Guide to smoking and not getting caught

I took this from Totse.com I thought you guys might like it


http://www.totse.com/community/showthread.php?t=2075625&highlight=guide+caught+smoking



So youve picked up the nasty habit of smoking while you still live with your parents who dont allow it. I know you get those extreme urges to smoke when it isnt possible to leave the house to smoke. So, you need to know how to smoke in your room and not get caught.

First thing is timing. Make sure to do it at a time when you know your parents wont come knocking on your door. The best time when while your parents are sleeping. But say you want to smoke in the middle of the day. First check out what your parents are doing. Make sure they are occupied with something that doesnt require your presence. One of the worst things that can happen is your mom to call your name or knock at your door when you are in the middle of smoking, but Ill cover that later. Also make sure they arent out in the yard. You will want to make sure you have at least 10- 15 minutes to be safe.

Now that youve made sure your parents wont come looking for you, you have to prepare your room. Youll need to get rid of that smell. If you dont have a fan, then acquire one. Open your window and position the near it so that it is blowing outside. Ill explain what this is for later. Now, if you have incense, burn one before you smoke, while you smoke, and after you smoke to cover up the smell as well as possible. Also, keep a pop can that is 1/4- halfway full near where youll be smoking. Again, Ill explain this later. Now that your room is prepared, youll need to know the precautions to take while smoking.

Before you light the cigarette, make sure youve got some incense burning and your fan tuned on facing outside. Once it is lit, keep the cigarette near the back of the fan. Youll notice that the smoke gets sucked through the fan and is expelled outside. Exhale smoke into the fan as well so that it gets blown outside. As for ashing, only ash out of the window if your parents never go outside on that side of the house, because youll be fucked if our parents find ashes right outside of your window. If you cant ash out of the window, then keep an ashtray hidden in your room somewhere and ash into that. When youre done with the cigarette, simply put it out in the ashtray. Make sure you hide you ashtray somewhere good where it wont be found. Next time your parents leave, make sure to empty the ashtray somewhere outside where your parents wont find the butts and ashes.

Back up a little bit. Youre halfway done with your cig, everythings going good, and all of the sudden your mom comes knocking at your door. Youre fucked, right? Not if you follow these steps.

Stay calm. If you panic you wont be able to think clearly. First thing you do is say "Hold on a second, Im getting dressed." This will buy you a minute to clean up. First thing you do is drop your cigarette into the pop can, so that it extinguishes and is hidden. Turn the fan off and move it from in front of the window. Then close the window quietly, but do it fast. You dont want her to hear you closing a window. As for the ashtray, try to find a quick hiding spot where it wont be visible from the door. If there are no spots, then just shove it in your pocket. Now double check to make sure that nothing is suspicious. Now its time to face your mom.

First say, "Alright, come on in." She will try to open the door, but it will be locked. She will tell you that its locked, and then shell ask why it is locked Your response will be something like "It is? Yeah, my door handle has been messed up lately; sometimes it locks on its own when I shut the door." Say this as you are opening up the door. Try to stand right in the doorway so she doesnt walk in, but dont make it look like youre trying to hide something. If she asks about the smell, simply say it is the incense. This is why you need to burn them beforehand as well; if you just burn one while you smoke it might not be enough to cover up the cigarette smell. If she says that it smells like cigarettes, dont panic, just tell her that your friends have said the same thing, and thats just the way they smell.

Okay, so you followed these steps, and then she says "Alright, dont lie, I know youre up to something." What Im going to tell you to say is embarrassing but its better than admitting that you were smoking. Say "Alright mom, you caught me. I was masturbating. I was embarrassed to tell you so I lied." At this point, she will probably just say "ohh, um, okay" and feel really awkward and just walk away. So now youre mom thinks she just caught you jerking it. Its embarrassing, but its better than her catching you smoking right?

Just follow these steps, dont be stupid, and use some common sense and youll now be able to successfully smoke in your room.

 

ya know... if ya write a "smoking and not getting caught" article.. ya might as well write a "how to wipe your own ass" article as well.. because they both come down to the same thing... common sense

 

Yah, I know, but, you would be surprised how clueless some people are.

 

thats a lot of dirty asses.. i try not to think about such things lol

 

See, thats what I was trying to do. Make this place cleaner and less rank.

 

The whole masturbation thing made this worth while.

 

it may be common sense, but ya gotta admit.. there are a ton of threads titled "how do i smoke in my room without getting caught?" and "i got caught smoking in my room". we might need this thread haha