This may seem like a silly post but ... I was involved withthis boy Chris for almost a year. He was like my third boyfriend. I have always been someone that liked men, but didn't have to have someone at all times. I had known him for a long time before that though. Anyway, when he pursued me I knew already that he was a jerk. You know what though, I had always had this thing for him so I guess I ignored my instincts because I felt a deep attraction to him. After a while my friends and parents especially hated him. I knew that he was sort of controlling, but eventually he began verbally abusing me telling me that I was "pretty, but not beautiful", and that 'sometimes I just wasn't his type'. If I wore or did something he didn't like he would just pick on me until I would start to cry. Anyway he just wore me down you know. He lied to me about not doing drugs, cheated on me, and even took one hundred dollars from me once. Even when other respectable men expressed clear interest in me, I was flattered, but loyal , deeply loyal to Chris. He's not around anymore, and that's good! I know it's not the biggest deal or anything but I still cry about it sometimes. I feel like I betrayed myself, and disappointed myself and all of those that love me. I know that I followed my heart at the time,but sometimes, I just feel so dirty and used. I guess that's the feeling a woman gets when she gives herself emotionally, and physically to someone that doesn't deserve her. My parents sent me to counseling and I felt it was helpful. I just wanted to hear from other women who maybe felt the same at one time or another.