guys with a gentle soul

are there any guys on here who feel like they have a more feminine than masculine soul? i'm not talking about necessarily wanting to crossdress or literally become a woman. just maybe prefer a more assertive woman who doesn't always wait for him to take the initiative in a relationship...a guy who isn't put off by a strong woman as long as she isn't domineering.

 

I have the nurturing gender bit flipped to the female ON position. In hunter/gatherer cultures the men had to be somewhat heartless, they couldn’t afford to go “oh poor little mastodon baby…” and have the whole tribe starve. But now it is nothing but a caveman anachronism that harms both society and men themselves. It is the reason why men die younger and women live longer. After becoming too old to hunt the old men were just a drain on the tribe, whereas older ladies just get better and better at nurturing and child rearing, like an aging fine wine.

I believe that in healthy relationships women should get there way 90% of the time and men should get there way only 10% of the time. However, I think that when a nurturing man does assert his prerogative it should be the final word. The 10% is over the big matters. But, I am no macho chauvinistic misogynist. My comments only refer to men of aristocrat and refined sensibilities who have the nurturing gender bit flipped to the female ON position, or to men who willingly submit to the good advice of such a man.

Nurturing is not the only gender bit flipped for aristocratic males. Aristocratic men of every race also have female eyes. The eyes of male cavemen are sunken in to avoid getting kicked out by big game, even though it does reduce peripheral vision. All aristocratic men have forward set eyes that appear quite large compared to the inset smaller eyes of male commoners. This “female” physical trait has a strong correlation with the inherited “female” psychological trait of nurturing in men.

Anyway, I love babies and children and I always end up being the designated baby sitter, even if I have to fight for the title (that happened only once).

On the other hand, women are the deadliest sex, and having the female nurturing trait turns men into something profoundly more ferocious than ordinary men. Thus, aristocratic men have, throughout all of history, been the masters of warfare and defense of their homeland from foreign invaders.

Although the dragon is the symbol of hyper-masculinity, especially in oriental culture, there is something profoundly cat-like about a dragon, even as it has all the masculine qualities of a canine, like loyalty and selfless love. Having these extra feminine traits in an otherwise masculine man actually makes him hyper-masculine and not in the least bit effeminate or effete.

 

I am "feminine" in that I am very caring and loving
yet my girlfriend is extremely submissive, so I usually have to take the initiative
though, I am trying to help her to do this more, so that she can be happier

 

gentleness and nurturing qualities make a guy very attractive i think, but i hear from guys that women don't like it...that they have to hide this side of themselves or women are turned off by it. i was wondering what guys on this site have experienced.

 

When I was very young black girls in Atlanta would come too me and comfort me with soft words and gentle stroking of my hair. My family was racists so I could not, even in my rebellious youth, consider taking one of them as my lover, though that means nothing to me now at 40.

When in college my white girlfriends would recoil in my spells of deep sadness, fearful that they would be overwhelmed by my inner being. This has left me with a distaste for women of my own race. White women are profoundly contumacious, expecting everything in return for nothing in terms of emotional comfort. As such, I look for girls of another culture that are more submissive, and yet better appreciate my fiery spirit that attacks everything that is selfish and perverse in greed of self desire.

 

I should add that I have nothing against women of my own race, if she is comforting, gentle and thinks of our needs as a couple first, rather than her desires alone.

 

I think this tends to happen to younger guys mostly
girls seem to think guys are suppossed to be assholes, from what they see on tv or soemthing, idunno

 

i find those guys are just more afraid of what other guys think
i'm very much a gentle loving soul & proud of it & i have not 1 but 2 amazing wives who are both amazing loving souls themselves
i think the difference is the other type people look firstr for a physical connection ..oh shes sexy ..oh hes hot..lets get together & hope its not pure hell..while the more caring souls look 1st for the soul connection then let the physical develop naturaly ourt of that
the 1st way naturaly is easier, right? i mean in any given room theres 1 or mpore people you could find physicaly attractive, hit on hope to get into bed & maybe end up hap[pily or miserably in a relationship
while the other way takes alot more toime to really connect with some1 compatable that u could spend time with confortably
so you have these somewhat sensative guys, who feel they need to hide that sensativity & act all macho aloof or shallow thinking that is the only way to get a girlfreind & then wonder why they always end up with some1 they cant stand
theyre not being themselves theyre acting a part & getting only girls who respond to that part..which arent the type girls they should be with
yea the sex maybe more steady, but not the happiness

 

Hope you're right on that. =/
I wouldn't change myself for anyone, but, so far the old addage 'nice guys finish last' has deffinately applied. For the time being I've given up on relationships. After my last one failed so miserably. Just can't take any more failed relationships, being taken advantage of...

