Have you ever masturbated while thinking about another guy you talk to weekly while you were in a relationship? If you have done it, and you were into the guy enough to get off on your memories of him would you be likely to accept his advances if he made a move despite having a longtime boyfriend? Sorta weird questions I know, it's just I know this gorgeous girl who I'm fairly sure is digging me and got all nervous / embarrassed when I joked with her about thinking about me at night. I've known her for a few months now through school, and I've periodically mentioned that I think we'd be good together. She's been with this other guy for two years but I really think I could make her happier than she is now. I always feel bad for guys in his position but I can't get my mind off her and I feel like I would (and she would) be passing up a pretty incredible thing if we didn't give it a shot. To compound the problem their families know each other well and there is a cultural barrier between the two of us. She's Hispanic (so is her boyfriend) and I'm an American from Florida of European decent. It feels like she's reached out to me a couple times though, and at one point sent me a message saying she thought she was going to break up. At this point I'm venting and rambling but I'd love to hear anyone's opinion who wants to chime in on my frustrating situation.
I think you shouldn't make a move, she's in a relationship and it's a scumbag move. If you think that she's interested leave it with a "if you and ____ ever break up let me know, I'd love to take you out to dinner". Then let HER be the bad guy, not you. Also keep in mind that all relationships have bad days, those days when shes telling you that they may break up might be jus after a fight or something.
That makes sense Sara, thanks for the response. It's just ... SHE'S FEELING ME I KNOW IT! Way more than her boyfriend, ugh. She's told me that her life's a mess and given me a look like she needed me. Every time we talk on the phone we both put on the girlfriend / boyfriend voice and the goodbye always sounds almost painful on both sides. I dunno why she isn't going after what she wants, but I have some ideas. I don't know if she has some secrets that she thinks will make me lose interest, or she thinks her family and I won't mesh well together (I'm great with most moms but I'm not sure about Latina moms), or she's worried about losing friends because they're shared with her and her BF, but it drives me crazy thinking about how it would be if we were only thinking about each other. She's already seen my intelligent side and how easy academic stuff comes to me, and I want to show her my physical acuity which I think might be more impressive than my brains but she won't hang out with any guys other than her boyfriend's friends so I won't get the chance. Have any of you had experience with love across cultural barriers? I'm totally fascinated by her and even offered to just be her friend so I could get to know her better but she wasn't having it. Obviously I need to get over it but according to Murphy as soon as I do she's going to become available, so I hesitate to start pursuing other options. I'm so bored by other girls and don't want any part of them, she fucking ruined me dudes... lol My rational side is telling me I'll recover but it doesn't feel like that right now. I'm starting to qualify as a hopeless romantic which I don't want, but nothing else feels right. This shit is raw.
I had that for a bit with this girl, she said non-stop how much she loved me and such, how we're BFF's. She'd ask me on dates sometimes, and usually when her boyfriend would go to his friends, she'd come to find me. I helped her try to stop smoking, start attending more classes, become 'better' and she had this boyfriend she'd always vent to me about. Anyway, It's best to just stay close for now. If they break up then you'll be there and you know how to take the ace. Right now will get a ton of extra drama on your ass.
