I had one final appointment today, this time with an IBCLC. And she gave it to me straight. My daughter only got 4 ccs total from my breasts, after using an SNS, pumping, fenugreek. Everything. The reason? Underdeveloped breast tissue. I don't have enough breast tissue to feed my baby. And as much as I know this isn't my fault, I tried SOOOO hard to feed her. I read all the books, built up breastfeeding in my mind as this penacle to be reached and emulated. It wasn't an option for me. My child would have my breast, no matter. And now to be told that, at most, my child gets not even a healthy snack from my breasts just makes me feel so retched. And yes, I know that I can still comfort her at the breast. And that relationship is still there, despite no milk. But...I just feel so crummy now.