GIRL on BUS loves ..girl on bus seeks advice

O.K firstly. I'm here for advice and direction.
So,Please allow me to 'bring you up to speed.and i promise ..to make it quick.
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My relation with Katrina started after leaving school and during UNI days.. we 'were ‘a rock together, the love of my life. there could be no other ,match , .We always stuck - together.
After 12 years of happy bliss ,(to make it short) she's OFF, gets pregnant and married..... WE are, still very good friends.. in fact i,m a god parent.... I couldn’t think of any one nicer
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yerr yerr ...we're all been dumped.... get to the point....
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I moved in with my big brother @ Greenwith.he helped pick me up.. i got a new job in the city @ stepney.
For over a year I get the bus to work every day.....
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Thats the update. now for the latest in my stupidty
For a long time now, I,ve been getting the bus to work every day.....
yep ,there she is...
SHe gets on the bus ,and ALWAYS stands at the front.
I,m totally besotted ?,behaving like a schoolgirl, I,m ashamed to say , a thief.....stealing quick looks and peering at her reflection.Im totally in "ding dong!"land.
i think about her all day long.she brightens my day just to see her get on the bus. My heart breaks if she does not get on the bus. i,m sooo knocked over.
last month i had a few day off work...and still i got the bus to work.. she's become ......a drug....

But like a bad thief. i got caught stealing a look at her .she must think i'm a complete sicko YOu must think i,m a complete sicko ..
the very next day , the bus was full,she walked down the bus to find a seat, took one look at me and i could see the shock hit her face , and fear leaped through me.....
FOr the next week i sat as far to the back of the bus as i possibly could
then , the following day..she gets on the bus , sat down next to me....... she started to read a book , Yet, i could see she kept looking at me???
AND what did i do?
nothing . I sat there in total terror. When it came time for me to get off. i nearly pushed her off the seat.
I FEEL SUCH A JUVINILE IDIOT...""excuse me excuse me" is all i kept saying. i threw myself off that bus.
when i got off the bus i throw up my breakfast( city bin provided.)
I hope she didnt see that!.
I havent been to work for 2 days...
I should have asked her about the book she was reading.DAM it all
i wanted to talk to her, but i was struck with horror.
my GOD ! what is happening to me.. i'm turning into one of those sick pervos.. i have NO idea who she is!
i,m totally going nuts?
SO.
please advise? what can i do? i never had the experience of " free courting" age, i never dated,it was kate and me .i never needed to...
so how do i tell if she likes me, or even interested.. I suddenly discover that it's a dangerous world out there, or i,m soo paronoid .
it is so dam HARD....
HOw can I tell if she likes me ? ( see ,it’s the same for us girls too)
i cannot get the later bus?...there isnt one,.. I’m not thinking right, it s’ the weekend.. all I can do is think about HER.i cant ask her out on the bus, she might like ......... well you know...boys. ..She's not married i checke her hand....OH ! come on some one out there offer some GOOD ADVICE

 

You know, why not just make a small talk, like "Hey, how are you this morning? We seem to be on the same bus pretty often," with a bright, friendly smile on your face? I think you need to develop a friendship with her first. There's always a chance that she isn't into girls, so it's good to be friends with her first and get to know her better. And if you still find her romantically, emotionally, intellectually attractive after all that, then you start worrying about how to let your feelings known. But it isn't that time yet, I don't think. But everything starts with a greeting.

On that note, welcome to Hip Forums, lol. xD
::AT::

 

The introduction and approach is over emphasized in reality.

The key to success and getting over the nerves of introducing yourself to anybody whether it's for a job interview, a romantic interest, or just seeking a friendship is to not mentally freak yourself out.

Rejection, failure, and not getting a said job is NOT a big deal, especially while you are young. Other people are just other people like yourself trying to make it in this world, it's a game, where the objective is to expand your network, do as little harm as possible, and pass the torch to the next generation.

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Disclosure: to an extent I had trouble understanding the original post, and I thought the OP as the bus driver at first because of the line "getting the bus to work", making me think they're a mechanic or something. I think she meant "taking" the bus to work.

So she's a fellow passenger crushing on another passenger is what I eventually figured out.


