Grudges I'd like to start off by saying fuck you, for all of those who have fucked me, and fuck all of you in my future, who will fuck me as well. Fuck you, my brother, for exposing me to discust. Fuck you for how it has eaten away at my inside, thank you, today I'm nuts. Fuck you, my parents, for giving me that shovel, to dig and bury it all away. It felt good to hide it, I buried it in the ground, so hey yea, fuck me too, for doing it your way. Fuck you my friends, for never being there for me. Fuck you, for who you were, always putting people down, always laughing after judging, did you think I wouldn't leave? Fuck all my ex boyfriends, not mentioning your fucking names, Fuck you for feeding off my fearless spirit, and fuck you, for playing all of my games. Fuck me for letting that stranger take me home, for taking those pills and watching him unfold me. Rape? Yea, I guess, he didn't think I'd remember, But I did, and I do. Then they just sent me away, they didn't want to deal with it, they didn't want to see. I don't feel that I'm a good person, and I feel so ugly inside. Fuck me for this mistake, for it's changed my whole life. I'm a joke, a pathetic cry, I'm just a sad story, and I'm sorry that I tried. Fuck me for being influenced, for trusting people I thought I could, and letting it all turn out like this. Fuck me, I had a choice, and now look at me, I'm so confused and pissed. This mess I've made- I need to clean it up, and forgive myself and all of you. I'm letting go of these grudges to grow upward, and these broken bleeding walls, I'm on a bulldozer... Watch-as I bust right fucking through
What a very powerful piece! It sounds like you've had a rough time. I hope you can break down your walls and continue to grow in the light of your own strength.
