Parous introitus - is a hymen after giving birth of course.
     
  5. barefoot_kirstyn

    barefoot_kirstyn belly flop

    I had the same problem until I had my dd.
    When my dh COULD get it in, it burned so bad. If I was incredible turned on, it didn't hurt and actually felt good, but that hardly happened. I'd invest in some good lube and use a lot.The finger insertion is a good idea, too.
     
  6. Dunno

    Dunno Member

    Thanx everyone

    i dont think its because hes not turned on...i do alot 4 him and hes cum a number of times by just foreplay...

    He fingers me a lot and wen he rubs my C i am really turned on, maybe he needs 2 do it more vigrously...It hurts wen he does and i redirect him....if the fingers hurting....the actual thing will hurt a hell of a lot more??

    Im not one to masturbate, i dont enjoy it!

    I dont really wanna use lunbricants cos thats more of a last resort sort of thing

    I think it may be me:S what if i cant have sex:S i think and feel as if i am ready...with past bf no but with him i do wanna
     
  7. .Hannah.

    .Hannah. Member

    Hey Dunno,

    You might want to just make an appointment with a doctor because I have a friend who did go for minor surgery regarding an abnormally small vaginal passage. I know that sounds strange but for what it's worth, it can't hurt getting it checked out.
     
  8. TheMechanic

    TheMechanic The chicken LUVER!

    Or there are cone shaped dildos...

    use one of these and insert further and further, try and eo this multiple times daily, to enlarge your opening just slightly...

    after the first time he gets inside you (be aware it is probably going to hurt) you should not have that many problems anymore...

    I dont consider myself to have a huge penis, but I have been told I have an extrordinairely large girth... I would venture to say it is almost as thick as it is long, 7" long and approx 6 1/2 to 7" round... my fiancee and I had to try three seperate times, before I finally got inside of her, and she has been with a fair share of men...

    none of which were remotely as wide as I am...
    It was funny after our first time having sex I notcied that my cock was a big as her wrist... and I mentioned it to her, she didnt believe me so we compared... its actually bigger than her wrist... I have to say, I was VERY proud to have a manhood the likes which she had never seen before... I know Im not the biggest, but I hear girth is more inportant anyway...

    Myabe the ladies can shed light on that??

    LASTLY, use lube there is NO shame in it, and you are only causing yourself discomfort for NO reason... use "astroglide" or single packets of "wet"

    "They ROCK!" so says my fiancee'
     
  9. Dr Phibes

    Dr Phibes Banned

    let me try
    I'm pretty sure I can make it work
     

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