Also I don't think glancing and noticing someone makes you a pervert, if that was the original meaning of the word pervert, then everybody is one if they've EVER had a crush. As long as someone isn't inappropriate during social interaction with someone, I don't think stealing glances.

Hard staring, attempts to touch inappropriately, and disregard for personal boundaries including unauthorized pictures of a said individual is pervy though.

 

thanks for the replies. yes i,m a passenger and so is she... I just need the guts to say hello...suppose...... will add to this when i have my 'thinking head' later
thanks again.

 

Note to self, once you are caught looking, I think it's creepier if you don't at least say a friendly hello and introduce yourself. As long as you are appropriate and courteous, you'll more than likely end up at least with an acquaintance for the bus ride.

 

hay !thanks 'monkir' didnt think about that... good thanks

 

You're mentally killing yourself.. change your thinking. Instead of "finding out if she likes me" try to find out something innocuous about her like "is she going to school or work"? Set small, attainable goals that 1) can't offend a stranger and 2) help you figure out if she is really the kind of person you want to be friends with. Now the best way to take the pressure off yourself is to always have 2+ girls you are working on in baby steps. Never keep your eggs in one basket or you'll be terrified of dropping it. That's why players are so good at talking to women.. they are disposable when you've got a line of them.

 

Meh, I kinda agree with you on the point about get used to talking to women in general, especially beautiful women if they intimidate you, and just socialize and you'll realize that the pedestal is a horrible mental construct.

And I don't like thinking of people as disposable, I disagree there. But I do agree on having resilience so one recognizes that there are other girls out there if one fails.

But telling someone, that people in general are disposable, is the difference in the mindset between a jackass, and a nice guy when it comes to dating, sex, relationships and women.

 

Yeah, I agree with Monk, and disagree with NexEvo, where the disposable people concept is concerned. I am not a player so I can't really relate to the way they think...but they are basically just focusing on lust, are they not? The whole, "one chick is out, so let's move on to this other chick and see if she'll fuck me" type attitude. If so, then excuse me but I must say that's a pretty shitty way of perceiving people in my opinion.

Being a hopeless romantic, I personally believe that there is absolutely nothing wrong with focusing on one person when it comes to pursuing romance. There's an old saying, "one who chases two rabbits captures none", and I believe this to be true in some/many cases. I certainly have experienced this firsthand in the past myself. The reality is that, when you find yourself being romantically attracted to someone specific, and especially if you're a romantic like myself for instance, attempting to introduce other "potential love candidates" into the picture would be VERY emotionally straining. Perhaps it also has something to do with how our brain is wired, but when we're in love, we're in love. It's not a lust thing, although it can be a part of the attraction naturally speaking. It's more of an emotional attraction rather than a genitally-driven urge.

You don't need to take a player's approach to go about your situation. As Monk and I have already suggested, just be friendly and courteous, and casually say hello to her. Once you two become friendly bus acquaintances, slowly get to know each other better by, well, just keep talking really. Eventually, you'll have a better idea of what she's like(if all goes smoothly at least, lol). But at this stage, you should focus on building a friendship, not something romantic right away. Unless, of course, things progress into that direction naturally. In which case you should relax(albeit with enough mindfulness so as not to be excessively blinded by the whole thing), and see where it all takes the two of you. But it IS a good idea to take things slowly. Again, I speak from my own experience.

 

thank you 'alt thinker ' and 'monkjr' As a 'chick' I wouldn't like to be used and disposed of. that's very cold, I<m not like that... The point is , I been out of the dating game soooo long. In truth was not very good at it... and I kinda one person on one. WHat do you guys say do?.... ( please. for real) ..." hay chicky babe want some" is not getting u, or me anywhere....
MY friends,and family say I'm good looking, blonde blue eyes, thin,clean ,got all my own teeth........
yet I don't make a ...errmmm.. gender conection...hard to explain.. my brother once told me," sis, your a great bloke for a girlie",
shes not going to be interested in coming around to see this great new mig welder I got for my birthday.( which is REALLY COOL!)

SO GUYS! -girls help... after hello,how are you....what do I say? I,m all fingers and dumb thumbs