girls? have you ever felt so used after you gave too much in a relationship?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by neckienoo, Jun 1, 2004.

  1. neckienoo

    neckienoo Member

    This may seem like a silly post but ... I was involved withthis boy Chris for almost a year. He was like my third boyfriend. I have always been someone that liked men, but didn't have to have someone at all times. I had known him for a long time before that though. Anyway, when he pursued me I knew already that he was a jerk. You know what though, I had always had this thing for him so I guess I ignored my instincts because I felt a deep attraction to him. After a while my friends and parents especially hated him. I knew that he was sort of controlling, but eventually he began verbally abusing me telling me that I was "pretty, but not beautiful", and that 'sometimes I just wasn't his type'. If I wore or did something he didn't like he would just pick on me until I would start to cry. Anyway he just wore me down you know. He lied to me about not doing drugs, cheated on me, and even took one hundred dollars from me once. Even when other respectable men expressed clear interest in me, I was flattered, but loyal , deeply loyal to Chris. He's not around anymore, and that's good! I know it's not the biggest deal or anything but I still cry about it sometimes. I feel like I betrayed myself, and disappointed myself and all of those that love me. Sometimes, I just feel so dirty and used. I guess that's the feeling a woman gets when she gives herself emotionally, and physically to someone that doesn't deserve her. My parents sent me to counseling and I felt it was helpful. I just wanted to hear from other women who maybe felt the same at one time or another.
  2. sadeyedlady

    sadeyedlady Member

    uhh..well, not the same situation. but i was in a relationship a few months ago with this person who i really cared about. i'm such an idealist and fail to see flaws in people i'm with and when I do see flaws I romanticize them. for example, this person was an artist and her art was really quite bad but i somehow convinced myself she was just "different." I also don't think she was too bright. So I don't feel dirty or used or anything but I'm kind of angry because of all the time I wasted.

    lol, well I don't know if that will make you feel better, but the point is, we all make dumb mistakes. We're young and our relationships are supposed to be fucked up. You'll get over it and have stronger relationships in the future as a result.
  3. AutumnAuburn

    AutumnAuburn Senior Member

    LOL I lived with a guy, named Chris, for about 18 months or so, that pretty much did the same thing to me, as your Chris did to you... What's with that name???

    Anyways... Learn from it and it won't be wasted time...
  4. enigma_rising

    enigma_rising Member

    ohh hunny, my one of those guys was called sam, and he lived for noone but himself and i was so dedicated to him but in the end i was left feling empty and useless and on antidepressants, now off them thankfully and with a decent guy, i learned from my mistake eventually, and as long as you learn from yours you will go on to be happy and fulfilled. theres no shame in still feeling hurt, or angry or weak now though, those feelings take time to fade, but they do eventually. Promise :)
  5. Shakra

    Shakra Member

    I think you are lucky if you don't come out of at least one relationship feeling sour, bitter, used, hurt, let down etc. Guys get used, hurt, let down etc too tho so it all evens out, at least for most [​IMG]

    I tend to propel guys I like to the tops of impossibly high pedestals, and that's just asking for trouble. They can do no wrong, and of course when they do I rationalize it all away, pretend that I was mistaken and that they are still in fact perfectly perched atop my impossibly high pedestal.

    Eventually, or at least so far, they end up doing something so, so wrong that they inevitably teeter and fall off, but they never seem to hit the ground as hard as I do.

    And I wonder why I am still single [​IMG] although I have to say, happily so [​IMG] besides I'm not entirely sure that I believe in love or should I say 'being in love' at all anymore. Unless I can claim to 'be in love' with nature [​IMG] (but then I wouldn't even consider myself a hippy in any sense of the word).
  6. superNova

    superNova Member

    *raises hand* did that once! mine was the clint. treated me great for a little while then like dirt pretty quickly. definitely learned from that one, lemme tell you.

    it happens to the best of us. just do what everyone else here has been saying, learn from it, move on, live, love and be merry :)
  7. neckienoo

    neckienoo Member

    thank you girls

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