Guy girl something like that!

I'm a guy physically but a girl mentally. I like girls. I am not gay because I can't stand men. I have many lezbian friends. If there is such thing as reincarnation I would like to come back as a girl and love a girl. I would want to be a cute girl, not a big or manlike girl. I would want to love a cute girl.
Is this a wierd situation? Are there any others like me? Sometimes gay guys have hit on me and I've told them I'm a lezbian and I like girls! That really screws their day!
Sometimes I act like a girl in manerisms and walk. I say "ewww" like girls. But I cannot stand men. Don't even want to go there. So I am a guy in a physical body with the mind and desires of a girl who is lezbian. Does any of this make sense???

 

yes. this is a really specialised kind of experience u r having and u could benefit by talking 2 other ppl going thru the same or similar. do u know ocean bird? she would be a good person 4 u to get in touch with.

 

No I don't know anyone on this forum yet. And I don't cross dress or have a desire for sex change, but wish sometimes I was born a girl. When I was 12 to maybe 18 I would sometimes secretly dress in womens clothes and it was a turn on. Sometimes I will still put on panties. But my attraction is totally for women. Maybe that's why some women have said I'm a good lover because I treat them more like another woman would in that aspect, and I have also had relations with at least 3 women who were lezbians - or bisexual. They all told me most guys were useless in bed and only cared about getting themselves satisfied, leaving the partner unfullfilled. I tend to have the sex drive of a woman, whereas I guess most guys are spent after one or maybe two times.

 

I also feel that I'm a woman in a male body; and I like men and women, regardless of their gender. I too share the desire for reincarnation; though I only wish to carry a child, truthfully.

It's perfectly normal; gender is how one see's themselves, sex is just what someone's body is like. I am one of a large amount of other people like you; I can put you into contact with communities that are online if you like.

It makes perfect sense; I was taught to repress and hide my mannerisms when I was young; I began to question it when I was 7 and almost came out about it when I was 14. I even picked out a name and everything before entering a painful 3-year long period of questioning. I've refined my mannerisms to the way I feel they should be, and I understand a wide range of emotions on both the male and female side.

I'm only 17 and I live as a woman in part-time (exclusive of certain events and affairs). I do desire such transition; it's understandable that it's not for everyone.

Exactly; my male libido is practically non-existant. It's awesome that you are open with the women you have dated; and I share that idea to a certain extent. It's nice to meet you; you sound like someone who is very interesting.

 

Ocean Bird, thanks for the response. I'm glad I picked the blonde avatar now cuz I almost picked the purple hair girl! I always hid these secrets from my male friends when I ws younger. Now I really have no real male friends. aquaintences aonly and not many. My relationship with males is very superficial and we talk about superficial things - except for a few online who are more open. My relationship & conversation with girls gets very deep. I have a lot of lezbian friends that don't want anything to do with guys (male physical gender) but I think they might change if they met guys who were girls emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Some lezbians are guy-phobic because they've been hurt my regular guys. And a lot of guys who are girls in the way I mentioned only like other guys. I'm not into guys at all as far as attraction & sex. The one guy I experimented with at 15 was very feminine and cute. Give him longer hair and boobs and he'd pass easily for a cute girl. He even had a curvy butt and nice full girl lips & girl eyes. Even with all that he was still a male physically so I ended the activities which was mainly him giving me oral sex. I tried it on him once but didn't like it so I stopped.

 

It sounds like you might very well be a transsexual...a lesbian in a man's body.

I'm reluctant to label anyone's situation as weird. However, I have no way of knowing just how common your situation is. All I can do from here is wish you happiness.

 

Well, I feel much the same way as you do, except in reverse. I think I'm a gay man trapped in a lesbian's body. I look like a chick. I think like a guy. I like guys. REALLY like guys. But I like girls, too. o_o I don't even try to understand it. I just take it how it is. I don't really consider getting a sex change or any of that, but I'm definitely a guy at heart.

 

That's unfortunate; I've remained quiet about myself until only two months ago. I dropped hints, EVERYWHERE, and nobody ever picked them up... not even when I nearly came out when I was 14. I find that the physical sex of someone is of no real matter; I am mainly interested in mind and spirit.

