Has #metoo and dating apps ruined love culture?

Discussion in 'True Love' started by 6-eyed shaman, Mar 1, 2020.

  1. 6-eyed shaman

    6-eyed shaman Sock-eye salmon

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    Just got done reading this really good article by a dating coach

    How #MeToo has RUINED dating by making men scared to approach women in real life, expert says | Daily Mail Online

    In this article she expresses how while the PoundMeToo movement had a good purpose in calling attention to the abuses of sexual predators, it consequently caused men to be too afraid to approach women in public, for fear of coming off as a creep with rapey intentions. Because of this social phobia, they turn to dating apps and websites to try to get around their approach anxiety. If a guy is afraid of being a creep, he's going to either look like a beta nice guy who bores the girl, or he's going to give off a creepy vibe as he tries NOT to be a creep.

    I actually agree with much of what she says regarding how this has had a negative impact on dating culture. If people (men especially) are too afraid of striking up a conversation with a new woman, for fear of being #metoo'd and the possibility being cyber shamed for it, then it's going to put a barrier toward all new romances.

    Quotes:
    Indeed I have done the dating websites and the dating apps. My experiences with them have been a frustrating mess. Plus, I'd also say e-dating is more difficult than trying to make a date with a girl I just met at the bar.



     
  2. Asmodean

    Asmodean Slo motion rider

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    No, but I'm sure plenty of people experience it as such.
     
  3. soulcompromise

    soulcompromise Member HipForums Supporter

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    I can't help but disagree. :)

    I think guys are rape-y and weird by default. And most of the good relationships come from a place that is a product of understanding that.

    I don't think of it as beta driven or coming in second at all. When it comes to attracting the right kind of women, I think it comes down to sustainability: what can we afford to do? And that together we can afford to do more than apart. :sunglasses:

    I think the fatal flaw in the incel line of thinking is that there's something wrong with #metoo, or that men are somehow under attack. There is plenty wrong with the traditional/patriarchal approach to dating.

    You have to woo her! :) It's not just about her physical needs either. It's what her mind tells her and her heart knows... :D
     
  4. Gul Dukat

    Gul Dukat Kanar, anyone?

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    Well we are all animals, after all.
    But it is our wits that make us men.
     
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  5. everything bagel

    everything bagel Banned

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    Some men are so hilariously fragile
     
  6. Gul Dukat

    Gul Dukat Kanar, anyone?

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    *ego falls apart at slightest hint of criticism*
     
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  7. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    i don't know, i sucked at getting dates long before dating apps or #metoo.
     
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  8. Meliai

    Meliai Banned

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    I guess it's been a while since I've been in the dating world
    But like, arent we past this idea that men have to be the ones to pursue anyways? Back in my single days I never had an issue approaching a guy if I thought he was cute. I preferred it actually, because it allowed me to weed through the douchey guys who approached me and zero in on the one guy in the room I thought I could vibe with

    Also as far as dating apps, it seems like my single friends use it solely for hook ups but when it comes to pursuing something more meaningful they generally still rely on meeting guys the more old fashioned way, through mutual friends or work or out at bars or whatever (although bars are a terrible place to meet people. Can confirm)
     
  9. everything bagel

    everything bagel Banned

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    Dating apps are like 90% men. Too many women have been burned on apps like tinder. I tried it for 5 minutes got all kinds of invitations to join couple in bed, married women looking to have their 1st lesbian encounter, dudes who thought all I needed was a guy to fuck me right... I dont recall ever being propositioned for an actual date. You seem like too decent a person to be associated with that crowd. Besides with your comedic chops your best bet is going to be to just start talking to someone
     
  10. guerillabedlam

    guerillabedlam _|=|-|=|_

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    Dating via websites has been around my entire adult life, so I don't really have any basis for comparison as to what dating was like prior.

    If the alternative is bars, then it's basically a choice between unreal expectations and filters by the way of technology or unreal expectations and filters by the way of imbibing alcohol.
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2020
  11. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    that's what women say, but then they never actually act on it.

    thanks. i actually had some luck with dating sites a few years ago, but the whole scene seems to have gone way downhill lately.
     
  12. Gul Dukat

    Gul Dukat Kanar, anyone?

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    For what it's worth, dating apps aren't exactly a haven for guys either.
    Yeah... That old trick where a lady takes her photo while she’s kinda looking upward in order to try and hide the fact she's grossly overweight but doesn't want it to show? Yeah that sucks when you're on the other end of that and roll up to meet them and get that sinking feeling in your stomach like you just been played.
     
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  13. everything bagel

    everything bagel Banned

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    I dont understand why people do that. If you're gonna alter who you really are and then put yourself in a position where someone will see who you really are, what's the endgame here? I mean you're starting off by lying. Where are you supposed to go after that?
     
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  14. Boozercruiser

    Boozercruiser Kenny Lifetime Supporter

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    I think it most certainly has.
    I would not want to be a young guy now trying to flirt or say really nice and complementary things to a Woman.
    Trying on a kiss or any sort of affectionate touching could end up with charges of assault if one of the sexism Women are on the receiving end.
    One has to be SO careful what one says now, and any cheeky remarks are out.

    Political correctness and sexism and the me too bandwagon is ruining romance I feel, and the fun of flirting is very dangerous nowadays.
     
  15. Asmodean

    Asmodean Slo motion rider

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    ^
    It's not that bad in my experience :)
     
  16. lode

    lode Banned

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    I'm all for not sexually harassing women and pro-women being the initiator in straight relationships. But I think if I waited for women to initiate, I'd be as lonely as the fictitious guys six is posting about.
     
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  17. Gul Dukat

    Gul Dukat Kanar, anyone?

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    She was on her phone half the time and posting pictures of us together on snap chat. It was all rather degrading, if I may be so blunt.
     
  18. everything bagel

    everything bagel Banned

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    I think we sometimes think men cant be degraded or sexualized or used and it's just not true. Be blunt
    Then pass blunt! :)
     
  19. soulcompromise

    soulcompromise Member HipForums Supporter

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    I hooked up one time from the web and went in totally blind.
     
  20. Gul Dukat

    Gul Dukat Kanar, anyone?

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    Uh... thats actually really great to hear you say.

    And no one is going to reasonably argue women don’t suffer the lion’s share of being degraded et al., but it’s nice when it is acknowledged it happens to men too.
     

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