Though I wouldn't say I have a feminine soul as such. It's just me. Who I am. Not sure you can class anything as feminine or masculine...seems a hard to define split. Unless someone can explain it? =) As for a wanting a more assertive woman? Not sure. I mean, someone who knows their own mind, and well, their say has as much importance as mine, so...*shrugs*...

 

i think it's more that society defines every trait as masculine or feminine. which does this list of traits evoke in your mind?

gentle
soft-spoken
kind
loving
nurturing
caring
supportive

 

Yeah. I'd say that loosely defines my personality...I'm a romantic though, so, well, I mean doesn't that encompass that range of personality without it being feminine? I don't know...I'm often told I'm soppy... =S >.< Still...I don't know. I'd agree though with others who've said that sort of thing just doesn't seem to appeal to women...I mean, I make friends really easily, because I'm...while not perfect...not a bad sorta person. =/ Over all. Well, there're worse people out there anyway, but, while they're good traits for making friends, just...anyway, I'm young yet...I hope things change when I get a bit older. =(

 

i think part of the problem is that women don't want to pursue men, and if a man is passive he has to be pursued. most women feel a need to have their own attractiveness validated by being the pursued. so alot of great guys who have traits women actually would like in a mate end up alone. as far as true love goes, i can't imagine feeling i had found it with any other kind of guy because those are the kind of traits i value most highly in any human being. i think it's worth it to be the pursuer...definitely. yet oddly enough, sometimes guys will reject women for pursuing them too...it gets confusing.

 

Hmm, see, that's a lot of my problems. I have a very negative self opinion, and, well, my parents broke a lot of my will, not intentionally, but by forcing me to be something I'm not, well, I was given very little free will. =/ So...now...I just get really scared around new people, and I never really think of asking someone out, because I just know that they'll say no...even though I can't actually know...I feel as if I know what they'll say.

 

thats kinda interesting cause in my relationsghip there was never any1 persuing anyone we were just there for eachother
1st with aura when she wasnt feeling well & then we jusdt started talking & never stopped then when i was feeling really down along came kaylee & helped me through it & in the end we all 3 just were happy together, noone ever had to take on any agressiver role of persuer or the other role of oh look at me im so desireable dont u want me
i think for every woman who feels the need to be pursued theres 5 more who are tired of always being pursued by every guy they meet
if u take that whole pursuite situation out of the equation & its just minds meeting, souls crossing paths & forimng emotional bonds then theres no need for every man to hit on every woman they see or for women to fear going certain places cause how theyde be treated, & a real bond can form, ..i think theres already far too much pursuing going on & nowhere near enough connecting

 

well, pursue may be too strong a word...lets say taking an a more active role. alot of times opportunities to spend time with someone you're interested in don't just fall in your lap. you have to create them.

 

I think in most cases, it is more of that they can't find girls, to respond to them much at all and are starting to give up on themselves
so they justify trying to be more like the other guys they see

 

Too much f^cking acid!

Do you submit to your woman pathetically, or do you submit too your woman in a masculine way that still gives you final authority?

That is the real God damned f^cking question here.

Are you a chauvinist or a chivalrest? Are you a chauvinist pig, or are you a man who submits when it is her prerogative, but is still able to retain final authority when it should truly be a man’s decision?

Wake the f^ke up or shut the f^ke up. Are you a man or a waste case? I grow weary of this nonsense.

 

Yes and no. Do I love confident and assertive women? Yes. Do I feel like I am generally very caring and nurturing? Yes. But at the same time, I know how to take care of myself and I learned at a young age that no one cares as much about my well-being as I do. Not my parents, friends, teachers, no one.

Sometimes, that whole "taking care of myself" things means I have to be very assertive myself, even to the point of being kind of an asshole. I don't want to be an asshole, and I even hate myself sometimes for being that way but I just feel like it can be a necessity for my own survival and well-being. But the truth is, I really really want to have someone special to take care of and do everything I possibly can do for our mutual happiness. I just keep my guard up because I know that there are many who would take advantage of my true nature if I let them, so I have to be very particular about who I show caring feelings for. Which results in a whole lot of loneliness.

 

My true love, assert yourself against this pathetic crap.

You will submit too a man that is truly masculine and god like, but only if He agrees in return to submit too You in all matters of feminine prerogative. You are a True Goddess who spits at the pathetic declarations of whoosey pussy boys that pathetically prostrate themselves in a disgusting attempt for Your magnificent love.

My Goddess, I am yours. I am the God of recompense, as all men of true worth are a God too their one true Goddess.

 

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkk psycho alert
hahaha dude.... i know your type
let me guess...you dont got noone now..your last girl planned her escape for months & disapeared in the middle of the night, changed her name & was never heard from again
your over 40..im guessing..hmm at least 3 restraining orders by now huh? guesss your ways workin pretty well for ya huh?.