going over "the edge"

Hi guys.
Last night I was tripping with my friends, and we had these weird moments.
Do you know when you feel like you're on the edge of insanity? When the moment just gets so intense you feel like you might never come back?

I've only just started using LSD, done it about three times, and the friends I was with have done it a few more. A few times throughout the night, we would see a place, kind of away from the buildings and shit, and it looked all dark and scary, and we were just sure that if we went there we would go at least temporarily crazy, or something wierd would happen.

I felt sure, and I'm sure they did too, that at some points we were at a crossroads in our trip, that we were right on the edge of something more deep and weird and intense than we'd ever experienced. We were too scared though. We had to re-ground ourselves in reality a couple of times.


Has anyone else experienced this sensation? Being close to "the edge" is the best I can describe it. We've decided we're going to cross that line next time, and see where our minds can take us. Has anyone here crossed the line? Somebody must understand this feeling, I'm really wondering what's over that boundary.

It feels more like a boundary in my mind than anything, sort of a deeper experience of acid, but yeah, I'm afraid to go there because I think it might be scary, and it always is a little scary when we see a "doorway" or opportunity to go there.

So, if anyone knows what I'm talking about, please reply. I really want to know what lies over that borderline.

 

I've experienced this edge with LSD, real insanity though is not something to take lightly and not really desirable.

 

Do not cross over it unless you are a strong willed person. I relate it close to ego death. Its like after you cross this line there is nothing left. The end.

When you come back it is the worst hours of your life. Nothing from any other drug I have taken compares to this.

 

Or the most beautiful, at least that was in my case.
The only thing I can tell is that if you hold on love, nothing can go wrong.

 

Lalakuno, You really don't know anything at all about psychedelics do you?

OP don't listen to this imposter. He is full of doo-doo.

It could be that you were close to ego-dissolution. It can be a very emotional and overwhelming experience, but once you have "broken through" it can be the most ecstatic and blissfull experience of your life. Only time you would have a problem with it is if you attempt to prevent it, if you try to be "strong-willed" in the face of it.
The reason it can be so overwhelming is because everything you have learned comprises "you" is no longer relevant and it psychologically feels as if you are dieing.
Here is an older thread about it that has a lot of good info and insights.
http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=383609&highlight=Ego+death&f=117

 

I thought I was going to die.

 

yeah its called a "bad trip"

 

Wtf really?

 

And sometimes bad trips are most benefitial if you understand why you had a bad one at the first place.
Usually because of something you don't like about yourself.

 

Really, I rather think of them as "good trips", really good trips where the work can get done
Once all the costumes have been stripped off the paper doll, you can see and appreciate the paper that comprises the doll.

 

Agreed!!!

 

So there is no such things as bad trips then... right... I'm glad to see the bullshitting false optimism and euphemistic language of mainstream culture has crossed over into the psychedelic world as well.

 

no no you guys misunderstand

the trip was good; it was an lsd trip. but LALA's trip, that's what was a bad trip, because its the trip + his reaction to it, which we see above.

 

You guys are smoking some serious crack cocaine!

 

If you look in the long run, there is no bad trip, but if you are just focusing on the moment when it is happening, yes there is bad trips.

But again, its up to you to label it bad, because it showed you something you don't like about your self so you can hate your self more, or you can label it good because now you know what to change about your self to become better person.

Its your choice!

 

Good or Bad trips reside within the tripper, you should know this GB.
I have had some horrendous, journey through hell trips, but those are the ones that also promoted the most change and true altering of life perspective . My recent posting about my agonizing mushroom trip so weakly conveyed the absolute hell and pain, both psychological and physical, that I endured. It still haunts me to this day, that is why it took six months to express it in words. I even said if I were not experienced, that trip would have pushed me over the edge, possibly for a very, very long time. But it also was one of the most revelatory experiences in my life to date.

Often fighting a "bad" trip will only bring further discomfort and pain.
The less honest you are with yourself about yourself, the more brutal such a trip will be.
A friend who was a yoga and multiple martial arts master once told me when I was having some profound and downright scary experiences during meditation that "No matter what you face, no matter how evil or powerful the dragon may be, you must face it and make it your friend, because it is but a part of yourself." I always recall that admonition when having a difficult journey. The realization that our biggest fear and strongest foe is only ourselves is key to gaining and learning from "bad" trips.

 

I gotcha
Psychedelics are the most brutal with those who hold the biggest facades about themselves.

 

What's the long run?

There are definitely bad trips. Whether you decide after the trip to utilize that experience and make something positive come out of it is a completely different story, to simply use the opposite of a bad trip is not fessing up to what it is no matter what you want to call it.

This is taken from PB Smith's shroom trip report not so long ago:

Sometimes the lessons and resolution of psychedelic experience are slow in coming, but if we are open and willing to endure hell, they can often lead to enormous gains in the long run. I know I will still be processing this one for a long time to come.

The lessons and resolution are taking place long after the trip part is over. Enduring Hell does not sound like a 'good trip'

 

Thanks for the replies guys. Very helpful, and good to know others know what I'm talking about. I'd read about ego death and I wondered if that was what it was. I'd like to experience ego death.

I am absolutely positive that this is something big, and something real, this line in our minds, but I don't think it's going crazy. I think maybe it just feels like that because it's so unfamiliar. It's a feeling like I just want to let go of everything I am and everything I know. While it is a little frightening, it is very very tempting.

Should you let go of reality on acid at those intense times? Or keep connected to it at least a little bit? If you let go, how hard is it go get back into reality?
(sorry if this doesn't make sense, I've only done it a few times but it absolutely fascinates me)

Every time we do it, we get to points where it's there, and we could go there if we want. I think we will do it but we will prepare ourselves a lot before-hand. I am a little afraid of a bad trip, but at the same time I feel like I want to understand the dark side of my mind.

Ultimately I don't know if I'm prepared enough for this level of tripping. Is there a way to know or a way to prepare yourself?

 

You can't fully appritiate heaven if you don't know how hell looks like.

In the long run means until you understand what can be changed, and then when you change it, you come to a conclusion that it was a good trip because it made you change.

Hard to understand until you dismantle your ego and put it back together different way. Its same ego, but a bit different, better (hopefuly).