My mate suffered a TBI from an MVA going on 4 years ago, which caused her SLE to blossom. She's chronically ill and in pain, which she blames on the death rays from our WiFi. The neighbors are bombarding us with microwaves. Their satellite dishes are absorbing energy from the power lines and focusing energy beams at us. Our neighbor is a 'Professor Moriarty' style evil genius, everyone else her evil minions; the communicate with each other through the street lights. They have shot her several times with top-secret energy weapons provided by Mexican drug cartels; after getting shot in the head with a ray gun, she cut off all her hair to better visualize the wound. Once beautiful and smiling, she's now gone full gremlin. She used to get so angry at me for not believing her and refusing to participate in her delusions, she'd quickly escalate up to full-volume blind-rage, primal-scream mode; when verbal, she'd scream the most vicious, hateful things at me. Our doctor twice felt it necessary to have the 'domestic violence' talk with me, concerned she was moving from verbal and emotional battering to physically attacking me. She's threatened to kill herself, kill neighbors, kill our pets. With treatment, she's a bit better now, but I'm not. I'm just so thoroughly crushed inside, I feel broken; I can't sleep without Trazodone and am constantly on the knife-edge of tears. Antidepressants are completely inadequate. My stomach's perpetually upset, I'm always short of breath and I get chest pains now. Looking at pictures of us just guts me; not so very long ago she was so vivacious and happy; now it seems like another lifetime. There's no going back; no more happy times, no hope of anything ever getting better, and every moment feels like I'm about to walk into an ambush; every time she starts babbling about 'Buck Rogers' ray guns I can't help but cringe and cower inside; half-expecting her to suddenly go all 'Linda Blair' on me. I can barely maintain, and can't bear to think of the future beyond next week's doctor's appointments. I can't even remember what having a lover was like, and I'll never, ever have another; no way I'd ever go through this again. I just feel so horrible inside; sometimes it physically hurts. I grieve for her; for all of her fear and pain, none of which I can relieve or assuage in the slightest; grieve for what we once were, and all we've lost. The holiday season just make everything so much worse. All I want to do is cry.
Since our brain controls our entire body, emotional upset sends it into overdrive, releasing hormones at all the wrong times. Antidepressants may seem to help, but in realty are making things worse, while numbing us to them at the same time. You need to both stop taking the medication, by slowly reducing it and your past happiness will slowly return. Needless to say, if your partner has a real physical problem, it will need to be discussed with her doctor.
