I figured the whiners section was a good place for this post. You know what I don't like? The fact that hate brings people together. Think about it. Remember school? Ever have that class where almost everyone came together, but there was that one douche who nobody liked and didn't fit in? The rest of the class bonded at the expense of that one fellow. It has happened to my classes a number of times. In fact, I'd say the classes where my fellow students and I bonded the most were in that exact situation. At work, don't you love to gather around the watercooler and talk smack about that weird guy in the office? He's the joke of the work place, and his lack of acceptance makes the other people feel better and more tight-knit. I'm not religious, but I can see it in their social groups as well. Christians always laughing about the "heathens who don't accept Jesus" and how their views are superior to others. Isn't religion supposed to teach toleration of others? I don't have many friends, but the ones that I do have often talk poorly about other people we know, often other friends of ours. It seems much of our conversations are driven by the dislike of various traits of others. And I feel as though they do it to me behind my back as well. It feels good to sustain conversation, but at the same time I feel bad for getting sucked into the negative speech. This forum itself is another great example. I've been lurking, and I see tons of posts about how "the man" is morally wrong and unjust. I'm not saying I disagree, but it's just depressing. Hatred towards those with narrow-minded views brings the people of this forum together. The love found on this forum is driven by hate. Now, I've been guilty of this as well. I'm not perfect. I've been part of that hating group many times. And I'll admit, when I am part of such a group it usually feels good to fit in. It feels good to be accepted. But I've also been on the other side of the equation, being the one singled-out, ridiculed, and hated. And it sucks. Why does it have to be like this? Why can't love exist without hate? How come love has to come at the expense of others. It just feels so rotten. I understand the whole yin-yang thing. Good cannot exist without evil. Pleasure cannot exist without suffering. Love cannot exist without hate. I get that. But sometimes it really sucks. I wish groups could feel good without disliking others or making others feel bad or suffer. Sorry, just wanted to rant. I'm kind of bummed, read my post in "mental health" if you want to know more about my recent depression.
A bit like how we create forum threads? We gather in here to hate on things and people we don't like.
I think it is a built in instinct for humans to be on the lookout for allies. What easier way to get someone on your side than by using someone that they don't or won't like as a common object to join forces against. It's a shame. We don't need to act like that in our society now (well, at least we shouldnt, even if reality shows make it seem otherwise). I wonder how many people realize how many similarities that they can find between themselves and people that they hate or just disagree with. I've found many myself.
there was a study of baboon social behavior that found that there were two basic baboon social groups. One group would groom each other a lot, and if any baboon in the group was an asshole, they'd all get up and leave the asshole baboon behind. The other group had aggressive leaders that would abuse the baboons one rank below them. They in turn would pass on the abuse to the next lowest ranking baboon. The lowest ranking adults would then abuse the baby baboons. Human social behavior is not that different. Unfortunately, we seem mostly to be organized around the principles of the second group. Having a victim class or an enemy class unites a group because all of the tendencies toward abuse and exploitation can be heaped on the victim class, leaving the rest of the group interactions relatively tranquil. The victim class also helps to enforce conformity, because group members fear being added to the victim class. It's a shit system. If the victim disappears, a new victim has to be split off from the group so rest of the group can feed on them. You don't have real friends in that kind of social system, it's just a matter of whether or not you are the most vulnerable member of the social group or not. The ideal thing is to find a social group that is organized around cooperative principles, but usually there is at least some victim class element to any social organization.
Yeah, even gods of old in ancient cultures did this. If gods did it what chance were we going to have? =p
Yeah, you guys get it. I think from now on I'm going to work harder to avoid groups that gang up against others for the sake of feeling a sense of belonging. Having been on that side before, I don't want to make others who don't fit in as easily feel bad or unwelcome. It might not be easy, and I'll probably stumble along the way, but I'm going to try my best!
I don't care. But those sissy families have to "love" on mother's day. No originality like so many publically displayed families have nowadays.
Good line of thinking, in my opinion. "Though shalt not follow a multitude to do evil" some of the very little bit of wisdom that I have found in the bible. Ow, my fingers burn on contact with my phone when I quote bible stuff. I try to follow something close to the noble eight fold path, but I fail miserably.
That has got to be the most extreme example of what Poads is talking about. I would imagine the need to be part of a group and have allies would be million times greater in jail than on the outside.
Sometimes I'm that person, the person that people talk illy about, whether it's to my face or behind my back. But, I understand it. I know I think, feel, and act differently than the majority of others, so I think it's my fault that I become this person in a group. Also, this activity that some people take part in is something many people do, so people are just copying one another, doing what they have observed working for others. I wouldn't say it's natural because I don't know if gang mentality is natural or not, but it's societally natural. When you're confronted with a person that thinks, feels, acts, and looks different than you, your response is to talk illy about that person, whether it's to their face or with a group of others. BASICALLY, people are just doing what society tells them to do. Lastly, it's an example of gang mentality, it makes people feel stronger and connected to something when they take part in this activity, so I can't get upset at people for that. They have someone or a group of people that they are bonding with, that's beautiful. Obviously, if it gets physical or it's very mentally damaging to the person who is being subjected to this, then of course, that's not good. But, I think in most cases, such as your examples of work, school, and friends... it's more an example of social order. If you're going to think, feel, act, or look differently than the majority, you can't expect not to be put in your place by the people who do think, feel, act, and look the same as society, as in the majority.