I have friends that are both male and female who are extremely deep. I have friends of all kinds... gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual; points in between... but, I don't know any fellow tgs offline (which should change shortly). I think it'd make sense for a lesbian to love another lesbian who happened to have a penis; afterall, when you fall in love with someone, it's not solely for their body (if at all...).

That's too bad; it sounds like he was a nice person though. I'm just looking for a spirit out there that I can both give love and receive love from. I don't know where I will find it; so, I don't get hung-up on someone's body. But, I do seldom find an attraction that I desire to pursue; I guess I'm just a bit too picky. I love both masculine and feminine spirits; they both have qualities I like. I never worry about someone's body, because, I hope that they won't worry about mine...

 

I was just mainly describing the type of body I am attracted to. I know it's the inner soul, the mind & spirit that matters most. Sometimes it gets very confusing! At work, or school, or in public one must always be careful what they say and how they act. If for nothing else to avoid rummors and whispers in the locker room! I did tell one of my best male friends about what I did at 15. This was like when we were 30 something. He actually confessed he had done the same and had experimented with another guy when he was a teenager. I would have never guessed! This guy is all macho and used to get in lots of fights. He boasted of having just about every chick in town, and I can be a witness that most of that is probably true because it seemed just as soon as there was a free girl my friend would snatch her up somehow!
Ocean Bird, you sure you're only 17? You sound more like your in my age category. But then again I've had many friends in their late teens and early 20s who are on a mental & spiritual level far beyond people my own age or older. I think when people just go with the flow of the stereotypical world they lose something, or actually, more like they never gain what they could have so are missing out on something. Open minds can be filled and the overflow gives out great and beautiful things. Closed minds stagnate and what leeches out of them is often putrid in nature. I tried having a closed mind before but I have too much of a tendency to peek out doors and windows!

 

Sexual orientation relates to sex, so that makes sense. I feel attractions to both men and women's bodies; this is what could consider me bisexual. But, from my point of view, a relationship with a man is heterosexual and a relationship with a woman is homosexual. It sounds like you think somewhere along those lines.

I'm living as a part-time woman right now; I will go full time after I start hormone replacement therapy. So, the rumours may haunt me for some time; but, it'll eventually die down. I really don't care what other people think about me... it's not like they know what I think, anyway.

You know, my best friend; the one who's known me since I first questioned my gender, is very similar in behaviour. The truth is, he shared a few curious moments of intimancy with me, and I've been in love with him for many years. He identifies as a strict heterosexual though, and is quite feminine at times actually. It's just odd that he is similar to your friend; but, he doesn't act the same.

Again, that's my friend...

According to my birth certificate, I was born on September 28th, in 1987, at around roughly 4:30 p.m. So, yes, I'm sure I'm only 17. Thank you for the compliment; I tend to think I am mature, but many people sometimes fail to see it from my point of view. Well, I don't mean to boast, but I feel that I have a very deep understanding of both male and female emotions; and all points inbetween. I've been diagnosed with gender dysphoria after only meeting my therapist twice, so the last three years of my life were well spent in some way. After so much intrapersonal developement, I'm ready to stand up and recognize my potential. I haven't functioned anywhere near it for several years.

I embrace anything and everything; I am bewildered by every day life. I know that there is a purpose in my life. I may not know it, and I may never learn about it until I am dead, or maybe later than that even. All I know is I will serve a purpose; it may even be my death. But, if that is what happens, I will even embrace that; my tragedy would be someone else's lesson/inspiration/something. There's only one thing I truly want when my life ends, and that is to be remembered as a woman. I can't remember a time where I was close-minded; I mean, sure, I questioned things, but they never truly bothered me.

I know that I have potential; I've just been limited by my personal questions. Well, now that I've answered enough to move forward, I feel like I need to prove to myself that I am heading in the right direction. I don't know if this is a quality seen as mature, but I feel that it gives me a great sense of motivation. I am transitioning during my senior year of high school, when I could have done it as a freshman. I just took my time to figure things out.

So, now that I have seen someone for help on starting my transition, I can only be amazed at how far I've come from being a reclusive, intimidated and akward little girl who acted out like she was taught; to fully expressing herself and functioning well in a female gender role.

