girls...have you ever felt this way after you gave too much of yourself to a man?

This may seem like a silly post but ... I was involved withthis boy Chris for almost a year. He was like my third boyfriend. I have always been someone that liked men, but didn't have to have someone at all times. I had known him for a long time before that though. Anyway, when he pursued me I knew already that he was a jerk. You know what though, I had always had this thing for him so I guess I ignored my instincts because I felt a deep attraction to him. After a while my friends and parents especially hated him. I knew that he was sort of controlling, but eventually he began verbally abusing me telling me that I was "pretty, but not beautiful", and that 'sometimes I just wasn't his type'. If I wore or did something he didn't like he would just pick on me until I would start to cry. Anyway he just wore me down you know. He lied to me about not doing drugs, cheated on me, and even took one hundred dollars from me once. Even when other respectable men expressed clear interest in me, I was flattered, but loyal , deeply loyal to Chris. He's not around anymore, and that's good! I know it's not the biggest deal or anything but I still cry about it sometimes. I feel like I betrayed myself, and disappointed myself and all of those that love me. I know that I followed my heart at the time,but sometimes, I just feel so dirty and used. I guess that's the feeling a woman gets when she gives herself emotionally, and physically to someone that doesn't deserve her. My parents sent me to counseling and I felt it was helpful. I just wanted to hear from other women who maybe felt the same at one time or another.

 

you have been emotionally abused. I have been through something similar and know just how painfull it is. It takes a LONG, LONG time to get over this, as it is the same to any other form of abuse. Lean on your friends and family for support and DO NOT let this guy back in your life.

 

I say find him and kick his ass. If he did that to you do something. and honorestly i would never do that to my gf. I would go so wrong if that happen and I love her alot too. Hey atleast hes not there any more theres no more abused.

 

It's so painful to put so much time and effort into making a relationship work, even when you know deep down that it will eventually fall apart. A friend and i were just talking about that last night. We were comparing cheating boyfriends, and the feeling you get when you find out. It's like the whole world is laughing at your stupidity. Or so it seems at the time.

I guess what hurts the most (at least for me) is the fact that you're so easily discarded and not worth common decency to these fuckers. Even after I left my ex, when he first hooked up with someone else it nearly killed me.....not out of jealousy but just because i was apparently very easy to replace to him, and I'd spent so much time, no, WASTED so much time forgiving him over and over and over again thinking we'd eventually work it out or a magical light would turn on in his brain and he'd see the error of his ways......to realize that all that suffering I went through was for nothing, and that I could have ended the relationship so much earlier and been better off was the real kicker.


I think his bad Karma finally came back around on him though. Last year he was jailed for supposedly molesting his new wife's 6 year old son. That poor kid. I'm not so sure if I believe it because i don't see him being capable of something like that, but then again he did a LOT of shit during our relationship I wouldn't have imagined him ever doing. (he was sleeping with a 12 yr old, and was accused of attempted rape at least 2 times.)

Just be glad that you got out of it sooner rather than later. Your wounds will eventually heal, and hopefully you'll be a better, stonger person for it.

 

thanks for your answers everyone..maybe there will be more responses! Moonshyne, I used to wait for that "light to go on in his head". I kept telling myself the more I gave and the more time he spent with me the clearer it would become to him that I was deserving of more respect. I used to verbally pick up for myself by saying that's not true, or tell him he was hurting me, but he'd say sorry and I would stay over and over. It used to hurt me the way he used to downplay my talents and acheivements...fucker...lol. .