guidance needed... (long. you've been warned.)

x

 

If you have feelings for her like truly, then you shouldn't give up, but if she turns you down then it's best to just move on, don't worry you'll find someone better

 

Well at this point I think I'm always gonna have feelings for her, just can't seem to avoid it

I gave up any hope of having a relationship with her a long time ago, however. It wouldn't work anyway since I'm leaving town in less than 2 months and I'm hoping not to return, while she's stuck here for several more years due to school and family and such.

However, I do want to stay friends with her (even after all she's put me through heh). It's not an issue of her 'turning me down' in that department.. in person we're great together, we love eachother as friends and as people and we aren't afraid to tell eachother that. She works alot though, and I usually have a hell of a time getting hold of her. And then her friends complicate matters more.. I don't care for those people and would be happy if I never saw or spoke to them again.

 

My opinion: you are attracted to her because most men (and women) want what they can't have. She is obviously not emotionally accessible and not wanting to date you enough to take the proper steps.
If she really really wanted to date you, she would have gotten rid of C (i think...the guy that was a jackass at the bar that wanted to have coffee with her) as soon as she knew you had feelings for her.

Maybe she is just nervous, and that is why she brought her friends. I'm not sure what would posses her to do that, because it sounded like you asked her out on a date, but hey, people get confused.

I would try to stay in contact with her, because there is obviously something special about her that you recognize. But don't hold on to the past with her. Find a new girl friend, have a quick fuck, whatever you would like to do, then go ahead and do it. I would stay casual friends, but try to let go of the romantic aspect of it.

I hope this helps... if you like what i had to say, feel free to ask me something else, and i am always more than willing to help.

best of luck to you in your new town.






edit: i read what eagle wrote, and realized something.
you are simply upset because you didn't get any.
Which usually is a pretty dick move, but you have never even been kissed and you are out of high school, and most likely college (if you went).
it sucks....i know. one of my best friends is 22 and still a virgin.
just try to be kind, understanding, and it will happen. Maybe you'll even meet a woman that you love Maybe where you are moving is just the place!

 

whoa ok
that took awhile to get through and was interupted by a phone call so might hafta reread (ghasp) some if wasnt summed up nicely in the last paragraph

but basicly your pissed cause ya culdt take her into the wods get her drunkand bang her..

1st ya were pissed becase she let c treat her like shit which u didnt even try to talk to her about as a freind even
then your pissed cause you couldnt treat her like shit
theres alotta anger and you need to let it go treat her or some1 good if ya wanna get kissed then for gods sake stop treatting her like a possetion and treat her like a person
you arent even with her yet you try to control wyho she spends time with
you get bitchy evertme she doesnt spend a minute with ya

not sayin your all at fault but
u gotta treat ppl right to get kissed
u havent yet been kissed yet u expect to have sex in the woods drunk?
rape?

 

srry was harsh


but u neeeeeeeeed to learn to communicate without anger


communicating without alcahol would help

thres definaly allotta pent up frustration anger and resentment


if you hope to get what you want..be freinds or more then you gotta stop being so angry towards her

 

First lemme say my intention was not to 'get her into the woods drunk and bang her.' I had no plans on drinking at all that day. When I found out L was coming I had a couple before they arrived to help me deal with her (yeah, bad idea, I know. i also realize i sound like an alcoholic, but i rarely drink). J had the idea to get beer to take down there, and we weren't drinking to get drunk. We didn't have enough beer for that anyway We were in the woods because we both enjoy spending time down there, and lately it's just been getting warm and dry enough to go sit down there again.

As for why L was there- J hasn't seen either of us in awhile.. we both just happened to give her a call around the same time, so we ended up all getting together on her first day off. hell I have the facebook messages to prove it heh. The three of us used to hang out quite a bit, so she didn't see a problem with it (and I wouldn't expect her to). But truthfully, I don't like L much and mostly tolerated her for J's sake. I was pissed because I knew L was going to bitch and moan the whole time we were there, and want to leave as soon as we got there. And I was right. Believe me, it wasn't an issue of comfort. We've spent tons of time alone and I never made a move on her or did anything to make her feel uncomfortable (besides act like a douche yesterday..)

And my dislike for C wasn't purely out of jealousy or anything. He was a genuine douche. I'm not gonna go into why, but I'll jsut say that he had quite a reputation at school a couple years ago, and that he seriously threatened to send a friend of mine (and J's) to the hospital over nothing that concerned either of them.

Regardless, I never tried to control who J hung out with or when...

Bleh. I know I acted like a jackass, I said that in the first post.. You gotta believe me though, I'm a good guy =/ I've treated J like gold for as long as we've been friends, and I have a feeling she'd testify to that if she were here.

What makes you think that? I certainly did. Many times. Yes, as a friend.


I'm just gonna go ahead and hang my head in shame and delete the OP. There's a lot more to the situation than I'm able to reasonably post here, but I hope you'll believe me when I say I honestly have been the good guy throughout almost all of this. Yesterday was a lapse in judgement I suppose. I don't even know if sex really was my intention at all, thinking maybe I was just making excuses to myself (and a buddy of mine who doesn't believe she's worth my time, too i suppose)to give her a call again. I don't know.

Thanks for the responses

 

i was harsh i tend to be blunt and to tye point

c odviosly was a problem i could tell thwt right awayu and bad for her..l just a minor annoyance

but to me it seemed like boyth times just when she was getting around to spending time with ya youd get angry and blow her off

i know ya think "i desserve more attention then this" or something and ya bein there for her ya do..
but the fuck you its too late now thing isnt helpin u any..
if u want another shot then call her be totaly honnest abouyt why ya were such a jerk, but be honnest bout how shes made you feel too
eithrr you'll find a way to be happy around or with eichothrr or realize u drive eaxhother crazy and should stay away
but find the time to talk about it alone

 

Well, I'm sure she's read the message I left her.. hasn't responded yet and I doubt she will. As I said she has a frustrating tendency to ignore any problems she has with friends/aquaintances/whatever and pretend they don't exist (not just with me either)

I tried to call her once right after all this happened, and once last night. She's ignoring my calls. Trying to contact her like that is just gonna add to that pent up frustration you were talking about heh

I could show up at her work, I know she works open-close certain days.. but I'm not about to do that. I don't want to put her on the spot in person like that, because I think she'd just feel cornered and be receptive and pretend everything is fine no matter how she really feels. She's very non-confrontational.

Just gonna try to forget about her.. can't keep hurting myself like this :/

Thanks a lot for taking the time to read all that and respond, I mean that