Guys, I need some advice about my sorta-lousy dad to be

So...I'm having a baby with my ex boyfriend. Didn't know I was pregnant until after the breakup. When I found out, he was one of the first people I told. (I was at a friend's house, so they obviously knew before him ) He's known for over a month now and.....nothing.

He's seemed to be getting things in place; got a fulltime job, a bigger place, and a better mode of transportation. It sort of ends there.

His problem is that he's more interested in everything else: his friends, some new fuck buddy he decided to get, everything. I can barely get him to even contact me, unless I tell him that I'm moving out of state. (I really have that planned, just no set date in mind.)

As soon as I say anything along the lines of leaving or whatever, he gets all pissy, threatens to call a lawyer, sends his family on my tail, etc. I'm getting mixed signals. When everything's ok, I don't hear from him (but I hear about what he's doing) but as soon as it's not, it's WWIII and I'm being threatened with a big custody battle. It pisses me off. Sure, be interested in the baby as soon as mommy thinks about leaving. :cuss: I really have myself in a fit. He knows I can't afford vitamins and all the other stuff I need to take, but he hasn't helped me at all. But like I said.....once I want to leave, all hell breaks loose.

What's a girl to do?? :banghead:

 

Beat him to the punch. Go to your local health dept./family planning clinic. They might be able to hook you up with cheap or free prenatal care, and if you explain your situation, they may be able to refer you to where you can get solid legal advice on what your rights are in this situation.

In the meantime, keep documentation on how much you pay for baby things (including and especially medical care!), how much money you make, and if this ends up going to court, you'll have proof that he hasn't done shit.

Take care of yourself, eat right, make sure you're getting enough iron & folic acid, and breathe. If you've got support (family, friends, clergy, etc.), make sure you're talking to them. If you don't, see if your health department offers free parenting classes; it's a good way to meet other first-time parents.

I wish you and your little one the best. Good luck.

 

the guys not worth it. take charge of your own life. make him be the one who loses ,not the baby. you can raise the baby without him,just have faith in yourself. do you really want your baby to grow up in that kind of enviroment

 

Since this is the mens issues forum, I thought one of us guys ought to throw in his 2 cents in. So far the ladies are covering the bases pretty good.
I am so down on "dead beat dads", if your babys father trys to blow the whole thing off, go for the throat. The courts are on your side.
Take care of yourself and dont get too stressed out, its not good for you or the baby.
................................Dennis.........................

 

Alaskan is right, the courts are on your side. (Sometimes that can be unfortunate for non dead beat dads). His threats of a custody battle are a joke. Take Rue Takedo's advice and get some prenatal care and take care of business.

 

You want a man's confirmation that your ex is acting like a twit? OK, you've got mine.

Take care of yourself, take care of the kid and get a court order for child support. Even if he says he'll take care of things, well, you see how reliable his word is. And, when the time comes, remember that his lawyer is HIS lawyer. Before signing anything that his lawyer wrote, have YOUR lawyer check it out.

 

He sounds like he doesn't want anything to do with you or the baby. Right now, before he can do anything about it, move. There is nothing stopping a pregnant woman from moving.

 

It sounds like he's not going to take responsibility and he's threatening you with the legal matters. Take charge of the situation because it sounds like you can take care of it.

What do your parents think about it? Have you talked to them about it?

 

punch him in the balls

 

because how is this a mens issue?????

 

The original poster was looking for serious advice and help on how to cooperate her life/family with her man and her own personal situation.

You seemed to have missed the "serious" part of the original post, as your own advice ronald mcdonald was to physically punch her man in the testicals.

Try to think of men's issues as being something serious. Please Try Again.

 

This is her issue it doesnt relate to all men, its like saying "hey I need to discuss this issue that relates to all men, so do you think I should bank with Halifax"?

 

What is your point exactly?

You aren't supposed to post anything that is off topic to the thread and derail the topic.

Maybe you should read the rules again, since you are new and all.

You've been spamming people's threads and trolling them making posts that are off topic, for your own purposes because your stupid thread was closed to begin with.

Get a life, please.

 

So why do you want a relationship with the sperm donor? You sure do not want to marry that loser do you? What a major mistake that would be... unless you like being under some mans total control. He is not marriage material.
If you are not absolutely sure about it, then after you have the baby, but before you send it out for adoption, have a paternity test and be sure he is the sperm donor.

If not then you can reconsider your options.

 

Ronald it is a mens issue because men have problems with their sex partners getting with child rather often. She might be looking for a male perspective, and it might be interesting to see different male perspectives on the issue.

 

See if they have legal aid where you live and get a free or cheap lawyer.