going out with your boyfreind/girlfreind...

when you go out to nightclubs or pubs or where ever with your boyfreind or girlfreind, how much time do you spend appart from eachother, and how do you create a good balance between hanging out with other people and with your other half?

know what i mean?

 

1 and 1 make two

 

I try and let things be... the more i tell my girlfriend that she's free to do what she wants, the more we end up kickin it with each other... kind of weird ain't it? Women with possessive men seek freedom, women with free men seek possessiveness (sp?). Well anyways even though she hasn't danced with anyone else, I don't believe in being the only person she dances with; this of course, applies both ways.

About creating a whole balance, i think that depends on the relationship between your bf/gf and each others friends. If you're with neutral friends who aren't trying to be alpha males then it's all good. But if you're an alpha male, and are with your girlfriend with another alpha male, then that's...not good. But generally when i'm out with my girlfriend i either just kick it with her and her friends, or call up some friends i know i'm comfortable with, with my girlfriend. Know what i mean?

cheers

 

I definately would have any problem with my girlfriend going with friend if we went out. I'm a jealous guy though so the whole time i'd probably be worried. It's not because I don't trust her, it's because of stupid past relationships ruining my emotions. But then again, maybe I wouldn't be jealous as I trust her so much and she has never given me a reason not to trust her. I do love her

 

is it always male against male stuff though, I mean what if a chick was talking to other chicks, but you still felt, ignored... like? yeah?

 

i don't understand your question retro... my girl gets jealous when i'm talking to friends that are girls, i get jealous when she's talking to a guy that's a friend. It's the way it is. I don't do anything about it but the nagging feeling is still there that there's a possibility that something i care about might be taken from me.

In terms of my girlfriend ignoring me by talking to other chicks. I'd probably do the same. Talk to other chicks. I mean shit, two can play THAT game.

But my baby wouldn't do that, we don't go out with each other unless we're planning on, well, BEING with each other. We're both pretty logical, me moreso than her, but atleast we know the rules of the game. I think we're beyond the whole constant-reassurance thing, we can do our own thing now and feel good about being trusted. Cheers.

 

What I mean is, if a chick was wondering about and about talking to people, anyone, not flirting, not necessarily guys or chicks, just anyone, just talking, would you still feel bad?

 

I've always spent 100 percent of the time with the person I go with. it's rude on either party to leave the other person alone.

 

I think this question is a sort of paradox. Why would you feel bad? Most of the time i'd think a guy would feel angry. But i associate anger with possessiveness, and i guess sadness with... insecurity? Personally, i wouldn't feel comfortable knowing that i'm preventing my girl from socializing. We're two different people who have our own lives, and our life. You know what i'm saying? It's two different things, there is the life we have together and the life outside. I suppose what we're talking about is a conflict between the two. What transcends that is probably trust or something like that.

But yeah, being as honest as i can, i would probably 'feel bad' if i was on my own and my girl was talking to other people. But that's usually not the case, we're all in the same group. She talks, i talk, we talk together, we might split up for a few minutes, catch eyes across the bar or whatever get together chill for a while, the group gathers again etc... i would feel more bad if say, my girl went to a concert or whatnot without me. She is, or was, a big concert girl and i guess i just associate concerts with girls tryin to get with the people playing or drunk men tryin to do somethin with my girl. But i don't let it get to me, i just remind myself that it's her life and i have my own. We both wouldn't have trouble gettin any outside of the relationship and that's what's cool, is that we have each other and so far so good.

I mean, does your man feel bad? That's not so bad, it just means he cares about you and like i said, doesn't want something he cares about being taken from him. But these days i tend to measure my love for someone in terms of freedom and experience. You're not going to prove that you're the better guy by saying it, right?

cheers

 

i always try and keep my girlfreind company when going out with her, but if ive got freinds around to talk to i will also spend time talking to them, but include her too if she wanted. if she wanted to wander off i would still check on her every once in a while to check she was alright or not passed out drunk anywhere, or being abused or something. but i have to admit that i get annoyed when she is off for ages sitting with a group of guys or something and wants me to leave her alone and i am sitting around with not much to do. it makes me feel like i must be a bit boring. i never really feel the need to go chatting to people i dont know.

am i being unfair? or am i just uncool?

i suppose the solution to our problem is for me to get more into the idea of chatting to other people too...

i love her and want to get over this little problem. its the first time we ever really argued heaps...

whats the best solution?

 

Tell her what you need from her, if you want her by her side, let her know that. Then you can compromise.

But try and understand that she loves you to death and only you

 

w0rd up.

I mean, it's good and all that you two can talk about this over a forum, but in my little existance (and relatively, yours), i've learned that talking and doing are two different things. I've found myself telling my girl all these different plans i have for us, but really, we never do them but the things that we do do, are always much better than the plans themselves. You know what i'm saying? And it boils down to doing all the time. No matter how much you tell a girl you love her, or like her, or want to be with her, it doesn't mean shit if you don't actually do it. If you don't love a girl, and make love to her, or be with her and tell her that you like doing it. I don't try and revert the statement that words are the way into a girl's heart, but i believe that actions are the anchor.

cheers, and liven up it's life, don't even talk about talking just do what you always do and look into each others eyes ahhh i miss my girl cheers!

 

Yea..thats really well put!!

 

yeap!! ... again exactly.. haha.. u certainly seem to have these points figured out.