Group sex

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by quentin, May 19, 2004.

  1. quentin

    quentin Member

    It's my first post here with a big doubt. I'm male, married with a kid. Have great sex life with my wife. We are always willing to try something new and wild. This includes sex at strange places, on drugs, with toys, etc. There are our best friends, also a couple with a kid. We have great longterm friendly relation with them. Lately I found myself often talking with our friend (female) about sex and really intimate things. My wife is a very good friend with her, I am very good friend with her husband, but somehow deep intimate secrets are shared only between two of us. This has gone so far that we talked about everything what is in our mind, shared our fantasies. I gave her advises how to extend their sex life, she gave me, and eventually we become more and more hot for each other. As we are really good friends, both very faithfull to our partners, we confessed to each other that there is some chemistry between us, but we will cool off as we don't want to ruin our relationship. But we two still have this fantasy of having a groupsex together. I'm hot for her, she is hot for me and for my wife too. I want to see her husband with my wife, she wants to see him, and so on. Me and my wife are together for 15 years, there are together for more than 10 years. We are aware of all the possible bad and good things that this can bring. So far we said to each other that we will jerk off and cool our heads, but still keep fantasies open.

    I would appreciate any usefull advices from people who had been in there, I don't mean one night stands, but groupsex within people who are friends, who knows each other and who want's to stay best friends after this.
     
  2. David

    David Member

    I've tried group sex, swinging, etc., most of my experiences have gone well. The only advise I can give you is this, talk to your wife first ( don't mention your attraction to her girlfriend yet),and see how she feels about it generally. If she's against it, then since you said you have a happy relationship, then leave it alone.
     
  3. I couldn't lead group sex, if I chose the people I'd have group sex with it'd be all women. It'd be a skewed ratio. But I'd love to try group sex.
     
  4. kittykat

    kittykat Member

    My feeling about it -- don't do it. You have a great thing going in your life already. If you approach your wife with the subject, she'll know that you are attracted to another woman -- that may not go well with her if she's not into groups. Are you ready to deal with whatever happens as a result of this -- what if something beyond sex happens, like, your wife falls in love with the other guy; you fall in love with the other woman; ... anyways, think about it. It may be worth it if your wife is agreeable, but you are risking lots by asking that question.
     
  5. I recently had a 3sum and while it was very hot, I would never be able to do it if I was the one in a relationship. (I had sex with a couple) it's the kind of thing you should only ever do if you are single otherwise it creates a whole heap of problems.
     
  6. vanilla

    vanilla Member

    I agree..
    If I was single, then it wouldn't have mattered. However, I cannot do it if I was in a monogamus relationship. If I HAD to do it, then it would be with total strangers where I would never hear from them again and if one of us had feelings, we couldn't be able to follow up on them.
     
  7. My personal recommendation would definitely be AGAINST having any orgies. I mean, it's pretty well established that it's one of the best ways to destroy a relationship. True, some people can handle it just fine, but that's because they have that "swinger" mindset, and it really is "just sex". But, if the thought of imagining that other guy humping away on your wife while you watch bothers you in the least, then don't do it. Same thing with your wife. I'd say that even if she agrees to it and says it wouldn't bother her, you won't know for sure until the damage is done. You have been warned...and sorry if I'm sounding a little preachy but whatever...
     
  8. Mintaoism

    Mintaoism Member

    invite them over for dinner and shag em'. If you feel hot for this women then you shouldn't not tell your wife. maybe should would be interested
     
  9. firelip

    firelip Member

    For the last five years,i have been in a wonderful poly relationship. Your situation sounds perfect. If you are truly fortunate, everyone will fall in love with one another and you will all benefit. If you truly love someone,jealousy is not a problem,since jealousy is allabout selfishness rather than love. How could anyone want to stand in the way of love and pleasure being enjoyed by one you love. Avoid sex for the sake of sex! Sex is an expression of love or it almost always causes harm. If the four of you can come together in a loving and mature way,it can be the best experience of your lives,and may lead to a more unified and fulfilling life for you all. Tread carefully, honestly and lovingly, but do not listen to jealous insecure folks who are too scared to experiment outside of the failed yet dominant paraidgm.


    More Love
    Less Fear

    jim
     
  10. maxamilian

    maxamilian Member

    In your fantasies, everything is perfect. You dont take into account what your wife feels or what your male friend who is married to the girl feels, just what you and the woman feel. There are so many chances for this to go wrong and it really sounds like you and the woman want to fuck and this is an excuse to get the two of you together. If that is the case, have an affair, but skip the group sex unless your wife brings it up. In your fantasies, where everything is safe and where most ideas are supposed to remain, DO IT TILL THE WHEELS COME OFF!!!!
     
  11. catatonic

    catatonic Member

    Sounds like fun.
     
  12. RedStar

    RedStar Member

    a suggestion for you...
    if you have a fantasy about seeing someone else fucking your wife, get a large mirror and put it by the bed. I have a fantasy abotu seeing someone else doing my gf, but i know for a fact that it would caosue a lot of jealousy to arise in me afterwards. did she like it? did she like it too much? did she like it better than our sex? etc etc....
    now, when we have sex (on those seemingly all too rare occurances.. see my other post "tame lovelife") i get to see how she might look having sex with someone else by looking at her in the mirror. Mirrors are just great for sex anyway hehe
     

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