 

It sucks how society labels people when they have little to no understanding of diversity. Stupid psycholocical labels! Gender dysphoria - me gad! Well, I had some stupid labels thrown on me as a kid too, mainly to do with hyperactivity, which was later determined to be part of the "Indigo" phenomenon, if you've ever heard of that. Most hyper kids are really just gifted kids with a lot of energy and creativity. parents and teachers usually don't offer them the right outlets of _expression so these kids act out in school & at home. This usually leads to visits to the psychologist/psychiatrist, who attaches psych-nonsense labels to the "disorder," which is really no disorder at all. In my case they didn't even know about the girl feelings, the dressing in girls underwear, etc.
Eww, you're doing the hormone thing to become a real girl all the way? If I were younger, you were older, or I was single.....but as long as you're a physical guy I can only admire your beautiful mind & inner spirit.
I often said the guy I was with at 15 would have made a cute girl and I often wondered if he ever did the hormone/sex change thing. One time believe it or not I saw this gorgeous girl about our age (in their 30's) who looked just like him facially. I was too embarassed to enquire though - like, you don't just go up to someone and say, "Excuse me, but did I know you as a boy 20 years ago?"

 

people will always have prejudices against you, but you just need to know that they don't matter, that all that matters is that you're happy, and love is genderless.

have fun

 

Indeed, I hate to refer to myself as "transgendered" or "gender dysphoric;" but, sometimes it's the simplest way to describe your situation. If anything, I'd call it a biological mishap.

You wouldn't believe the roller coaster I was on... When I lost the reinforcement of my male identity. I went into a depression because I was confused, lost; without a sense of self. I was placed on several medications, and had a manic episode because of the side effects of one of them (Lexapro). Then I was on bipolar medication (Lamictal) and sleep medication (Ambien) because I had insomnia. All of that went away when I finally accepted the fact that I was a woman; it wasn't that quick of a process, either.

That only came up recently for me; starting about 5 months ago. I began to dress differently, I played around with make-up; that sort of stuff... The thing I kept from my counselors was my self-injury. I physically manifested my sense of self-loathing by cutting on my left arm. At the time, it seemed impulsive; but now, I understand it. Something that none of the counselors had a clue about...

It is hard for me to tolerate parts of being born the way I am; puberty was confusing and terrifying. One of the reasons I want to take horomnes is so that I can access my emotions fully. I was actually numb for nearly two years prior to this one, and I've always been taught to repress my emotions. I grow frustrated when I feel something passionately, yet cannot express it. I mean, I was taught to keep a level head; which is great, but I want to be able to empathize with others.

I just don't like my body; I'm comfortable with it, but I loathe what it is. It causes me much anguish to think of the unfair cruelty I've been dealt; but I sometimes figure that I have it for a reason. But, I have experienced what it is like to grow up as a male; I only desire to know what it is like to be a woman. I want to embrace the desires I've had for over a decade; it's a matter of a personal quest for peace, really. There are parts of myself that I can barely stand to recognize anymore; mostly out of fear of ostracizement.

I've wanted to fit in just like everyone else, and I don't with my current situation. I mean, I appreciate it, but I want to have a real life test of living as a woman to experience acceptance, tolerance, compassion and the lack there of. I guess what I'm saying is, I wouldn't be transitioning if it didn't feel right. I now love my body; it's just something I have. If it's appearance left the spirit within unprejudiced, I would probably decide to just leave it unchanged. I would love it if people just saw me as I am and referred to me as such; but I get odd looks at times, people who whisper behind my back. I don't like receiving attention in that way... it makes me feel insecure and usually does damage to my self-image.

Very true; I often times wonder if such an event may occur if I continue on this path.

 

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I am in a male body but i am a girl none the less inside of me is a girl who just wants to get out and be herself female all the way and very probaly very girly also.

I like girls to and if and when i was to become one would still perfer my own sex over males the only reason females still need males is to ahve chilren with after that we can get along perfectly with our own sex and we do be it called being lesbain or what have you labels mena very little realy you are what you are and loving your won sex is nothing wrong especaily for us females.

Oh well I just want to be one that's all for now being a girl is special

Suzy!